Today is a new day!

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Thank you everyone. Mum to one I do understand about swimming pools. Im not sure if I could get in one now if it didn't have a slope you could walk down. If I could get in it with the ladder steps probably getting out would be a laugh to watch! Yes, dd is certainly a sweetie. She helped me do the ironing this weekend, did a good job aswell! and wash the car amongst other things! She doesn't seem to mind but she told me she enjoyed going for a walk with friends the other day. I said would you like to with me and she said she would worry I might fall over so she would rather not. Thats when I feel pangs of guilt I'm the way I am.

Verbatim, dd's wedding outfit is just gorgeous. In fact I wish I could have a larger size to fit me! Its from BHS, it has pinks and yellows and creams in it. She can just pop it over her head, it flows down, won't crease, is washable, the little white bolero jacket/cardy over the top finishes it off and her little sequin covered pump shoes completes the picture. She feels like a princess in it and it was the excitement and pure joy in her face that made the purchase so worthwhile. In deed, I think we were just as excited as each other! It all cost £45 in total and it was lovely to spend that as all dd's other clothes apart from her underwear is from my friends dd for which I'm eternally grateful. As for me, its been so long since Ive bought myself any clothes, I had never heard of maxi dresses! Dd and I met my cousin and her little dd in the half term and it was a complete revelation to me that these dresses existed. Ive currently ordered one from M and S which has 20% off the price with a view to wearing it to my brothers wedding. 1. Its posh enough, 2. it hides my legs which are scarred from my falling and one leg is thinner than the other and 3. I would get alot of wear out of it in the future, able to dress it up or down. 4. It would detract from my shoes which whilst nice are not exactly wedding material, comfort has to come first!So, Im very excited about that and time will tell as to what my whole outfit will be but I will def be wearing a maxi dress of some kind thats for sure!

Other news, starting to feel more organised. The tv I rented has been collected and my next direct debit with the rental company drops by £21.98. ( I still currently rent my washing machine/dryer as I find it stress free when it goes wrong but there my friend is urging me to consider buying one. I will see what transpires with the last PPI payout due). Without PPI outgoings anymore and this expense I have saved £50 a month and thats before the debt reduction!My new mattress has been on my bed for 2 nights and is just lovely. I've arranged for one of my customers who also runs a n oven cleaning business to clean my oven professionally in a couple of weeks. I'm very excited about that!Also looking into prices for carpet cleaning the downstairs of our home.Just want to get things done I've wanted to do for months if not years! All bills up to date. Have paid more on a couple of credit card bills than I need to. Kl is going well. Have sold £530 in just half a week. Am determined to qualify at the higher bonus this time and I have my first Kl party here at my home next week. Am inviting friends and customers. I'm holding it in the daytime as opposed to eve which will be interesting and I'm looking for honest feedback from anyone who comes to it so I can perfect my style etc.

The thing is I feel this is my chance to keep going, to build on the momentum, and I do not want to lose focus. That said it is lovely to be able to treat ourselves a bit and feel more calm. I look back to just 6 months ago and I think what a difference and how exciting to think I will never owe this much ever again and if I keep my focus the debt will disappear faster than Iever dreamed. Also, I have a book of goals and the PPI payment I've received already has enabled me to fulfill goals I had given myself 3 years to achieve such as being able to afford a new mattress. Yes, I feel very hopeful and that I am not alone. Thank you for all your encouraging words. This site continues to be just a wonderful place to have access to.

mum2one

Your dds outfit sounds absolutely lovely, I had a tear in my eye just reading it, I'm a soppy sod.
The changes and the positivitey just absolutely glow, its great to hear everything is going so well for you.
Good for you treating yourself to a maxi dress, I love my longer dresses they cover a multitide of sins.
Re washing machine, - just thinking aloud, but what if you carried on putting the TV money by for a few months, as you can get a washing machine from Argos, for around £200, you can pay a bit extra for them to fit it and take your other one away. I don't know how much your paying at the mo. Then maybe over a yr put £300 up in a spare account, as the washing machine will be covered for 12 months, and for us, our washing machine is on usually twice a day, and we get at least 3 yrs from a machine.

The idea of a day party sounds a really good idea, you know your target market, your friends + exisiting customers you could ask for honest feedback, and that way your in your home house, so your be more relaxed, and even if takes an extra hour to get items set out you can plan around.

DD - I know I have said before she is one in a million, ok your like me, I'd love the walk, theres a lot I can't do, but there is a lot you can do, I bet theres many children that would love the curl up with a dvd. xx

Verbatim

I bet she looks lovely in her gorgeous new outfit. And you will too I'm sure.

How great to have been able to gain on yourself, iyswim, getting your goals achieved so much sooner than hoped. Good luck with the bonus and the party. I'm sure the party will go well!

beanielou

All sounding good.
My thoughts on WM are to put the money you would have paid for TV away and in say 10 months you can buy a WM & then continue to put the WM money away in an emmergency fund.
JUst a thought.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Thank you for your suggestions with regard to the washing machine. The idea of putting the tv money away is a good one and would be easy to implement. Will keep you posted on progress!

Well, today collected my maxi dress ordered over the internet from m and s. My friend came into town withm e and gave me her verdict. Well, its lovely on and so its currently upstairs on a hanger for me to look at everytime I pass by ! Am well chuffed with it.

Issues with my mum are looking to rear up again. With funding the National Victims assoc received we have been offered the chance forcounselling and whilst I recently had the opportunity under the doc this is also very very helpful, and basically dd has 15 hours for her we can use as do I. The lady is planning to do art therapy and dd wants to do it so it starts next week. Unfortunately, it clashes with one of the days mum and dad have dd each week and so I did a note explaining and detailing the dates that have so far been booked. I thought texting would be too longwinded and phoning, well mum and I haven't phoned each other for years not with texting and certainly not in recent months since everything that she and dad have said So, last eve on sorting out dd's school bag, there was a note back from mum, saying how she had looked up some old family photos of happier times and how it feels that they mean absolutely nothing now and how I should phone her and she hates my note etc etc. I just am not going to be drawn into it. Plus, mum gets dd involved based on the things dd tellsme and I find that v difficult to deal with. So, anyway, I am going to leave things, not respond to mum's note to me. I was always nervous about telling mum about the counselling opportunity in light of how she does not disagree with dad that "I make an industry out of dh murder". The fact that it is ongoingly a very real situation for us, and particularly for dd as she becomes older and still with the release of the murderer to deal with in the next 4 years seems not to register. They presumably would disapprove however I communicated the situation to them so I was going to be in a no win situation. Don't get me wrong I am eternally grateful to my parents for all the "fighting" they did for me as I grew up. making sure I got the best healthcare etc but I still have a right to thelife I want to lead and it goes both ways doesn't it? I've never blamed them, and Ive always been appreciative, I've always tried to be independent and I like to think of myself as having been a supportive and helpful dd to them in times gone by. They may think the last "25 years of my life have been dreadful" but I happen to disagree! I'd like to think I am doing really well all things considered and any issues have to stay as theirs. The thing I need to learn is forgiveness and at the moment I acknowledge I still feel very angry towards my parents for the way they have been and situations like this highlight that only too well! An area I definately need to work on ....
Onwards and upwards, am now getting paperwork sorted and my newsletter to customers finalised at last..Be proactive and positive!

beanielou

Grrrrrrrr.
Is all.

mum2one

sounds like mum feels like she is being pushed out, even thou thats far from the case, it sounds like she knows what buttons to push and will use them to her advantage.
At least you gave her the dates re DD, its only a short term thing, its not as thou there missing out on years of your dd's life.

Remember your doing brilliantly.

taxi73

Am so pleased that you and DD both have lovely outfits for the wedding and that you've got a new comfy mattress.I agree with the others about putting the money away for a WM.Great about DD getting counselling and your Mums problem is her problem..you are doing great

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Thanks for your views on the wm. Will get that into place! So, all quiet on the issue of counselling for dd since my last entry. Dd starts this this afternoon. I'm working solidly from about 10am until I collect her at 3 and then we are home. The appointment is at 4 and she wants me with her which of course I will be. I have my first party tomorrow - here at home - so need to finalise a few bits for that this evening..

So, the wedding shopping has made me realise just how out of sorts I am with spending money! I have sorted my brothers wedding present. But Im returning a clutch bag I treated myself to and a hat from BHS. I love both but with the dress I'm not sure about the colour and so if I'm not sure that's it, back they go!I am thinking I'll treat myself to a fascinator which was my PLan A anyway, I just got ahead of myself in the heat of the moment choosing a hat instead!I'm also thinking that way my dd will get wear out of the fascinator too as she gets older so it won't be money down the drain! I've found a nice smart "cardy" from Asda for £10 which compliments my dress very well and is something I would get a lot of wear out of afterwards. One thing I am treating myself to is a manicure the day before. Its completely indulgent, dd has offered to paint my nails bless her but I just fancied it being done professionally. It's a one off!

So, on the money front am pleased to say I have paid two credit card bills - min payts - two weeks ahead of when they are due simply because I could. I need to update my signature. There is just one card - JJB - which is virtually paid off all bar £4 approx and I haven't yet had an up to date statement from them. Sainsburys I paid by faster payment forgetting that they take a direct debit out so they've been paid twice effectively so in advertantly I am doing some snowballing!But the plan is to start my snowballing seriously after the Easter school holidays. By then I'm hopeful I will have received the final PPI amount owing or at least know what I will get and it will be downhill from there... KM if you are out there , re applying for 0% interest cards. I am hopeful that actually won't be necessary in that after the next PPI payout of which I am hopeful of getting somewhere between £3k and £5k I should only have credit card debt where I will be paying 5% for the life of the debt as an example and I would prefer that. MBNA I have secured a 9% rate for the life of the debt with them. Anyway, time will tell, will wait to see how things go...

mum2one

Thats sounding really positive, glad things are finally getting sorted, DD starts with the red cross this week for her monthly meetings, then shes got a day out with them as well this month, the break do her the world of good.

A massive thank you for your help with all that. xx