Partner pawned my dead nans ring without my permission

margaretclare

Your gran's ring was yours. He took it to pawn it. That was theft. Let's not mince words here. He had no right to it.

tara747

How are things today dotstar24? I have been following your thread and am so glad you seem to be rid of this guy. What he did was beyond despicable and his continuing behaviour (smoking, bad attitude towards you) is even worse. Your children will thank you for leaving him. Did you get anything sorted with the housing people?

Definitely cancel the rent direct debit ASAP if it's coming out of your account.

Pssst

dotstar24 wrote: »

thats a little harsh. his mum is a lovely woman. her other son is a teetotal church goer. some people choose to take certain paths in life...no matter how good an unbringing they've had or not.

quick update. i am 200 miles away at my mums. doc signed me off with stress. told her about the ring, she's disgusted. he rang earlier, ranting asking why i'd gone. weed and ring ofcourse! he said 'dont bother coming back then slag' and hung the phone up. might make an appointment with the housing officer here to see what my options are. i'd rather be near my family and friends

Aplogies for my harshness. I didnt read every posting and i may have missed out on some bits. either way, i think i and other MSE'ers feel you have made a good move. He has confirmed it by his outburst on the phone.

There are two sides to every story and we are unlikely to hear his as he seems to have limited communication skills.

dotstar24

well i spoke with his mother today. she's popping round tonight to see him to try and talk some sense into him. she thinks he's been really stupid. of the ring (i told her about it when i found out but mentioned it again today) she said 'it's done now, nothing will change whats happened, you need to decide whether you can forgive him or not'. she also said it's disgusting and can see why i'm so angry and why i've gone.

housing officer was helpful. she said my best bet is private rented accomadation. and that i'd get it paid for by the govt. I know this sounds silly but i cannot believe i am in this situation... i'm going to have to claim benefits. I've worked since i was 16, and other than child benefit and a small monthly tax credit, thats it. thats all i've ever claimed. i will now be reliant on handouts from the state. i just want to cry.

skylight

dotstar24 wrote: »

i will now be reliant on handouts from the state.

It wont be forever (if you decide that route). You have paid into the "system" to take something out when you need it. And after you have finished taking something out, you will be paying back in again.

tara747

dotstar24, well done you. You should be proud of yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for help, as skylight says you have paid your dues and need help right now. Take it. Who among us knows if or when we will be in the same situation?

Keep us posted.

dotstar24

i cant stop crying. i love him so much, i just wish he'd look after us.

inmypocketnottheirs

dotstar24 wrote: »

i cant stop crying. i love him so much, i just wish he'd look after us.

It isn't going to be easy. But I bet he isn't even giving you a second thought, just happy he can puff his way into oblivion.

It will take time, but you will come out of this stronger, better and happier.

Just remember the saying the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single footstep.

delain

furndire wrote: »

Is he on anything stronger than canabis as well? I thought it just made you chilled out - anger - stealing - hmmm

It can cause anger and make you very paranoid. Someone i knew once threw his kettle out of the window because he'd forgotten to switch it on, and he thought the kettle had done it on purpose(?!)

Confusion and anger are not a good mix.

You're well shot of him x

dotstar24

its just all so bad. i called him earlier so he could speak to our LO and he put the phone down on me when i came on the phone. i hate myself this is all so wrong.