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Stop me getting arrested!!!

I am at my wicks end, I'm stressed up to the eyeballs and all that stuff, tearing my hair out. I need advice because I really don't know what to do anymore!

DS1 is 7 and we live right next to the park. Everyday he goes to the park and everyday if there are more than 3 other kids there he ends up being picked on. He gets hit, scratched, spat on, pushed, any toys he has taken get stolen, I've had his shoes thrown away by the little brats! Scooters have been wrecked. Honestly it is every time he is there. The other kids range from his age to over, boys and girls but there are several 'ring leaders'.

The ring leaders just don't like him (he is immature for his age meaning he is not a thug as tbh most of the ones who are picking on him are foul mouthed little thugs). He walks out the door and all you hear is them yelling 'There's DS1, quick somebody whack him!'. So DS1 goes and climbs up the tree, they start throwing stones, one gets up high enough to drag him down (sometimes) and one or two of them hold him while the rest take turns to hit him.

However, if there is less than 3 they don't bother as he can hold his own against 2 of them!

Last week I did get angry, one came to the door to tell me that DS1 had hit him as he came running up he was trying to take DS1's skateboard off him to hit him with it and in the process my front door got whacked, I opened the door to one red headed child calling my red headed child a ginger wee btard and a number of other lovely names. I shouted that I didn't want to hear who had hit who and I didn't want my door damaged and that it was a bit thick insulting someone on the colour of their hair when you have exactly the same colour. The boy then ran away back to the park still yelling abuse at my son.

Sometimes DS2 goes to the park with him, but he is left alone (and I watch them like a hawk from the window, which really doesn't help as I then see exactly how it is there).

What can I do? We can't move house. DH has tried to talk to the kids (he is more diplomatic than me and knows most of them from the youth group he does), I can't keep him in all summer...but I'm going to end up getting arrested!!!

Should I petition the council to get rid of the park (they tried that at the begining of the year to make way for new houses, I actually wish they had just done it)?

I just feel useless. And he keeps going back to the park.
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Comments

  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 36,099 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    How old are these little joys?
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • Tigsteroonie
    Tigsteroonie Posts: 24,954 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Don't shoot me for what I'm about to say (coz I value your friendship elsewhere on the forum :D) but ...
    tiamai_d wrote: »
    Everyday he goes to the park and everyday if there are more than 3 other kids there he ends up being picked on. He gets hit, scratched, spat on, pushed, any toys he has taken get stolen,

    <snip>

    And he keeps going back to the park.

    I'm surprised that he's not hiding in his bedroom, that despite all the rough treatment he is still choosing to go and play in the park.

    Perhaps he is coping with this better than you think? :confused: It may be hard for you to watch, but perhaps he is wanting to stand his ground against them. I'd be proud of him for not giving up.

    That said, you know I'm not a Mum yet, and I'd probably feel differently about my own boy ;)
    :heartpuls Mrs Marleyboy :heartpuls

    MSE: many of the benefits of a helpful family, without disadvantages like having to compete for the tv remote

    :) Proud Parents to an Aut-some son :)
  • tiamai_d
    tiamai_d Posts: 11,987 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    RAS wrote: »
    How old are these little joys?

    From 7 to 12.
    Don't shoot me for what I'm about to say (coz I value your friendship elsewhere on the forum :D) but ...



    I'm surprised that he's not hiding in his bedroom, that despite all the rough treatment he is still choosing to go and play in the park.

    Perhaps he is coping with this better than you think? :confused: It may be hard for you to watch, but perhaps he is wanting to stand his ground against them. I'd be proud of him for not giving up.

    That said, you know I'm not a Mum yet, and I'd probably feel differently about my own boy ;)

    I know! He is coping with it and doesn't seem bothered mostly. Yes, it is me who has the problem but I can't just watch it. And I don't know how to handle it. How to not get involved, especially as it's so close (I can hear if my window is open).

    And how do I support him, and more importantly not get angry at him when it all comes back to my door. Kids come and ring the doorbell to say DS1 hit me when I know (cos I watched it) that they hit him and he hit them back.
  • cheepskate_2
    cheepskate_2 Posts: 1,669 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    tiamai_d wrote: »
    I really don't know what to do anymore!
    Everyday he goes to the park and everyday if there are more than 3 other kids there he ends up being picked on. He gets hit, scratched, spat on, pushed, any toys he has taken get stolen, I've had his shoes thrown away by the little brats! Scooters have been wrecked. Honestly it is every time he is there.

    He walks out the door and all you hear is them yelling 'There's DS1, quick somebody whack him!'. So DS1 goes and climbs up the tree, they start throwing stones, one gets up high enough to drag him down (sometimes) and one or two of them hold him while the rest take turns to hit him.


    Sometimes DS2 goes to the park with him, but he is left alone (and I watch them like a hawk from the window, which really doesn't help as I then see exactly how it is there).

    /QUOTE]

    Why would the council get rid of a park , which this country doesn't have enough of just now, for a child experiencing problems.
    Where are you when this is all going on.

    If my child was getting this punishment i would be out there supervising them.

    For your child to get up a tree, them to throw stones at him and then them to climb the tree , drag him down and them hit him, ???? mabye i'm wrong but you still don't supervise him after all this.
  • Glamazon
    Glamazon Posts: 8,401 Forumite
    I see what Tigs is saying - most kids being bullied would stay in their rooms not continue to go outside and put up with it. I think that asking the council to get rid of the park could have an even worse effect - kids playing in the streets, getting bored, shoplifting etc etc.

    I don't really know what you can do - is there nowhere else DS1 can go to play? :confused:

    Would u be able to speak with the parents? It sounds like DH isn't getting through to them - does your son go to Youth Club with him? Maybe he could go and your DH could try to get them all involved in that environment.

    Please don't stress (remember your BP!)
    A very busy Yummy Mummy to a 1 year old gorgeous boy :smileyhea

    Where does the time go? :think:
  • tiamai_d
    tiamai_d Posts: 11,987 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    cheepskate wrote: »

    Why would the council get rid of a park , which this country doesn't have enough of just now, for a child experiencing problems.
    Where are you when this is all going on.

    If my child was getting this punishment i would be out there supervising them.

    For your child to get up a tree, them to throw stones at him and then them to climb the tree , drag him down and them hit him, ???? mabye i'm wrong but you still don't supervise him after all this.

    I was joking about getting rid of the park :rolleyes:

    I've tried supervising him, but at 7 yrs old it would be worse if his Mum was at the park with him all the time. I take DS2 along as 'cover' and it still happens whether I am there or not. In fact if I am there it makes it worse, they know that I can't do anything about it so the name calling gets stepped up.
  • cazscoob
    cazscoob Posts: 4,990 Forumite
    is it just me thats thinking about a powerful hose lol!!!
    soak the little b00gers, might make you feel better!

    on the serious side i think its awful that they are doing this to him? do they do this at school? have you contacted police?
    What's for you won't go past you
  • tiamai_d
    tiamai_d Posts: 11,987 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    cazscoob wrote: »
    is it just me thats thinking about a powerful hose lol!!!
    soak the little b00gers, might make you feel better!

    on the serious side i think its awful that they are doing this to him? do they do this at school? have you contacted police?

    I thought about a hose... and worse... :cool::rotfl: But then I don't fancy giving birth behind bars!

    Police won't do anything due to their ages and yes he gets bullied at school too.

    As for talking to the parents... tried that once, didn't go to well, they are all angels don't you know? And so long as it doesn't happen at their door they don't care.

    Everyone was supposed to say 'it'll be alright, they grow up eventually', pah! :p
  • Glamazon
    Glamazon Posts: 8,401 Forumite
    they will grow up - eventually! :p:p:p:p

    Why not try the water pistol? If it works on the dog................... :rolleyes:
    A very busy Yummy Mummy to a 1 year old gorgeous boy :smileyhea

    Where does the time go? :think:
  • jenhug
    jenhug Posts: 2,277 Forumite
    Why are you not calling the police?
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