Partner pawned my dead nans ring without my permission

inmypocketnottheirs

dotstar24 wrote: »

i hate myself this is all so wrong.

It is wrong, yes.

It is wrong that he thieves your personal possessions and then pawns them.

It is wrong that he then helps you look for what he knows he has sold.

It is wrong that he smokes dope/weed/cannabis in the company of you and your unborn child.

It is wrong that he shows you no respect or remorse.

It is wrong that you feel bad about the way you feel about your reactions.

It is wrong that you continue to dwell on past times and might have beens.

It is wrong that you devote anymore of your time, life and feelings for this selfish, immature, inconsiderate apology for a man.

It will, I promise you, get better.

Have faith in yourself and your family.

redstararnie76

Dotstar - just came across your thread, and read through.
I can't offer much advice, but I wanted to send you some virtual hugs.

Dinah93

dotstar24 wrote: »

its just all so bad. i called him earlier so he could speak to our LO and he put the phone down on me when i came on the phone. i hate myself this is all so wrong.

Okay inmypocketnottheirs put it excellently and simply, but you need to face facts you might love him, you might even think he loves you, but he loves himself and weed a whole lot more. He has no respect for you or your son or the unborn baby. What is wrong is his behaviour, not that you left, that's the only thing right about the whole saga.

I walked away from a man very, very similar a year and a half ago, I did love him and it was hard even though he was verbally and pysically abusive, had stolen off my family etc. But I promise you being alone is not as bad as being with someone like that, please be strong for your children even if you yourself want to forgive him even when hes calling you every name under the son. By being angry he's making you feel guilty, don't let him.

Your children deserve a stable environment. If they want to grow up and smoke weed, thats every persons individual choice, but for them to be subjected to it before they are even born is horrific.

freejunkie

Sorry to hear about the terrible time your having, but it could be a postive thing.
Sometimes we go through our lives and hope that things will change creating a comfortable rut,
YOU however are working to make a change, what you are doing is'nt easy and thank goodness u are a strong enough to have put your foot down, I hope this is the trigger that makes your other half realise he has to change and be the man you need him to be, I hope you get back together stronger than ever.

dotstar24

freejunkie wrote: »

I hope this is the trigger that makes your other half realise he has to change and be the man you need him to be, I hope you get back together stronger than ever.

this made me cry again, thats all i want too. x

dotstar24

morning all. Well after spending most of yesterday in tears (mainly at the thought of moving back to my old area) I've decided to go home at the weekend. I have a nice house, a job and my son goes to a fantastic nursery. all this will be lost if i come back to an area I've tried to get away from since i was 16. my partner has 2 choices, shape up or f*%k off.
getting angry now. he wont speak to me on the phone so I've texted him this morning saying the only person he is hurting is our LO who wants to speak to daddy, and thats he's c0cked things up and needs to make it right.

Dinah93

Sorry love but you need to realise he's made his choice - and that is to ignore you in the hope you'll just come back to him, and nothing has to change. Is the tennancy in joint names? Does he work? If you can pay the rent speak to the landlord, tell him the situation, and he'd generally rather keep a reliable tennant and her child if they can pay than a stoner anyday.

*Louise*

dotstar24 wrote: »

i cant stop crying. i love him so much, i just wish he'd look after us.

You need someone who loves you as much back

His habit has too strong a hold on him, sadly, he will never put you and the children first

You shouldn't have to leave your home. He should be the one to go. The fact he doesn't seem to understand why you are so upset about what he did shows he has very little regard for your feelings.

(((hugs)))

furndire

I hope it works for you, but I really think you are making a very big mistake for you and your childen. Good luck

tara747

dotstar24, why should you have him there if you'd rather not? You can ask him to leave and (hopefully) get HB to cover the rent. You can get through this.