Partner moving in and DLA or not?

delain

I think you should be ok, 4 nights a month is nothing, really.

mandij30

delain wrote: »

I think you should be ok, 4 nights a month is nothing, really.

Maybe so, but how are we mean't to progress in a relationship if we don't get to see them. I wish I could see more of him, i'm having to interact with him over the net on a daily basis, just to keep our relationship going.

The tax credits hotline is unhelpful as it just says you need to tell us if there is a change in your circumstances, I.E (a partner moves in with you) well as he hasn't, and wont be for a while yet.

Its all unclear to me, and I don't want to get in any trouble.

delain

This is exactly my problem.

It has got to the point where i've had to say either give up your life and support me, or don't come round!:eek:

which sucks

mandij30

delain wrote: »

This is exactly my problem.

It has got to the point where i've had to say either give up your life and support me, or don't come round!:eek:

which sucks

I guess its trickier for you, because your partner works, so I guess it could be seen that he could be contributing towards your household. However my partner isnt working and is on JSA. So even if he wanted to he couldn't contribute as he doesn't even get enough to pay hes bills.

I think there should be clear and precise definitions of what is classed as a couple. I was always of the belief that it is a partner who is living with you. Well as our partners are not living with us, and just staying over occasionally, how can that be classed as a couple ????

delain

earlier in the thread a lady said she was told my a customer compliance officer that if your neighours would know you had a bf then they class you as a ouple for benefits purposes.

delain

delain wrote: »

earlier in the thread a lady said she was told my a customer compliance officer that if your neighours would know you had a bf then they class you as a ouple for benefits purposes.

excuse my terrible typing! i have an 11 week old kitten with laptop envy and very sharp claws!!

delain

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

The thing is, we are busy discussing here whether having someone stay over, receiving their post, having car insurance with them etc is classed as 'a couple' for benefit purposes and some have said that it's 'unfair' that people on benefits are not allowed a relationship.

But this is not the case is it? No one has actually suggested another alternative, which is don't have them stay over, don't receive their post, don't go on their car insurance - i.e. just be boyfriend and girlfriend and go out togther, or visit and then go home.That's having a relationship without being classed as a couple..

If you are doing the things a couple do, you will be classed as a couple. Fair enough I think!

I would like to point out that i have not been able to 'just go out' since i turned 17 and for the last 7 years have been bound to do what is best for my children i.e spending the little money i do have on their school uniforms, school shoes, other clothing and occasional trips out with them when i can afford it so we have little choice but to stay at home especially since babysitters are few and far between! I don't know about anyone else but on the rare times i do have a babysitter we end up doing a 'deep clean' on the house!! Which i am sure you will agree is not most peoples idea of a date :rolleyes:

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

The thing is, we are busy discussing here whether having someone stay over, receiving their post, having car insurance with them etc is classed as 'a couple' for benefit purposes and some have said that it's 'unfair' that people on benefits are not allowed a relationship.

But this is not the case is it? No one has actually suggested another alternative, which is don't have them stay over, don't receive their post, don't go on their car insurance - i.e. just be boyfriend and girlfriend and go out togther, or visit and then go home.That's having a relationship without being classed as a couple..

If you are doing the things a couple do, you will be classed as a couple. Fair enough I think!

In my case, I don't receive his post, I have my own car & insurance and he only stays over on his 2 nights off a week, surely I should as a fully grown adult be able to have my boyfriend stay over.

It's very well saying go out & go home but I have 3 children, 2 of which are Autistic, I can't go out as I need to be at home with them, I have never left my kids with anyone.

Life is stressful & everyone should be entitled to a little happiness, I look forward to my BF coming around, it's very lonely being at home with 3 kids all the time.

Im not saying I don't want my BF to move in for any financial reason but I have 3 kids that have already lost their dad & I don't want them getting too attached to him yet incase it doesn't work out.

Taking on someone else's kids is a very admirable thing to do but it is comes with extra difficulties when there are Autsitic kids involved, I also have problems with relationships as im Autistic myself.

My BF is a saint for putting up with me when my husband didn't plus he helps me out with my kids as much as possible which must be hard for him as their behaviour is very trying at times even for me as their mother.

Im hoping that if things carry on to go as well as they are & that my kids continue to respond well to my BF that he will be able to move in at some point in the near future.

I honestly think that only knowing someone for 6 months does not equate to a stable relationship & therefore not in the best interest of my kids at this present time and whats best for my kids is what I care most about.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

delain wrote: »

earlier in the thread a lady said she was told my a customer compliance officer that if your neighours would know you had a bf then they class you as a ouple for benefits purposes.

That is what I was told on Wednesday, she also told me that Housing Benefit use a 3 day rule & I think the Tax Credit people do too, it's just the DWP who don't have any quidelines of what is acceptable & what isn't.

How can you blame people for breaking the rules when they don't know the rules & when you ask for the rules they don't know them either??

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

delain wrote: »

I would like to point out that i have not been able to 'just go out' since i turned 17 and for the last 7 years have been bound to do what is best for my children i.e spending the little money i do have on their school uniforms, school shoes, other clothing and occasional trips out with them when i can afford it so we have little choice but to stay at home especially since babysitters are few and far between! I don't know about anyone else but on the rare times i do have a babysitter we end up doing a 'deep clean' on the house!! Which i am sure you will agree is not most peoples idea of a date :rolleyes:

It's alot harder to find babysitters when you have Autistic kids & I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving mine with someone I didnt know, from experience even my family struggle with my boys behavior.