Hubby and I unemployed and now im Pregnant AND Depressed.. HELP!!

Callisto

tine wrote:

Dossing around at home as self employed I'm afraid would NOT impress me.

I find the above comment rather rude! I am setting up as self employed, nice to hear that people such as yourself believe I will be *dossing* :rolleyes: If I don't do any work, then I won't get paid, so where I am going to fit a doss into my day??

QueenP, there is definitely work available in mending computers. My uncle fixes PC's in his spare time (he has a full time job too). There are plenty of people out there who just don't have a clue about looking after their computer. I would do as others have said on this thread and put up cards offering this service.

As I said before, I'm starting a business for next to nothing... it can be done! Definitely contact your local Business Link for advice, there are also grants/loans available if you search on the internet. Business plan software can also be obtained... I got a free CD from the Bank of Scotland (I think) and I know Barclays will send out a free business start up pack.

Hope your pregnancy goes well and good luck with the business!

Pigeongirl

Broken_hearted wrote:

There is nothing stopping you getting a job after the baby is born.

Except perhaps the extortionate cost of childcare?

linniestorm

Sorry to hear your troubles. I know its hard to stop worrying once you've started(!) but hopefully some of the advice you've had already will minimise that so you can keep yourself and your little 'un healthy.

If your husband has been having trouble getting a permanent job, has he considered contract work? I'm in IT recruitment, although I do perm now, I recently moved from a company that did contract work and companies always seem to be taking on contractors (its a good way to fill in skills missing in perm people in the short term). If he's got a good skillset and a half way solid work history, he should be able to get something in the contract vein, though its likely to be 3-6 months or something like that. If you live somewhere out of the way, if he's prepared in the short term to consider a bit of travel and/or staying away during the week, his chances are even better.

Though that sounds like more outlay, contractors tend to be paid very well for what they do! (when I used to work in contract standard rates for 1st line/ desktop support went from around £10 per hour upward ) And even if its just three months work, it keeps his work history going, lets him look for another job, and brings some money in which may take the pressure off short term, or there might even be contract to perm opportunities. He might not even have to think about staying away, depending on where you live. Where I used to work there were loads of contract roles for 1st link/desktop support roles. If you wanted to pm me I could probably dig out the email address of one the guys I used to work with that had a lot of that stuff, but to be honest, if he fired off his CV to any local IT recruitment place, or all the national ones they are bound to have something they could talk to him about in your area, and he could make a decision about whether its something he's interested in from there.

All the best for the future!

climbgirl

beer2006 wrote:

Right last thing I'm going to say on this subject.
I've actually done it, not just read about it, so I know where I'm coming from.
Running my own business for 5 years.

He can start it for very little money, it doesn't require massive amounts of research or effort, no more than doing an everyday job, with a little bit more.
I'm guessing he doesn't need to research his market because he is already in the industry.

Not everyone is cut out to run their own business!!

You're right, it's not an easy thing to run your own business and not everybody is cut out for it! That's all I'm really trying to caution against, that it's not an easy road.

You need to know your market and if your numbers are going to stack up - not something that will necessarily come from just doing your everyday job, but that will require time and effort to figure out. Something that a person doesn't really have the luxury of when both members of the family are unemployed and you have £67 coming in a month.

The posts on this site about people being in debt from failed start-ups are increasing all the time. And although I've never started my own business, I worked for a company involved in giving business start-up grants, so I'm not completely clueless!

Not trying to put people off, it sounds like it's worked well for you! But in this situation, it seems foolhardy.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Queen_P wrote:

Yes its our First. I so didnt expect to be feeling so down about it though as we really wanted a baby..

I just feel useless that Im ill and need support going to appointments etc which only my hubby can provide as none of the family know, those that do arent able to take the time off.

HIiKingshir,

Maybe you missed this part of Queens P post "WE REALLY WANTED A BABY"

Now back to the main point.

Hi QueenP,

I think both you and your hubby need to support each other as best you can.stay strong together and get all support you can from friends,family, us at MSE, doctors etc.

The main reasons you say your OH does not want to get a job.
1)because you have wanted to set up a business.
2)so he can go to appointments with you.

Now might not be the best time to set up a business because it is stressful,and often takes time months / years to get a real return / income (and you can still do it in the future).

I think if he could get a permanent job most companies will allow time off for hospital visits or he could use holiday leave.

It sounds like he has good skills but maybe just needs a bit of support.

I think number one priority if he can is to get a job, get cash coming in and he could still work on business ideas for the future in the evenings / weekends.

Keep positive. Take care of yourself.

I wish you well.

MrsTinks

Callisto wrote:

I find the above comment rather rude! I am setting up as self employed, nice to hear that people such as yourself believe I will be *dossing* :rolleyes: If I don't do any work, then I won't get paid, so where I am going to fit a doss into my day??

If you were successful working at home then why would you need to apply for a job working for me? If you weren't successful working from home then why don't you have a part time job? If you are selfemployed then chances are I have no recent employers to ask for a reference either so I WOULD ask a lot of questions. Maybe other employers wouldn't but I take great pride in picking the right people with an attitude to get the job done when I recruit
Find the comment as rude as you like but be aware that unless you DO work very hard and have something to show for it then chances are that it could count against you later on... unfair? Maybe... but bear it in mind none the less. Any break in employment that does not have a good excuse will cause me at least to wonder if you are likely to be off again when you get a new idea or whatever, and if you leave then I have wasted my time and money hiring you so you would instantly be less likely to get the job over someone with equal skills and "a good work record"

Bestthingsinlifearefree

tine wrote:

If you were successful working at home then why would you need to apply for a job working for me? If you weren't successful working from home then why don't you have a part time job? If you are selfemployed then chances are I have no recent employers to ask for a reference either so I WOULD ask a lot of questions. Maybe other employers wouldn't but I take great pride in picking the right people with an attitude to get the job done when I recruit
Find the comment as rude as you like but be aware that unless you DO work very hard and have something to show for it then chances are that it could count against you later on... unfair? Maybe... but bear it in mind none the less. Any break in employment that does not have a good excuse will cause me at least to wonder if you are likely to be off again when you get a new idea or whatever, and if you leave then I have wasted my time and money hiring you so you would instantly be less likely to get the job over someone with equal skills and "a good work record"

Tine with your attitude I dont think I would want to work for you and if you are so great at employing people and your husband is in such a high powered management position then why are you so in debt ????

If you won't employ people because they have tried to have a go at their own business then maybe if I was going to employ people I would not employ you because of your bad financial judgement. Maybe this makes you unreliable in decision making ?


I think if you exclude people or look down on people who have tried to be self employed or had a gap in their employment / work history you are missing out on a lot of talent.

If some one has had a gap due to trying to set up their own business I would admire them for going for it not exclude them.

People have gaps in their work history for all sorts of often valid reasons and to hold this against them or to use it as a reason to exclude then for a job shows a lack of recruitement experience on your part.

Sorry to be personal but you took the conversation that way and some one had to knock you of your high moral horse.

livilou

hi there,
my hubby went it alone when I was a month away from having our second child, and it turned out to be very stressful. Your hubby obviously has a skill that he isn't going to lose and your main focus needs to be baby and paying the bills and keeping well so if I was in your shoes I think I would suggest hubby goes and finds a job doing whatever it isn't a time to be proud, there i splenty of work out there, something that will pay the bills, and maybe do his computer business part time for extra money a nd build up from there.

In reality I think most people would like to work from home and be their own boss and good on your hubby for wanting that but maybe the time isn't quite right to just go it completely alone.

good luck
x

nicola1982_2

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage is £977 (on hold for 6 months as of March)
Gas - £39
Electric - £51.00
TV License - £10.99
Sky £21.00
Phone - £18.00
Food - £120
ADSL: £29.99
Car Insurance - £80.00
Car Finance: £395.00
MIP's (Maximum Investment Plan) - £500
Petrol - £100

Total: £1,365.97 without Mortgage


Firstly I agree with everyone who says for a couple your gas and electric are way too high. I'm on a prepay meter and we spend only £25 per month, little things like remembering to switch off the TV rather than use standby, making sure you turn off lights when you aren't in the room, using economy bulbs etc. If you are unemployed then you need to differentiate between needs and wants, Sky TV is not a need cancel it, broadband isn't a need - cancel it, financed cars aren't a need - I'm unemployed and we have one second hand L reg Peugeot, insurance comes to £210 per year.

Your expenses resemble those of a middle class couple and this is without any form of social life. I will give you my monthly expenses. We live off just under £900 per month between us (my partner's income).

Rent - £400
C/tax - £100
Gas - £25
Elec - £25
TV/Broadband/Phone - £32
Food - £65
Petrol - £40
Bus (His) - £36
TV Licence - £11
Debt - £50
Child Maintenance - £100

We then have car insurance, tax, and my debt repayments coming out of my student loan. I also believe that if we had a lower income we would get rid of the TV/Broadband/Telephone package, my car and even the TV if we had to.

I'm sorry if I'm somewhat blunt in my post, I just feel that there are many places you could clearly cut down.

PS - good luck with the baby, children are a wonderful thing to have - check out Money Saving Old Style for plenty of ideas about having a child on a budget

lynzpower

come on guys, theres no need for any muslinging it certainly wont be helping the OP!! STOP IT RIGHT NOW *claps hands in school ma'am fashion*

running your own business as everyone agrees is hard work, even harder to make a success of it. I reckon for anyone in "desperate times" in convering the basics, setting up a brand new full time business is going to a) be a struggle and b) may well fail as most businesses do.

Getting an actual job, no matter how badly paid is pretty much guaranteed income and this is what all us DFWs want/need. Additionally, I believe that a clear head and business nouse is needed when setting up a new business and this is difficult to achieve when you have problem debts hanging about over your head.

Lynz
x