pammyj74's MFW diary (or possible wishful thinking!!)

mummyofonechild

pammyj74 wrote: »

You are so close Cha, your mortgage is a third of mine! I have just been looking back over my diary at the old figures and I have to pinch myself how far I have come with it. I hate it that I didnt start it a lot earlier, it wouldnt have been possible when I was with ex though.

I was speaking to my mate yesterday as we took the kids to the local water park (free) and she was saying about how she had been overpaid at workm she had reduced her hours to 15 but they were still paying her for 20. this had been happening for weeks. I said did you not realise that your wages hadnt gone down and she made the comment that I dont check my bank every few hours like you, I am not that obsessed about it. I made a comment back that she must have too much money to bother about it then.
All last night and today her comment has really bugged me. I suppose I am obsessed with money but for a good purpose (in my eyes) she has an IO mortgage so we are in two different worlds when it comes to finances. Why do I let some silly comment like that get to me?

Ignore her Pammy, you will be mortgage free before she even touches her capital repayment :beer:

Sepa74

It is horrible when people make comments like that, isn't it. I think some people find it quite threatening because managing finances is like a trip to the dentist... something they know they have to do, it has bad consequences if you don't, but it's quite easy to put off and put off and put off.

Apparently (but I have no idea if this is true!) drug addicts have dreadful teeth... but it's not because of the drugs. It's because they use the drugs to mask a lack of courage to face up to difficult things in their life... like going to the dentist!

So the drugs and the dreadful teeth are symptoms of the same emotional problems.

What a rambling post! And it probably doesn't apply to your friend at all. Let's hope she really does have too much money to have to worry about it! Good for her if she does!

Don't feel bad about your friend. She has to accept you as you are just as you have to accept her. That's why we call it friendship!

gallygirl

pammyj74 wrote: »

I was speaking to my mate yesterday as we took the kids to the local water park (free) and she was saying about how she had been overpaid at workm she had reduced her hours to 15 but they were still paying her for 20. this had been happening for weeks. I said did you not realise that your wages hadnt gone down and she made the comment that I dont check my bank every few hours like you, I am not that obsessed about it. I made a comment back that she must have too much money to bother about it then.
All last night and today her comment has really bugged me. I suppose I am obsessed with money but for a good purpose (in my eyes) she has an IO mortgage so we are in two different worlds when it comes to finances. Why do I let some silly comment like that get to me?

With any luck Pammy all last night & today the conversation has really bugged her as well and may make her open her eyes a little bit. You have nothing to be worried about - you are not a miser who does not know how to enjoy themselves (holidays, days out in London, guinea pigs etc ), but you are careful & make the most of it - that is something to be proud of so shout from the rooftops :j

cha97michelle

People hit out when they feel a bit threatened Pammy, maybe she is worried about paying it back?

You are living how you want to, so don't let it bug you. Silly comments aren't worth wasting your weekend over.

pammyj74

Thank you guys, I know you are all on my wavelength I do sometimes evaluate that my kids are having a good life and not missing out but we still do things etc so I am ok with that. Some people (my friend) prefer to spend the money they have on other stuff and dont worry about paying off the mortgage (or even capital). I do think that she knows she has a saving grace in her parents and partners parents inheritance in 10 or 20 years so they are living to the full now and not worrying about it.
We all have different lifestyles so we dont all think the same. I am doing what is right for me and my life and I have to keep remembering that.

Am doing housework today ready for my homestart visit tomorrow. You would think that after a huge declutter a few weeks ago it would just be a brush over but oh no, you havent lived with my kids!! :mad: So I am getting jiggy with it (will smith music in background) and dancing my way around
Where is this hot weather we were supposed to have this weekend? Its warm but not sunny

CathT

pammyj74 wrote: »

Thank you guys, I know you are all on my wavelength I do sometimes evaluate that my kids are having a good life and not missing out but we still do things etc so I am ok with that

That's what you have to remember, your children don't go without and the holidays/days out you have are a result of careful planning and budgeting. They will reap the reward again when you are mortgage free while they are still young

I have friends on IO who aren't worried about repaying the mortgage as in their mind in 20-30 years a 110k mortgage will be like getting a £10k loan. I think they forget that they will already have paid hundreds of pound in interest on it every month. That kind of behaviour and approach baffles me - not what any of us do

cha97michelle

Pammy, we spent hours cleaning yesterday and moving toys between different rooms. All 4 of us were at it for about 4 hours. I don't know how it gets so bad, as i only spent a whole afternoon sorting toys out and got rid of some a couple of weeks ago.

I'm thankful for the nice weather as the house stops cleaner/tidier while they play out.

Kids eh?

newgirly

Hi pammy, we are definatly in the minority and I think that sometimes its easy to forget that, I don't know anyone else that has op'd their mortgage except dh's parents. My friends and family live month to month on cc's still , many of them much older than me.
My opinion is even if you are to one day get an inheritance, it could not possibly be relied on as part of a financial plan as who knows what is going to happen in the future. But even if you did get a windfall, I would much rather have the money than have to use it to pay off debts. Definatly a touch of guilt from your friend I think, it takes self control to not buy things that you want if the money is there in the bank.

Thank goodness for mse and all of our online likeminded friends!

pammyj74

The amount of times a few years ago I bought things on cc if I wanted it, including a holiday abroad one time. I definitely have the ethos that if I dont need it or cant pay for it outright I wont buy it. Once in a blue moon I might buy something as a treat or I would just go mad lol I have our caravan holiday this year paid by mr t but dont have anymore pts for that anymore, last four years have been fab doing that. I am not going to start putting money aside each month for next years I think. Might get a cheap caravan out the paper or if anyone knows anywhere ??
I kick myself that I let me and ex get into the sutuation we did financially. He is still going that way unfortunately with his new family. I would have at least £15k less off my mortgage now, but oh well you live and learn dont you. God help my next partner (if there ever is one!), he will have to live the mse way

newgirly

There's bound to be something cheap available for next year Pammy, it's nice to have something to look forward to.
I'm already thinking what to book for next year thats nice and cheap, although I might hold off until we have been to the Isle of wight incase we decide to go for that again.