SAHD - Going back to work

pollyanna24

One more thing - he does seem to see a lot more of these women than I ever did!!! Even goes with them to pick up their children from school!

savvy

OOOPS when I went to reply it was only on post #3!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Well if you HAVE to have a chore, take baby out in the garden with you and do the gardening, leaving HIM in the kitchen at weekends

And just seen your last post, I don't understand why he's out at the school gates with their children? I think he's getting it easy IMO

Flipped27

He is probably just a bit bored, i remember i was when i was at home every day - do you trust him?

Flipped27

Savvy is right - pick a chore YOU want to do - cooking is the one thing i hate so I refuse to do it!!! Stick a load of washing on - much quicker!!

pollyanna24

Heehee, I do trust him. And them. Know their other halves. He's at the school gates some days because the older kids love him. He's the jungle gym that they can pounce on and play with. He's one of those guys. So yep, again, perfect, what am I moaning about?

Thanks for letting me getting it off my chest and thanks for replying to me. I feel better just writing about it and know that it doesn't have to be forever. It has to be for now cos I have always earned more than him and have the potential to always be like that.

I'm going to carry on doing the cooking cos I don't think I trust him with it. It doesn't really bother me to be honest. Don't mind cooking that much. I spend spare time at work working out what to cook. And always have simple meals ready (even if they are freezer meals). He is preparing the chicken tonight, so can't really complain (must remember to text him instructions about oven).

savvy

LOL glad you feel a bit better, if you feel down at home, just tell him you went through a lot of pain to have the baby and don't feel you are reaping any of the benefits

Oh and go and rent out Mr Mom now and then - I loved that film :rotfl::rotfl:

GettingHitched

I didnt want to read and run, I dont have kids ( just 3 norty dogs and 2 norty kittens ) but I just wanted to send you a big hug. You sound like you are very frustrated with everything.

Can you maybe change jobs or go part time, work from home, so that you can spend some proper time with them both?

On those weekends, how about you take bubba off for some retail therapy or to feed the ducks ( or whatever ) and leave him to do the batch cooking/cleaning/ironing/dusting etc. Perhaps ask him to get a saturday job, so gets an inkling of how you feel

I think you need to have a sit down with a coffee and the OH and have a chat with him about all of this, be Frank ( whoever he is ) and be honest with how you are feeling, and the fact that you travel for 3hrs, have to cook and never see the bubba.

Claire3121

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Thanks guys. I'm not sure what I'm resentful of, all of it I guess.

Yesterday he picked me up from the train station and she wasn't even with him. She was a friend's house and the women there were cooing over her, and didn't want to let her go. I went to this house and just felt so out of the loop.

He is doing a great job and I'm trying my hardest not to say anything, but he can tell I'm quiet and moody about it. He knows how I feel, but I'm trying not to say anything, because what is the point, we can't change things for now. I know the answer is for me to snap out of this mood I'm in otherwise he is going to dread me coming home.

I'm feeling a little better about it just writing. He's not at home for a laugh. He has not choice about the situation we're in either. It's just work is sooo boring.

I do batch cook at weekends, but still have to prepare some of the main dinner. In the 10 years we have been together, he has never cooked, don't think he knows how. His argument is that working fathers have to do things like mow the lawn etc. so why shouldn't I have a chore to do as well?

You should be spending the weekends with your daughter and not batch cooking. Your hubby should be doing that.

pollyanna24

Aww, thanks GettingHitched, nice of you to reply.

Don't think there is much chance of me changing job. I work in London and am overpaid as it is, but need all my wages just to keep the household going. Sobsob.

I'm just going to have keep going for now. Just think I might have to sit bf down and discuss how I feel about it and that he has to be a bit more sympathetic about it all. I miss my daughter so much, but he is just, "Yeah, well, that's life." He refuses to admit that he has the better deal, but hey ho.

Dormouse

Can I just point out one thing? I think there's a bit of "grass is always greener" type thing going on here. You seem to think that being a SAHP is all fun and games, going for walks, doing the housework while the baby contentedly plays in the baby walker, etc. Yes that's what it's like... for maybe 10% of the time, or 20%, or 50% if you're really lucky, but it certainly isn't a bed of roses all the time. A SAHP also has to put up with hours and hours of whinginess, bumped heads, snot, poo everywhere, clinginess, and not a second to yourself.

Your DP is probably equally resentful of all the things you get to do in your day - like going to the loo by yourself, and having lunch in peace, and being able to surf the net. Do you see what I mean?

My DH probably thinks I have "the better deal" because he only gets to hear about the fun things we do as I don't want to bore him with the mundane stuff that we do day in, day out. Being a SAHP can be fun, but it's really really hard work.