Today is a new day!

mum2one

those sales are brilliant, and good news re the appointment, maybe life seems to be falling into place, and your adjusting slowly towards a new life.

From the sound of it, mum has realised what she has missed out on, and maybe it was her way of offering the olive branch.

You take care, good luck with the meeting. xx

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

So, the appointment is later, and if its one thing recent experiences have taught me is that I allow things to get to me and worry me to the point I have not been sleeping and I feel like I am in a constant battle never to be accepted as I am.
Two things, I haven't seen mum at all for sometime. When I collected dd from their house the other eve she is out and I see dad. Mum had left a note about when she could have dd in the summer hols. They are away on hols for the next couple of weeks, back for a week and then off to stay with my sis. I have decided to let her know that the dates she has said she is free in the week before she sees my sis are great of her but no thank you. I do not want to see her before she sees my sis, that way they have very littke to talk about regarding my situation and nothing more can flare up. I know mum will be fousing on my sis and her family and quite rightly so but I think it will be natural to discuss the rest of us family and how everyones getting on, and so with regard to me and dd the less they know the better!. So, that means I don't have to worry about seeing mum or dad for over a month until the latter half of August and I feel v relieved.

Dds school. Dd had a great report. Areas to improve on but what child doesn't. The main areas which were great was that her reading and writing are above average. Her maths isn't but then her reading wasn't this time last year so we will focus more on that and that will rectify itself. ?Her best marks were for art. She got top marks for effort and attainment. Yes, dd loves her creativeness and she has done some fantastic drawings. So, well done dd. The thing that has got me is the teachers comment which makes reference to the occasional lateness. Dd's attendance was 98% again, her lates this time were 20%, last year they were 11%. When you consider the number of falls Ive had and the snow again last winter I am not overly concerned, but the teacher has said Jill is missing out and it would be helful if I could get her there on time. Do you know I just despair. Every day im doing my upmost, they clearly fail to acknowledge that disability effects a persons life, once again being disabled is somehow a guilty thing to be. They want miracles. I spoke to another mum and her dd's attendance was 95% with a few lates, nothing mebtioned in her report whatsoever about the absenses due to having a hols in term time..Wouldn't you feel discriminated against if you wre me? or am I over reacting? Today I am feeling like mum said, my best will never be good enough and what am I thinking saying we - dd and I - are going to be ok. Am I living in cloud cuckoo land? Actually I won't talk about it anymore, Im crying and im allowing it to make me feel so mad and I need to be positive. Focus focus focus. 2.30 cant come soon enough. Will the person Im seeing think Im mad?

Keeping_Motivated

No she will see you are feeling vulnerable and each comment or direct remark feels like you are being wounded and you need someone to talk it through with and thats understandable.

I wonder if you could look at the teacher in a slightly different way ie roll your eyes and pity her for her ignorance but keep calm and carry on as the saying goes. YOU know why DD is late sometimes and thats all that matters let the teacher ramble/comment all she likes all that matters is you and DD know and you don't need her approvement so let the comments just wash over you. Easier said than done I know.

Take care

beanielou

Dont dwell on it.
Thats the way it is & there is nothing you can do to change it.

mum2one

Please dont beat yourself up, if you dont mind my view, if the head had a problem re the lateness, I'm pretty sure he/she would be on the phone letters home, even the education authority. I'm guessing they haven't, I know school teachers have to do things by the book, eg marking late, but like me you have a genuine reason, and that would be taken into account, so just roll your eyes, or make a passing comment - if it was snowy, its taken xx time, I think we have done well.
x

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Thank you all for your common sense and level headed response. I will take your advice on board. Thank you.

Well, am feeling so much lighter today in myself. Went to the appt yesterday and it was quite a challenge finding the place. Up a couple of floors - 4 flights of stairs, with no bannister to hold on to on the right side as you come down. Other than that, the lady I saw was v nice. She told me Im not going mad, and infact she said I was amazing in many ways! She feels she can help me with dealing with dh situation, my family situation and forming a clear headed attitude and positive feeling about the future. So, Im seeing her again in a couple of weeks. She wants me to concentrate in the meantime on being kinder to myself and to enjoy the moments as opposed to worrying. And to try and not question everything Im doing, not doubt my abilities so much.Yes, I felt completely wacked out after the appt. It was v emotional. It all came out but Im feelng better for it today and I really want to improve as a person and be able to help my dd and so forth in the coming years and for both of us to enjoy the years ahead together positively. Then last eve I was doing a delivery to a customer and she and her dh are joining my team!! They've knowm me since before I was pregnant with dd. They knew my dh, and now I am going to be wortkng with them to help them achieve their goals. Am v excited! Now that to me says go lou go. You are on the right track. All will be well, all is well. Yes, when these things happen I like to think my dh and my granny from up above are spurring me on... They are saying there is no need to doubt your abilities because you are doing it, it is working. You've just had your best 4 weeks this year sales wise and now a new recruit and hopefully more to follow courtesy of your customer newsletter..Keep aspiring and doing your best. Amazing what 24 hours can do..Off to work and later dd and I are attending a bbq, the end of term celebration at her after school club.Am going to focus on enjoying that.

taxi73

you sound so much better this morning and you know what that lady is right ..you've just got to believe her and you'll be halfway there xxx

beanielou

What a lovely positive post.
Hope you & DD enjoyed the BBQ
Lucky its not here as it's raining!

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

So its been a great weekend so far. Have really been focusing my efforts on enjoying the moments. Have still had questioning times and have really had to tell myself to stop it and get on with the day, then Ive reminded myself to be kind to myself so have stopped telling myself off for questioning myself and just focus on the day... You have to laugh..Baby steps!!The bbq was very nice, a chance to meet other parents who I otherwise pass by as we all collect our children from the club. Then yesterday despite the pouring rain, dd and I did an hours work and then went down to the harbour for half an hour. Watched the boats and the fish near the quayside. Yes, that was nice. Then today have been down the seafront, just got back in good time as the weather has turned now and its just thundered and now pouring with rain. But it was high tide earlier and the sun was really trying to shine and while I sat on the beach dd went down to the waters edge and every time a wave crashed near her she ran back so as to not get her feet wet. It was lovely seeing the wind in her hair and waving back at me and just enjoying the moment. We treated ourselves to an icecream before coming home..

On the financial and work front, spent some time yesterday doing a to do list and getting my desk organised. One of the priority things on my list is to address my building and contents insurance which has just come up for renewal. I have obtained a quote which is virtually half my existing premium and so I am just checking the small print of the respective policies and then will sort it out. It would have implications for my mtge as I appreciate its not very mse but my insurance has been part of my mortgage, it seemed an easy solution at the time, so if I cancel my existing policy I want to know how much my mortgage payment will reduce by, and if I keep my mortgage payments as they are how much sooner does that mean I will pay my mortgage off in full.

So, starting to really get organised. Am just about to roast a chicken I got at a reduced price with a view to carve it up into portions and plonk in the freezer. Am also getting dd's childcare arrangements finalised for the summer hols - her school has 5 inset days this hols!! - and have enquired on various websites where would be good to take her with our flask of tea and picnic on weekends and on weds which is the day I intend to take off with her. May do an hour of ebay shortly. Have a bundle of dd's clothes too small for her that we could sell.. Also recd a chq for £42 from the auction house for 2 items sold there. Not bad!

taxi73

What a great post...I'm so pleased that you're getting out and about with DD and appreciating and noticing the small things in life..that is a great step forward and will do the both of you a world of good.I'm sure that you'll manage to find some nice cheap/free places to go in the summer holidays and create some lovely memories for you both.

Great news about the house insurance ..it's always nice to save some money.You're doing fantastic