Partner pawned my dead nans ring without my permission

skylight

I think that the text sounds great. You are giving him an opportunity to sort himself out rather than just boot him out.

I hope it works out. But give yourself a cut-off point. You need to decide at what point you will say that enough is enough or you could end up wasting your life.

[Deleted User]

that's a mature way of dealing with it dotstar24, but if he doesn't stop smoking cannabis you should think about whether you will be happy to care for him if/when he develops Multiple Sclerosis in later life. Too many addicts think they can use illegal drugs such as cannabis regularly and not face the consequences. Where does he smoke it? I hope not in the house with you being pregnant and another young child. someone needs to have a serious sit-down with him because it sounds like he's 12, not in his 30s.

kudos on trying to patch things up though, i know many people who would have simply walked out. wish you all the best and hope things work out for you.

davetrousers

Can you go to the pawn shop with the receipt? How old is it?

[Deleted User]

dotstar24 wrote: »

well as the title says, yesterday i found out my so called fiance pawned my dead nans engagement ring last year, for the princly sum of £29. at the time i thought i'd lost it. i hunted high and low for it, he even helped!!
last July a letter came through from the pawn shop saying item number ..... would be sold at auction it not redeemed in 7 days. at this point i became suspisious. i questioned him and he said he'd pawn his grandads soveriegn ring (i've never seen this) i called the shop but the lady could help.she said without the receipt she couldnt talk to me. I knew he was lying but i had no proof. until yesterday.

i was cleaning out our 'junk draw' and i saw a piece of paper folded into the tiniest square at the back of the drawer. it was made out in my partners name and described the ring '18ct gold non hallmarked diamond cluster ring' (my nans ring!!!!). again he denied it said he had no idea what ring it was and that he couldnt remember.

today i spoke to him again said i wouldn't get angry, and i wouldnt leave him, but that i wanted the truth, he said he did do it but lost the slip to redeem the item. if he'd have told me last year we could have looked for it. i got a half a ssed sorry and he stormed off. we've hardly spoken since i got back from work. i cant bear to look at him. we have a 3 yr old son and i'm 7 weeks pregnant so it's very complicated. i also called the pawn shop. she said there would be no way of tracing it

I also am very sure he pawned it to buy cannabis (and i dont care who says it isn't hes totally addicted).

help am heartbroken, scared and confused. what should i do. he wont talk to me.

Not sure exactly why you aint kicked him out yet?

How long before he starts selling things like the TV to fund his drugs?

Or runs up huge debts? Dump the loser...

Dinah93

This man is the model you are presenting to your kids for what a man should be like. Its not just you you need to think of here.

My ex was very into his weed. He even stole my kid brothers ipod when we went to my parents house, but I had no proof for over a year, and so I couldn't believe it was true. This man is just as scummy, he lied to you, knowingly and repeatedly, and I have no idea where you go with a relationship without trust.

dotstar24

davetrousers wrote: »

Can you go to the pawn shop with the receipt? How old is it?

the time to go and get the item expired last July. the lad at the pawn shop said all unclaimed items get sold at auction. so its long gone. : ( i cant believe this is happening to me.

dotstar24

[quote=[Deleted User];22805689]Not sure exactly why you aint kicked him out yet?

How long before he starts selling things like the TV to fund his drugs?

Or runs up huge debts? Dump the loser...[/QUOTE]
i dont know why paul. lol...and the TV would be the last thing he's sell....my nanas ring though....you get the picture.

thanks all again. it is easy to say just ditch him but we've been together 6 years and have a DS with another child on the way. i'm not going to throw the towel in yet on a whim.

Dinah93

It's not a whim though, he has no respect for you, no sense of decency and is a druggie! I'd think the fact you have kids should make it even more important to get him out. I'm a Christian, and believe strongly in family values. But they have to be the right ones - theft and drugs are something I would want my kids as far away from as possible.

Pee

I think it's very important that it is the first time. If I could go back to the first time my ex stole something, I would have treated him a lot more firmly and he might have learnt his lesson.

It is not something that you can put up with happening again and again and he needs to know that.

Well done you for being firm.

I hope the doctors are able to help. The health consequences of cannibis are a lot milder than those with alcohol, but if he is stealing to pay for it, this does have me worried.

[Deleted User]

dotstar24 wrote: »

i dont know why paul. lol...and the TV would be the last thing he's sell....my nanas ring though....you get the picture.

thanks all again. it is easy to say just ditch him but we've been together 6 years and have a DS with another child on the way. i'm not going to throw the towel in yet on a whim.

Dotstar,

I admire you for your attitude towards this and not wanting to throw things away. But you're too good for him.