Hubby and I unemployed and now im Pregnant AND Depressed.. HELP!!

Pigeongirl

Hope you don't think I was having a go Brokenhearted, just trying to be funny

I agree that the OP could get a job when the baby is born but it's not always as easy as that. There's childcare fees for a start and if the OP is breastfeeding that can be a tricky situation - expressing milk is all good in theory but babies don't always accept a bottle.

Also, the OP may want to be a stay at home mum. It's something that is not given enough credit in today's 'have it all' society but it often means compromising on luxuries.

It's a tricky one - there are compromises to be made either way.

black-saturn

Broken_hearted wrote:

Ok badly worded but the mother can get a job. No-one needs to rely on a man to support them.

Bes thing anyones said all day :T I went to all my antenatal appointments alone and went through 2 labours on my own.

beer2006

black-saturn wrote:

Bes thing anyones said all day :T I went to all my antenatal appointments alone and went through 2 labours on my own.

Blimey whats this, the men hating club?

I don't think anyone will say that women can't do it alone, but I think you might finds its easier having back up.

chivers1977

I think that the OP said that she is ill with the pregnancy so that is why she needs her partner to go with her.

MrsTinks

Bestthingsinlifearefree wrote:

Tine with your attitude I dont think I would want to work for you and if you are so great at employing people and your husband is in such a high powered management position then why are you so in debt ????

If you won't employ people because they have tried to have a go at their own business then maybe if I was going to employ people I would not employ you because of your bad financial judgement. Maybe this makes you unreliable in decision making ?


I think if you exclude people or look down on people who have tried to be self employed or had a gap in their employment / work history you are missing out on a lot of talent.

If some one has had a gap due to trying to set up their own business I would admire them for going for it not exclude them.

People have gaps in their work history for all sorts of often valid reasons and to hold this against them or to use it as a reason to exclude then for a job shows a lack of recruitement experience on your part.

Sorry to be personal but you took the conversation that way and some one had to knock you of your high moral horse.

Firstly Appologies to OP for digressing, Best thingsinlifearefree I'll start anew thread re this so as to minimise the digression from the OPs issues

SamMoffatt28

Dear Queen P,
Firstly,things will be ok! I know it seems hard right now and with all of those pregnancy hormones flying around inside you it makes it feel worse. I know I've been there 4 times!
You mention that you are ill? I suspect that your illness is not due to your pregnancy from what you have written in your post. I wonder if you may be entitled to disability living allowance (DLA) or incapacity benefit if you have a serious illness or disability that affects your ability to work. Also there is income support if you are not entitled to JSA. You should be entitled to 100% council tax benefit because neither you or your husband are working and you may be able to get housing benefit or the interest on your mortgage paid. You can claim a maternity grant of £500 if you can get any of the benefits above. This is available from week 29 of your pregnancy and will help you with the cost of buying things for your newborn (cot, pram etc) The great thing is you do not have to pay it back. Once the baby arrives you will be entitled to child benefit (17.45 per week) and you may also be entitled to child tax credit.

The best people to get advice from are either citizens advice bureau or welfare rights. They know all of the benefits available and how much you can claim. And of course your local DSS / jobcentre should go through everything with you and help you with what you are entitled to and how to claim.

I hope this helps, I really wish you well.
Take care and try to rest for the sake of you and your baby. Things will be ok.

Spendless

Queen_P wrote:

I had my last contract in November and have since failed to find another job, Hubby lost his job in January and not able to find another either.


IBenefits - £67

Total - £67


Council Tax - £1300 Twice Yearly

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage is £977 (on hold for 6 months as of March)


We are going to the JobCentre tomorrow as an appointment was booked weeks ago, I now wont be able to get jobseekers allowance as ive got a sick note not to be working.

I dont know what to do I really need help

Have you been to a benefits advice office or CAB? Is your hubby claiming JSA contribution based? If he is can you claim incapacity benefit as well. As already mentioned you might be able to get help with council tax and mortgage (though mortgage is only after so long depending on when it was taken out).

When is baby due? Once baby is born working tax credits can kick in as long as one of you is working at least 16 hours. To get help with childcare costs which can be upto 80% of costs you both need to work at least 16 hours. Not every nursery is full it depends what area your are in .

All the best

sanfrancisco

SamMoffatt28 wrote:

Dear Queen P,
Firstly,things will be ok! I know it seems hard right now and with all of those pregnancy hormones flying around inside you it makes it feel worse. I know I've been there 4 times!
You mention that you are ill? I suspect that your illness is not due to your pregnancy from what you have written in your post. I wonder if you may be entitled to disability living allowance (DLA) or incapacity benefit if you have a serious illness or disability that affects your ability to work. Also there is income support if you are not entitled to JSA. You should be entitled to 100% council tax benefit because neither you or your husband are working and you may be able to get housing benefit or the interest on your mortgage paid. You can claim a maternity grant of £500 if you can get any of the benefits above. This is available from week 29 of your pregnancy and will help you with the cost of buying things for your newborn (cot, pram etc) The great thing is you do not have to pay it back. Once the baby arrives you will be entitled to child benefit (17.45 per week) and you may also be entitled to child tax credit.

The best people to get advice from are either citizens advice bureau or welfare rights. They know all of the benefits available and how much you can claim. And of course your local DSS / jobcentre should go through everything with you and help you with what you are entitled to and how to claim.

I hope this helps, I really wish you well.
Take care and try to rest for the sake of you and your baby. Things will be ok.

Great post Sam. Very helpful.

stardust2000_uk

Hi Queen P,

I agree that whilst running your own business can be very rewarding it is also v. stressful especially if you have debts overhanging and your OH will find it very hard to get capital for the company.

Has he thought of doing temp work? I'm a student and do it over the summer, it is pretty well paid if you've got experience in an office which I assume he does and obviously has good IT skills. Because you work for the agency and not the company directly, you are still entitled to paid holiday and I assume paternity leave. Jobs can last a couple of weeks to 6 months and can often lead to permenant employment allowing you to get new references for other jobs as well.

Hope this helps, it should give him access to loads more jobs than if he goes round dropping CVs in shops and is probably a bit more like what he was doing before. I know its not what he wants to do in the long run but the main thing here is looking after you and the baby and getting money in to pay off debts before it arrives.

Queen_P_2

Hi Everyone,

Firstly Thankyou immensley(sp?) for all your great replies....

We went to the Jobcentre today and Hubby has been put on the road for JSA and council tax and mortgage help. Im not entitled as Im pregnant and ill so I am entitled to other benefits, probably Incapacity benefit and Income Support.

Also had a few more calls from agencies (hubby is signed up with loads) so hopefully he wont be on JSA for long.

Im still very early into my pregnancy but everyday counts.. and today was one bad one.

We will be looking at out monthly outgoings again and taking out what we really dont need and cutting down what is costing lots for no reason.

As someone said on here "we are living the life of middle class people" yes we are cos its exactly what we were a couple of months ago and yes reality hits us and i get what u all say about being drastic but its hard going... but we will do it..