Today is a new day!

mum2one

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED wrote: »

Thank you everyone. Mum to one I do understand about swimming pools. Im not sure if I could get in one now if it didn't have a slope you could walk down. If I could get in it with the ladder steps probably getting out would be a laugh to watch! Yes, dd is certainly a sweetie. She helped me do the ironing this weekend, did a good job aswell! and wash the car amongst other things! She doesn't seem to mind but she told me she enjoyed going for a walk with friends the other day. I said would you like to with me and she said she would worry I might fall over so she would rather not. Thats when I feel pangs of guilt I'm the way I am.

Verbatim, dd's wedding outfit is just gorgeous. In fact I wish I could have a larger size to fit me! Its from BHS, it has pinks and yellows and creams in it. She can just pop it over her head, it flows down, won't crease, is washable, the little white bolero jacket/cardy over the top finishes it off and her little sequin covered pump shoes completes the picture. She feels like a princess in it and it was the excitement and pure joy in her face that made the purchase so worthwhile. In deed, I think we were just as excited as each other! It all cost £45 in total and it was lovely to spend that as all dd's other clothes apart from her underwear is from my friends dd for which I'm eternally grateful. As for me, its been so long since Ive bought myself any clothes, I had never heard of maxi dresses! Dd and I met my cousin and her little dd in the half term and it was a complete revelation to me that these dresses existed. Ive currently ordered one from M and S which has 20% off the price with a view to wearing it to my brothers wedding. 1. Its posh enough, 2. it hides my legs which are scarred from my falling and one leg is thinner than the other and 3. I would get alot of wear out of it in the future, able to dress it up or down. 4. It would detract from my shoes which whilst nice are not exactly wedding material, comfort has to come first!So, Im very excited about that and time will tell as to what my whole outfit will be but I will def be wearing a maxi dress of some kind thats for sure!

Other news, starting to feel more organised. The tv I rented has been collected and my next direct debit with the rental company drops by £21.98. ( I still currently rent my washing machine/dryer as I find it stress free when it goes wrong but there my friend is urging me to consider buying one. I will see what transpires with the last PPI payout due). Without PPI outgoings anymore and this expense I have saved £50 a month and thats before the debt reduction!My new mattress has been on my bed for 2 nights and is just lovely. I've arranged for one of my customers who also runs a n oven cleaning business to clean my oven professionally in a couple of weeks. I'm very excited about that!Also looking into prices for carpet cleaning the downstairs of our home.Just want to get things done I've wanted to do for months if not years! All bills up to date. Have paid more on a couple of credit card bills than I need to. Kl is going well. Have sold £530 in just half a week. Am determined to qualify at the higher bonus this time and I have my first Kl party here at my home next week. Am inviting friends and customers. I'm holding it in the daytime as opposed to eve which will be interesting and I'm looking for honest feedback from anyone who comes to it so I can perfect my style etc.

The thing is I feel this is my chance to keep going, to build on the momentum, and I do not want to lose focus. That said it is lovely to be able to treat ourselves a bit and feel more calm. I look back to just 6 months ago and I think what a difference and how exciting to think I will never owe this much ever again and if I keep my focus the debt will disappear faster than Iever dreamed. Also, I have a book of goals and the PPI payment I've received already has enabled me to fulfill goals I had given myself 3 years to achieve such as being able to afford a new mattress. Yes, I feel very hopeful and that I am not alone. Thank you for all your encouraging words. This site continues to be just a wonderful place to have access to.

dd outfit sounds absolutely beautiful, I so glad that everything is falling into place, and gd luck with the rest of the ppi claim.

ur an inspiration, def agree re maxi dresses, I have a couple and they cover a multiude of sins! xx

InaPickle

Unpleasant as the whole bike situation was, I'm glad you still managed to get everything you needed to get done, done. I'm afraid it only shows that you need to remain as independent as possible, but I am delighted that you have more than managed it...and managed to keep your dignity at the same time.

Well done on the PPI payment. I'm delighted that things are going so well for you financially. I hope that they continue to go from strength to strength and go get that PPI payment PaF: roar like an avenging lion and get your prey!

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

I have found the last few days really heavy going. Feeling v flat, have cried more than usual about dh. The shed needs clearing out and to make way for some of dd's things and I've still got things belonging to dh in there that I just haven't felt able to move yet and that time has arrived! There IS so much to be positive about and thank ful for I say to myself. Come on, stop this I say to myself...
The weekend was nice yet tiring. When I'm tired everything else seems worse and dd seems to be more misbehaved or I feel as if I'm forever clearing up after her when all I want to do is sit down and have a cuppa! Mowed the garden on Sunday, that was probably it. Lovely in the fresh air but I was just tired afterwards. Dd trimmed the edges and then started the ironing for me - at just 9years old she did a great job - while I put the supper on. We both had an early night! Then mum, well my aunt emailed me and has suggested that mum is waiting for me to apologise to her, for what I wonder! I've already told her and dad I love them but all the while I can I intend to work my business and keep this house. Why is that such a crime in this family? I love my aunt to bits and we will be seeing her and my uncle in July when they are flying over - they live abroad - to attend my great aunts 90th birthday.
Anyway, moving on the wedding is this Friday. I have to say dd and I are looking forward to that. Dd will look absolutely gorgeous, me well I suppose I'm a bit quirky anyway but I think I look nice and I feel good in what I'm wearing. I have treated myself to a hat from BHS for £25, feel v extravagant but I know I would wear it again as much as poss, my aunts 90th for a start. Oh I feel lovely in it, then one of my customers told me its protocol to have matching shoes and bag. Well, I haven't! My dress has a number of colours in it so my accessories are the same, an assortment of colour!!The most important people of course are my brother and his fiancee on the day, not me or anyone else!. Then its only on Easter Monday that we go to Newcastle so I am v busy with work, planning how to get things done and sorted etc. It will all work out! My new team member is just lovely, she is a customerof mine and so I knew her anyway, nevertheless I'm thrilled she's joined. I am doing a party at hers too afer the school hols so its all systems go.
My newsletter has resulted in the most lovely responses from customers. Some have even bothered to give me cards saying well done etc and thank you to me!. It has moved me to tears literally as it makesme think, yes Lou come on grl, you are doing the right thing, you can do this, it will all work out. Don't worry about the family etc etc etc...
Thats me for now, better get on with some work!

InaPickle

That's the spirit, PaF!

As for DH's things in the shed, if you really have no option but to get rid of them, I think DH would be delighted that his things would be making room for DD's things, and I daresay he would think it the normal order of things. Perhaps looking at it from that angle might make it a bit easier.

As for the wedding...have a blast! :j I'm sure both you and DD will look beautiful (I sooo want to see a picture, but obviously can't! ). We await a full report of how DD ate all the buffet and how you got up on the table after a few too many wines and started making a show of yourself! :rotfl: :T

And be kind to yourself...you are doing brilliantly, but it's not easy. Go to bed early as many times as necessary.

P.S. I'm not sure why you should apologise to your mum, either, but since when has that ever stopped them?! :rotfl:

beanielou

Have a happy happy wedding

Keeping_Motivated

That's the thing about bereavement that I find the hardest because its normal to keep crying and feeling it years on for some people...'normal' doesn't equal easy though so I understand its hard to battle on when those waves of saddness/grief hit you.

I will post a link below that shows a diagram of grief from one persons perspective and I think it really sums up things for you...your grief doesn't get smaller is stays the same size but your new life grows around it.

Be kind and understanding to yourself when these waves hit you x

http://www.bereavement-trust.org.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=12&Itemid=13

Jo4

I hope you and your DD really enjoy the wedding and have a nice day!

taxi73

Have a fantastic time at the wedding..it'll do you and DD a world of good to have some fun time

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Thank you everyone. yes, todays the day. We were going to have a ly in but mum phoned at 7.30 and basicaly the sound of the phone woke us up. Mum and dad offered to pick us up at 1pm in the text she sent subsequently.. Well, Ive said thank you but we are all sorted and we will see you there. We got the car sorted yesterday, the petrol, and anyway what would we say in the car. dad in particular hasn't spoken to me apart from telling me to collect dd's bike from their house since Xmas eve when we popped round with some Xmas goodies. And we haven't seen each other for longer than 2 minutes since then so the last thing I want to do is be in a car with them, trapped in case they start on at me and without the freedom to stay as long as we want at the reception... I think they want to keep up appearances and show we are a happy family. I have no intention of causing any problems today but I am not going to play that "game". I am going to be very happy for my brother and his new wife and just enjoy the day with dd.

Other news, have updated my signature. Nearly £25K paid off of which approx £9500 this year thanks to the PPI payout, still holding out for more. 12 weeks is up on the 23rd April!

Off and away to treat ourselves to a cooked brekkie so we last the course to the reception!!!

mum2one

http://www.bereavement-trust.org.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=12&Itemid=13[/QUOTE]

thank you for that link, never a truer word said, yesterday was the anniversary of my mum losing her 1st daughter, - 43 yrs, but as she said a day never goes by and she says theres triggers, but the diagram is so spot on. xx