Advice re Stepson

hollydays

gilly,i am beginning to think your attitude is what is causing the problem.

twink

hollydays wrote:

gilly,i am beginning to think your attitude is what is causing the problem.

thats what i was thinking but not brave enough to say it

gilly41

Thats fine ---you are entitled to your opinions---thats the reason I asked the original question.
I have decided to take some advice and keep out of it all. I am going to leave it up to OH to make arrangements with his son. I have always sorted it out as OH doesnt have a mobile(he has never wanted one)--but from now on I will take a back seat and see what happens.

gilly41

I meant to add that I have never stopped OH seeing his son----if I hadnt made any contact I doubt OH would have! It seems as if you are implying I have somehow stopped him seeing his son---this could not be further from the truth.

Spendless

gilly41 wrote:

I meant to add that I have never stopped OH seeing his son----if I hadnt made any contact I doubt OH would have! It seems as if you are implying I have somehow stopped him seeing his son---this could not be further from the truth.

I most certainly haven't read any of your posts as you stopping OH seeing his son. What does come across (to me at least) is that you are wanting quite a lot from stepson remember xmas cards,(males can be like this maybe not your own kids but none of my in-laws used to get anything off my hubby till he met me-it didn't mean he didn't care it just wasn't important to him) make effort to remain in contact, call you but not putting the same effort in in return (don't want to change your phone tarriff).

hollydays

i am getting the impression you resent him.

twink

gilly41 wrote:

Thats fine ---you are entitled to your opinions---thats the reason I asked the original question.
I have decided to take some advice and keep out of it all. I am going to leave it up to OH to make arrangements with his son. I have always sorted it out as OH doesnt have a mobile(he has never wanted one)--but from now on I will take a back seat and see what happens.

i think that is probably right, you certainly mean well, but i am sure the lad has enough with his mother being controlling and he is maybe frightened you will be too, although i am sure you wouldnt be, probably best for him and his dad to sort it out

Trow

Trow wrote:

My advice for what its worth - let the kid see his dad, let your OH see his son and don't get into the middle of it until some of the distance has gone and any healing that is needed (from both sides) is well under way

Hi gilly41 - if this section from my post is the bit that makes you think someone is implying that you are not letting them see each other - then I am afraid I have worded it badly. The emphasis should be on the fact that I think you should let them meet without getting involved in the process.

I apologise if it has read otherwise.

gilly41

If I resented him Hollydays would I have bothered to keep in touch? Would I have bothered asking for advice?
I do mean well but I have decided to take a back seat. It is now up to my OH and his son to sort out their relationship.

BungleGirl

When my parents split up my sister and my dad lost touch. They still lived in the same town but neither would ring the other i.e. they know where I am, they haven't called me...

Then my dad had a heart attack and on a 100 mile taxi journey to the hospital I was in tears ringing my sister asking her if I could tell him she loved him before he died. She came to the hospital and saw him before he died and was obviously devestated. I know that she regrets falling out with him over such petty stupid things.

Life is too short...