Today is a new day!

InaPickle

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED wrote: »

On the positive and very helpful side of things. She and dad have GIVEN, not lent, given me the money I need for the adaption, plus £200 to help me get over the next couple of weeks with pending bills. She has said it is a one off, so not to be repeated. Whilst I am v appreciative, I did say to her, Ive never asked them for anything in the past, everything Ive done on my own. Wedding, adaptions, house, other things related to my disability too numerous to go into here, Ive financed them all myself. And I wouldn't expect them to bail me out nor was I expecting them to this time. In other words I was reassuring her I was getting things on track after the last few months of mayhem and they can be assured I will remain independent! It was a complete surprise when she said she wanted to do this for me, and I was gobsmacked.

Hi P&F! :wave:

I'm sorry for my late reply to your latest goings-on, but, paradoxically, I'm glad that I have been.

When I first read what you wrote above, I was stunned that you would be surprised that your mum would be happy to help you if she were (and evidently is) in a position to do so. I was thinking of you and your DD, and how, if in 20 years time she was struggling, that I'm sure you would be happy to help her if you could.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED wrote: »

I saw mum this eve, of course I am v grateful to her for paying for my adaption. That said I have had to find thousands for previous adaptions, and other necessities to do with my disability. Not one have they had to fund, I have done it all. She reiterated once again that such a financial gift will not be available again. I wish she wouldn't keep saying that to me, they make me sound like a taker, and if its one thing I can say here I have always, always been independent of them in that way.

However, this might put a different slant on things. It's hard to tell how someone's friends and family are over the net, but if your mum is normally one of the rub-salt-into-the-wound crowd, then I can see your reticent in asking for anything.

I can also see why you were so annoyed at the idea of selling your house. I mean, perhaps your mum is thinking about how much less hassle it would be for you, but it's still not ideal for you and your aspirations.

I'm sorry that this week is going to be hard for you. Best of luck, and let us know how it goes. Things will get better, even though they are carp right now. Wish I could make them better for you. *Big hugs*

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

moo2moo wrote: »

Came across this and thought of you, I know they're Devon based but they may be able to put you in touch with a similar group of ladies local to you.

Hi Moo 2 Moo, thank you SO much for this. I have looked at the site and emailed a lady called Jessica. I wonder why this site didn't come up when I googled, mind you I googled "disabled in business", not disabled women in business. Anyway, I will let you know what she comes back to me with.

With regard to today, there have been a number of developments which have once again "put me in my place", making me realise I should not be feeling sorry for myself.

1. Took a delivery to a customer this am. She is a lovely lady, retired, and she said to me, come into the lounge dear, I want to show you something. On a window ledge, she had an array of fairy ornaments. Would your daughter like these dear? I know she loves fairies and princess things. I can clean them up and next time you come round, you can take them away for her. Well, I was truely humbled. My dd would love them. I of course said yes and thank you.

2. Did another delivery, the order was for £29. My dear customer - another elderly lady - made the cheque out for £30. Give the £1 to your daughter dear she said. Thank you I said.

I wondered was God trying to tell me something?!

3. Came home after doing the banking, and by the front door were two easter eggs for dd and me from the charity who paid for my stair lift. Well, I had a good cry then!

4. Went to the garage. Today is the day I swapped my car for a new one with the infamous adaption costing £349! Mum phoned them this am to pay by credit card. It turns out I am likely to get a payt of £200 because the car is in good condition. If that proves to be the case, I will give the cash to my mum to do my bit towards it. I can not bear to feel there is a rift between us with all this hoo-ha over money, and what I should be doing with my life. At least she would see that I am not trying to take her money unjustifiably or anything, and Im trying to do my bit.

5. Have phoned Halifax Bank re their new charging structure to make sure I had understood it correctly. By my reckoning I should have been charged today for my OD but nothing had gone through and I wanted to make sure I had understood how it works correctly. Although I hadn't asked for a refund, they are giving me a £35 good will refund because of the confusion!! They offered which is a miracle in itself!

6. Phoned the credit card co to whom I still owe this months payt and they are quite happy for me to pay them after the BH. Half the problem is that with the 4 day easter holiday, my usual delivery I get on fri will not be arriving till next tues, so whilst the payt would have been a couple of days late, with the BH I can not make the payt till next tues. Anyway, they accepted it, have made a note and thats that.

So, after that amazing day, and its not yet 2pm, I am beginning to feel that my guardian angel is saying to me come on Lou, dont give up. You WILL BE OK!

BTW, I am going to write a book. Of course its v early days, but this experience makes me just want to get it all on paper. I have only so far been able to locate one book for disabled people in business by a disabled person. Its called Self Employment Strategies for people with disabilities by Alice Weiss Dotyel who is an American author. Its £19 on Amazon so I am going to make enquiries at the local library to just see what its about. There seems to be no books whatsoever written by anyone in this country.

Better get on!

Verbatim

Wow what a fantastic series of events.

I heard today of a new group being formed by RADAR called radiate. It's aimed at people with disabilities in senior roles in employment. Not sure if it's aimed at self employed people and by senior I think they mean board or director level. But maybe worth a look.

Did you follow up on the benefit aimed at working folk which (Beanie??) mentioned? The one that has replaced incapacity Benefit.

beanielou

Glad to hear all your good news today x

thrifty_fifty

Go You!

You're an inspiration.

Hope you have an equally good rest of the week.

xx

InaPickle

:T YAY! What a good day! And about time, too! :T

I'm so glad to hear that there have been some nice things happening for you at last. It really is enough to make me start thinking that we are being looked after by someone, somwhere.

When you are finished having a good day, please send it over to me - I could do with it! x

moo2moo

There aren't many books on disabled women in business because there aren't many disabled women in business and as you've pointed out many times those disabled people in business tend to have able bodied partners to help them along, being disabled makes them the secondary partner because they allow themselves to be shoehorned into that roles. Many others are more than happy to say I'm disabled, life for me is over. I'll sit in my wheelchair and knit. There are lots and lots and lots of women in business including these ladies with the sort of outlook on life that you have. They all want to achieve and like you they achieve in bucket loads.

Stand up and be rpoud of what you've done and enjoy your Easter Eggs they're a fab surprise but not as nice a surpise as the Halifax being nice for once.

Use the enforced four day Easter hols to do something just for you, you deserve it! and you've most definately earnt it.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

moo2moo wrote: »

There aren't many books on disabled women in business because there aren't many disabled women in business and as you've pointed out many times those disabled people in business tend to have able bodied partners to help them along, being disabled makes them the secondary partner because they allow themselves to be shoehorned into that roles. Many others are more than happy to say I'm disabled, life for me is over. I'll sit in my wheelchair and knit. There are lots and lots and lots of women in business including these ladies with the sort of outlook on life that you have. They all want to achieve and like you they achieve in bucket loads.

Stand up and be rpoud of what you've done and enjoy your Easter Eggs they're a fab surprise but not as nice a surpise as the Halifax being nice for once.

Use the enforced four day Easter hols to do something just for you, you deserve it! and you've most definately earnt it.

Hi Moo2Moo

Thank you for all your links. The one you gave me yesterday, it transpires that folded last year, they still responded to my email and put me in touch with another website which I have emailed this am. It mentions supporting disabled in a part of it, but to me it seems a more general business support network. Will wait to see. Ive also just emailed your link from your post here to enquire about what they offer for someone in my position. Thank you so much. I will let you know how I get on!

I understand totally everything you are saying in this post. It has been suggested to me that I could stop work, go on Incapacity and use my day to do charity work in the day. That of course is an honourable option, however one of my main focuses in life is to be entrepreneural, achieve, and stretch myself as a person and provide a future for my dd and I that gives us security in every way possible. Of course, the irony is that suggestion is from a wellmeaning person who is living their dream, so to suggest I lose mine just because I have a disability is quite ironic!! This period in my life has really highlighted to me that I do not want to give up.

Im very flattered you think Im successful. I do not think so at all. I am just striving to be successful, and currently in truth feel like Im clinging on to the edge of a cliff!!!

Take care Moo2Moo. Thank you so much

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Verbatim wrote: »

Wow what a fantastic series of events.

I heard today of a new group being formed by RADAR called radiate. It's aimed at people with disabilities in senior roles in employment. Not sure if it's aimed at self employed people and by senior I think they mean board or director level. But maybe worth a look.

Did you follow up on the benefit aimed at working folk which (Beanie??) mentioned? The one that has replaced incapacity Benefit.

Hi Verbatim

The benefit query is on my to do list and is still there since a discussion I had with the lady from the charity about it. She is quite familiar with benefits and is 99.9% certain that I would not be allowed to work the hours I do on it even though I would argue what I work in hours is more than what the work would take an able bodied person if you see what I mean, because it takes me longer to do with my disabilities. So I want to confirm that with the Benefit enquiry line, and with the school hols now started I have it to do over the next week or so as I am at home that bit more than usual so dd doesn't have to spend her hols at the holiday club all the time. So I will let you know what they say in due course.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well, just a quick update.

Spoke to mum yesterday about the possibilty I may get £200 from Mobility and said I would give it to her and she said that would be great, or we could split it between us. Nevertheless, her reaction confirmed to me it would be the right thing to do.

Have only been up for an hour. Dd's first day of the school hols. Proves to me I am not an early bird by nature. The plan today is to have a lazy morning for dd to enjoy her first day, we are working together for about 3/4 hours later out and about, and then other work I can do from home. Tomorrow, dd is at mums for the day so I am working all day getting all my books out. Sat will be baking day, am giving cakes etc to family for easter apart from my neices and nephew and dd for whom I have got easter eggs. Sun is a family day at my sis. Mon is a day for relaxing. Then because of the Mon being a BH, I will be working next Sat with dd to catch up. I am planning to try and get away with putting her in the hols club just three times a week if I can, otherwise I feel she just doesn't get an opportunity to just enjoy relaxing at home or playing with her little friends in our road. Always a balancing act isn't it!

On that note, have a good day anyone reading. Onward and upward!