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Partner pawned my dead nans ring without my permission

dotstar24
Posts: 494 Forumite
well as the title says, yesterday i found out my so called fiance pawned my dead nans engagement ring last year, for the princly sum of £29. at the time i thought i'd lost it. i hunted high and low for it, he even helped!!
last July a letter came through from the pawn shop saying item number ..... would be sold at auction it not redeemed in 7 days. at this point i became suspisious. i questioned him and he said he'd pawn his grandads soveriegn ring (i've never seen this) i called the shop but the lady could help.she said without the receipt she couldnt talk to me. I knew he was lying but i had no proof. until yesterday.
i was cleaning out our 'junk draw' and i saw a piece of paper folded into the tiniest square at the back of the drawer. it was made out in my partners name and described the ring '18ct gold non hallmarked diamond cluster ring' (my nans ring!!!!). again he denied it said he had no idea what ring it was and that he couldnt remember.
today i spoke to him again said i wouldn't get angry, and i wouldnt leave him, but that i wanted the truth, he said he did do it but lost the slip to redeem the item. if he'd have told me last year we could have looked for it. i got a half a ssed sorry and he stormed off. we've hardly spoken since i got back from work. i cant bear to look at him. we have a 3 yr old son and i'm 7 weeks pregnant so it's very complicated. i also called the pawn shop. she said there would be no way of tracing it
I also am very sure he pawned it to buy cannabis (and i dont care who says it isn't hes totally addicted).
help am heartbroken, scared and confused.
what should i do. he wont talk to me.
last July a letter came through from the pawn shop saying item number ..... would be sold at auction it not redeemed in 7 days. at this point i became suspisious. i questioned him and he said he'd pawn his grandads soveriegn ring (i've never seen this) i called the shop but the lady could help.she said without the receipt she couldnt talk to me. I knew he was lying but i had no proof. until yesterday.
i was cleaning out our 'junk draw' and i saw a piece of paper folded into the tiniest square at the back of the drawer. it was made out in my partners name and described the ring '18ct gold non hallmarked diamond cluster ring' (my nans ring!!!!). again he denied it said he had no idea what ring it was and that he couldnt remember.
today i spoke to him again said i wouldn't get angry, and i wouldnt leave him, but that i wanted the truth, he said he did do it but lost the slip to redeem the item. if he'd have told me last year we could have looked for it. i got a half a ssed sorry and he stormed off. we've hardly spoken since i got back from work. i cant bear to look at him. we have a 3 yr old son and i'm 7 weeks pregnant so it's very complicated. i also called the pawn shop. she said there would be no way of tracing it
I also am very sure he pawned it to buy cannabis (and i dont care who says it isn't hes totally addicted).
help am heartbroken, scared and confused.

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Comments
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OMG I would be raging!!!
Quite a typical tactic though - to fall out with you and storm off rather than giving a sincere apology :mad:
Do you think you will be able to forgive him? I hate people lying, so it would be quite difficult for me, but you do have children together.
To be perfectly honest, if it was my OH, unless he started major grovelling apologies and tried (somehow) to make it up to me - I would be seriously wondering about the little amount of respect he had for me and my feelings.
So sorry about your Nan's ring, it must have meant a lot to you xxxCross Stitch Cafe member No. 32012 170-194 2013 195-207.Hello Kitty ballerina 208.AVA 209.OLIVIA 210.ELLA 211.CARLA 212.LOUISE 213.CHARLEY 214.Mother & Child 215.Stop Faffing Completed 2014 216.Stitchers Sampler. 217.Let Them Be Small 218.Keep Calm 219. Ups and downs 220. Annniversary piece 221. 2x Teachers gifts 222. Peacock 223. Tooth Fairy 224. Beth Birth pic 225. Circe the Sorceress Cards x 240 -
thanks Louise. yes it did. its more the fact that my Grandad gave it to her. I dont have anything of his. I have my nans rosery beeds though (not worth anything so he cant pawn that) dont know what to do. I'm 300 miles away from my home town too. we moved up here 3 yrs ago...so idont know where I'd go and be able to keep my job. sorry state of affairs0
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Not only is he a druggy, he's also a thief and a liar.
I would have said to walk , maybe it shows what his character is really like, but circs maybe mean this is not possible.
May mean a huge talk and find out why he feels the need to do this0 -
I would be heartbroken, the lying, the going behind my back and also losing something so precious. And then him storming off instead of taking responsibility and apologising!
If it was me, i'd find it very hard to trust him again and the fact he did it to buy cannibis just makes it even worse for me, I can't abide any drugs but I know people feel differently about them. I agree that it is addictive, my sister is completely addicted and she won't admit it.
But you need to weigh up whether you think it's worth breaking up over. And if you do stay with him, try and get it through to him that if he ever did anything like that again, you would leave (you might not, but he doesn't need to know that)
I feel for you, you shouldn't be putting up with this stress when you're pregnant:heart: Think happy & you'll be happy :heart:
I :heart2: my doggies
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i said he'll have to replace the ring but thats not the point. it's the trust thing. and the fact he lied for so long.
been looking at what help i'd get if i did ask him to leave (though i dont think he'd go), and it's not as bleak as i thought it was going to be.
I'm so tired too.baby is making me exhusted. i dont have the energy to fight him : (0 -
I don't blame you being heartbroken.
I know your circumstances may mean you can't get rid of him but how will you ever be able to trust him again.
Everyone's already said what I would of said to you already.
Good luck I hope you can sort things out.0 -
Run silent, run deep. Keep calm over the next few days, have a chat with some friends or relatives and see how you feel then. A big blow up is the last thing you needThe World come on.....0
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my nans wedding ring is my most important belonging - if i ever lost it i would be beside myself!! its worth £15 but she wore it for 50 years - i had it repaired and put back together after she had to have it removed as a result of the chemo she was recieving - i have only taken it off twice in the last 13 years (for surgey - and put it on as soon as my mum was able to bring it in) if anyone was ever responsible for me losing it, i would not be reponsible for my actions!! i feel your pain the item is not replacable - your bloke is!Dogs return to eat their vomit, just as fools repeat their foolishness. There is no more hope for a fool than for someone who says, "i am really clever!"0
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i said he'll have to replace the ring but thats not the point. it's the trust thing. and the fact he lied for so long.
been looking at what help i'd get if i did ask him to leave (though i dont think he'd go), and it's not as bleak as i thought it was going to be.
I'm so tired too.baby is making me exhusted. i dont have the energy to fight him : (
Totally understand how you feel at moment, but i think you have to sit tight at this moment and have a long hard think about what you want to do , without rushing into things.
Maybe once you have had a chat with him you may feel that your relationship is worth saving.
Trust is the hardest thing to loose ,but you can build upon it if you both try.0 -
Children or not, walk.
Its not just the ring and the theft of that. Its the lying, the cannabis and the total disregard for you as a person. And its not going to stop in the foreseeable future - these things take a very long time to sort out and you need to decide if its (he's) worth the wait.
If I were in your shoes, I would walk. Enough is enough. Everyone deserves at least A chance but thats been and gone and more issued since. And I think that I am worth a lot more than this. So are my children.
But thats me. And the biggest hugs for being the one trying to sort this out. xxx0
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