Partner pawned my dead nans ring without my permission

tara747

dotstar24, I forgot to say, please do keep us posted xo

ailuro2

Give him a time limit and an ultimatum - ANY weed and he's out, and he has to bath the baby, spend time with his family, help out round the house etc.

IF he is still doing this after an agreed period of say, six weeks, then maybe it will be worth saving.

I hate to be negative about this, I think you'll find he'll neither shape up or F off, so I'd get myself down the housing office pronto and find out where you stand - nothing to stop you getting another house in the area you're already in.

dotstar24

i will guys thanks. called him today, he said he's angry at me for leaving so i just went chicken oriental at him. laid it out on the line listed everything that HE'S done in the last few weeks that made me leave....funnyily enough he went very quiet. i dont know whats going to happen. at least i can say i gave him one last chance for our LO & the one on the ways sake....

ailuro2 - despite him acting like a total scumbag towards me he does do things for me like bath LO, wash up etc etc which is part of the reason he has this last chance.

tara - you read my mind. I'm not leaving that house. it's mine and my sons. I've done nothing wrong. HE HAS.

thanks for all the great advice, will let u know how i get on xxxx

Dinah93

Please don't forget that its not nessisarily the best thing for your sons to have him around. Apart from the very obvious fact he's bad for their physical health, they will follow his example as they get older, and young boys really need a strong role model.

Washing the kids and the dishes isn't something to be praised, thats an absolute minimum someone should be doing to contribute to the family!

dotstar24

all i'm saying if he was a bum who didnt work and didnt lift a finger round the house then yeah, it would be easier for me to say BYE! but he works long hours and does help...thats what i meant.

Pee

It sounds like he has a lot of good qualities. You said before about how hard he worked. Agreed, he should bath your LO and do some washing up, but he wouldn't be the first man that didn't, so even that is promising.

The problem as I see it is that you feel he taking you for granted and treating you badly - and it sounds like that, especially with the stealing of the ring in the first post - and he is not making you happy. You are in another room from him wishing that he wasn't in the house...

His problem is that you initailly accepted his dope smoking and now seem to have changed your mind about it - understandably because there are now children in the relationship - but somehow you need to renegotiate some new ground rules.

Stealing things is not on and he needs to make up to you for that, especially something irreplaceable.

Please be strong, because if he is not willing to negotiate or compromise, he does not deserve you and if he does deserve you, then you will find a way.

dotstar24

pee - you're bag on with the above. xx

tara747

Pee - not the first time I've read a post by you and nodded my head the whole way through! Very wise words.

dotstar24 - good for you. Whatever you do, don't feel bullied into giving up your home. If he has any decency, he will leave if you want him to. No man would want to see their own children out on the street. Do not go easy on him, let him prove he can make it up to you and be a good partner and father ALL THE TIME.

I wish you a happy and peaceful weekend, will check in on Monday to see how you are getting on xo

dotstar24

thanks x the other thing i'm going to do is ask him to open his own bank account next wkend. he can start bugeting for himself. and if i do kick him out it will be easier. x

tara747

dotstar - good for you, separate finances is a sensible idea whatever way it all works out. How was the weekend? xo