MSE Pregnancy Club XIII

GemmaE

Hi all,

Hope u don't mind a newbie joining in but am feeling a little on my own at the minute. I went to GP on Wednesday to try and get 'period pains' sorted out that I have had for about 8 weeks and to talk about a sharp stabbing pain down my left hand side. I then found out I was pregnant and had to go straight to A&E in case it was ectopic. I don't think I have ever cried so hard or so much, this wasn't planned and OH doesn't want kids until the end of next year so was panicking he would hate me or think I had trapped him (I have been broody for about 4 years, since we got married).
Thankfully after spending nearly a whole day in A&E and surgical assessment I found out the baby is OK and in the right place. Spent most of Wednesday crying and peeing as was terrified, excited and dreading discussing what we were going to do with OH. The worst point was when i had an internal scan to check it wasn't ectopic and the doctor said he could see the heartbeat and asked if I wanted to see. I said no as I was by myself (Had sent OH home as he just sat in silence looking like someone had died).
Over the last few days we have slowly been coming to terms with having a baby, although he still doesn't really want to talk about it and doesn't seem very happy, but he does keep asking me if I'm ok so I think he is getting there.

Now that I know I want to go through with this I am panicking about everything I have done before I found out I was pregnant including drinking, somking and taking hay fever medication. I didn't smoke a lot (prob 3 a day max), but had a couple of drinks every night and a hay fever tablet everyday. I went off drink last week and had put it down to feeling grotty, but now realise it was baby saying no!
I haven;t taken a hay fever tablet since wednesday and have been suffering really badly. I have bought hay balm (which doesn't work), and invested in an air purifier today, which seems to be helping. I'm now worrying that if I sneeze too much I'm going to hurt the baby or make it come loose (I know this sounds mad), and have been really emotional. I even cried when Michale Jackson died, and I hate him! I feel like I'm going mad but don't really have anyone to talk to as OH doesn't want to tell anyone until he has got his head around it. I'm hoping by Monday we can tell parents, just so I can air my worries.
I know my problems are minute in comparison to what some of you are going threough, and sorry if I sound like a whinger, I've got 4 days worth of questions to get out!

searching_me

:rotfl: SS i gave in and gave him a couple of oz's of formula my poor nipples look raw ... he took it no problems this is one very hungry child x

SugarSpun

Gemma, there's no point worrying about what you've already done and can't change. I was drinking before I found I was pregnant, a friend of mine was at Glastonbury and indulging in plenty of, um, herbal refreshment before she found out, a friend of mine's still smoking 3 a day (down from 15) and is pregnant ... babies are resilient.

Just look at the number of posts here from women who've gone overdue - if it was possible to dislodge a baby by sneezing too hard most of them would have been huffing pepper out of sheer desperation.

tiamai_d

GemmaE wrote: »

Hi all,

Hope u don't mind a newbie joining in but am feeling a little on my own at the minute. I went to GP on Wednesday to try and get 'period pains' sorted out that I have had for about 8 weeks and to talk about a sharp stabbing pain down my left hand side. I then found out I was pregnant and had to go straight to A&E in case it was ectopic. I don't think I have ever cried so hard or so much, this wasn't planned and OH doesn't want kids until the end of next year so was panicking he would hate me or think I had trapped him (I have been broody for about 4 years, since we got married).
Thankfully after spending nearly a whole day in A&E and surgical assessment I found out the baby is OK and in the right place. Spent most of Wednesday crying and peeing as was terrified, excited and dreading discussing what we were going to do with OH. The worst point was when i had an internal scan to check it wasn't ectopic and the doctor said he could see the heartbeat and asked if I wanted to see. I said no as I was by myself (Had sent OH home as he just sat in silence looking like someone had died).
Over the last few days we have slowly been coming to terms with having a baby, although he still doesn't really want to talk about it and doesn't seem very happy, but he does keep asking me if I'm ok so I think he is getting there.

Now that I know I want to go through with this I am panicking about everything I have done before I found out I was pregnant including drinking, somking and taking hay fever medication. I didn't smoke a lot (prob 3 a day max), but had a couple of drinks every night and a hay fever tablet everyday. I went off drink last week and had put it down to feeling grotty, but now realise it was baby saying no!
I haven;t taken a hay fever tablet since wednesday and have been suffering really badly. I have bought hay balm (which doesn't work), and invested in an air purifier today, which seems to be helping. I'm now worrying that if I sneeze too much I'm going to hurt the baby or make it come loose (I know this sounds mad), and have been really emotional. I even cried when Michale Jackson died, and I hate him! I feel like I'm going mad but don't really have anyone to talk to as OH doesn't want to tell anyone until he has got his head around it. I'm hoping by Monday we can tell parents, just so I can air my worries.
I know my problems are minute in comparison to what some of you are going threough, and sorry if I sound like a whinger, I've got 4 days worth of questions to get out!

Well, this little lady in here was a shock. I had a minera coil after I was told that another would be suicide (I almost died having DS2). Had a scan the day I did the 3 tests and saw a baby but no coil. DH was adamant that we should terminate and at that point I agreed, was far too scared to do it all again. But we had a week before we got to see the consultant and I slowly got over teh shock and became a bit excited. Didn't go so well with the consultant and 4 weeks later we were at the clinic for a termination. I so did not want that, but DH did, he wanted me rather than a baby. We got a second opinion however.

It wasn't untill the 20 week scan that DH slowly got used to the idea but even now he is reluctant to get into baby talk, I've had to make all the plans myself, pick out baby stuff, he just can't get excited agbout it till she is here.

Your not alone in that respect! Your OH will come round, it just takes men a long time.

As for the worrying, don't. Many people have smoked and drank and took medication not recomended in pregnancy during the early days and been fine. You ahve stopped now and that is all that matters.

I can highly reccomend the lloyds allergy releif light thing you shove up your nose, it is amazing (and safe)!!!

jennynoo

Welcome Gemma, feel free to ask all the questions you want. We've all had problems with our OH's getting used to the idea, it's so much easier for us as we can feel the baby growing but even then I still panic wondering what I'm doing when I meet other people's kids that are really annoying! Haven't you already trapped your OH if you have been married 4 years?!

Tigsteroonie

Hi Gemma

As Sugar says, please don't stress about what you've done before finding out you're pregnant - I had my leaving party from work and got well p***ed, only to find out a few weeks later!

As for crying about everything, well that's pretty normal at your stage. Hormones are completely all over the place, the weirdest of things can turn you into a shrieking harridan or a crying wreck.

It's a huge shock to you, and it'll be a huge shock to your OH too. Give him time and space to think about the situation - it's early days still, and you've plenty of time to get organised.

Talking does help, and I'm sure nobody on here thinks you're whining - we've all done it

searching_me

gemma first of have a :grouphug: darlin ... i suffered an ectopic last year before having jayden so very happy you dont have to go through that i drank and smoked (like you not many the odd one or two) at the beginning was very hard for me to expect this little mister but feel very guilty about it as i love him so much .. you'll be ok darlin and your OH will get his head round it in time just a shock ... give him time x

GemmaE

Thanks ladies! I think its just not being able to talk about it that turns everything into a big scary monster of a problem! I'm glad I am being neurotic, hopefully OH will come round soon, he's started twiitching when I mention it to flash a tiny half smile, I think he's just worried about money and stuff.

I'll definitely try the allergy relief thing, I'll try anything! Thanks for listening/ helping

Will try and enjoy the rest of my weekend now!

Nicki

searching_me wrote: »

:rotfl: SS i gave in and gave him a couple of oz's of formula my poor nipples look raw ... he took it no problems this is one very hungry child x

Well done! That first bottle is always the hardest (on mum!)

If you want to its still possible to combination feed - part breast with formula top ups and provided you are still feeding every day the breasts will continue to produce the milk you need. Its even possible to work back up to fully bf if you do decide you feel awful. What I'm trying to say is I'm glad that we now have happy mum and baby, but your decision isn't irreversible if you stop feeling happy about it.

I've had a nice surprise today. When my nanny was expecting her child I gave her our moses basket and some other bits and pieces. She mentioned to me recently that she still had it, and was happy to give it back, along with "some other stuff you might like". OH has just been over to get it, and come back with 4 bags of clothes (all neutrals and lovely) in sizes 0-3, 3-6 and 6-9 months, a lovely oak cot, which will fit in beautifully with our bedroom furniture, some gorgeous handmade cot blankets and pretty cot bumpers and sheets, and a large bag of baby toys and books in mint condition. The cot was the last big purchase we had left to make, and some other friends have offered us a brand new mattress (they bought two when they were expecting theirs ). She's given me about 3 times as much as I gave her !

So now absolutely the only thing I have left to buy is a sling, and I've still got 14 weeks before baby's due date :j

fitzilian19

ask your doc for a non-steroid nasal spray... the one i use is fine for baby and stops the risk of your nose swelling up!