We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: Hello Forumites! In order to help keep the Forum a useful, safe and friendly place for our users, discussions around non-MoneySaving matters are not permitted per the Forum rules. While we understand that mentioning house prices may sometimes be relevant to a user's specific MoneySaving situation, we ask that you please avoid veering into broad, general debates about the market, the economy and politics, as these can unfortunately lead to abusive or hateful behaviour. Threads that are found to have derailed into wider discussions may be removed. Users who repeatedly disregard this may have their Forum account banned. Please also avoid posting personally identifiable information, including links to your own online property listing which may reveal your address. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
in a difficult situation with our neighbours- what should we do?
overdraftoverdrive
Posts: 14 Forumite
hi there, i've been thinking about this conundrum for a few days and as i was on the forums, i thought id see if anybody here has a word of advice for us.
We moved into a new house 2 weeks ago are new to the north and have a neighbour who seems very nice, could not be nicer in fact. there is another next door neighbour whom we really don't like. They arent offensive or nasty or anything, they are just not our kind of person and my husband dislikes her. She is old enough to be our mother for a start and is somebody who will just relentlessly talk and talk and talk. She seems a bit of a busybody in fact, she seems a little "desperate housewife esque", and we feel we have nothing in common with her. Our other neighbour thinks shes great and shes hilarious and i guess, thinks we think the same. She will go round our next door neighbours house "with a bottle" and i'll hear her gabbling on until 3am. She came into our house uninvited to "have a look" at the place, when i said "you should see the state of the wall", and seems to think shes 20 years younger than she is and will make inappropriate comments to people which i find a little embarrassing. my husband certainly does not want to talk to her, but i am able at least to "play along" with what shes saying out of politeness.
the problem has come from the fact that our nicer next door neighbour has tried to befriend us, which is lovely, but as my mother has always told me, you shouldnt be mates with your neighbours because if theres any falll outs, it will make things very difficult. there are other big issues with my neighbour that i won't recount here, that make me want to be on "friendly terms" only with. its nothing personal, theyre nice people, but we don't want them as friends, or "popping round".
the problem has come from the fact that they keep inviting us over. the first few times i thought were a one off, and out of politeness i said no because we wrere busy. but the invites keep coming. in truth i want to say "we don't want to be friends with you, youre not our kind of people, and it isn't our scene so please stop asking us" but obviously we dont want all our neighbours hating us as it will cause problems. my husband invited the neighbour we like along for something and she then said "oh great, i'll mention it to janet!" which left me having to lie and cancel the invitation.
how do i get this relationship on the terms we want it? its nice to be friendly with your neighbours and we appreciate it, but we dont want to hang arpound with these people. How do you think we should handle it? should we go out for a drink or the meal? my fear is there these guys are big drinkers and DH and I are practically teetotal, we enjoy a beer, but were not up for getting !!!!ed on a saturday night. I don't know how to handle this politely and i don't want it to cause a rift.:( ideas?
We moved into a new house 2 weeks ago are new to the north and have a neighbour who seems very nice, could not be nicer in fact. there is another next door neighbour whom we really don't like. They arent offensive or nasty or anything, they are just not our kind of person and my husband dislikes her. She is old enough to be our mother for a start and is somebody who will just relentlessly talk and talk and talk. She seems a bit of a busybody in fact, she seems a little "desperate housewife esque", and we feel we have nothing in common with her. Our other neighbour thinks shes great and shes hilarious and i guess, thinks we think the same. She will go round our next door neighbours house "with a bottle" and i'll hear her gabbling on until 3am. She came into our house uninvited to "have a look" at the place, when i said "you should see the state of the wall", and seems to think shes 20 years younger than she is and will make inappropriate comments to people which i find a little embarrassing. my husband certainly does not want to talk to her, but i am able at least to "play along" with what shes saying out of politeness.
the problem has come from the fact that our nicer next door neighbour has tried to befriend us, which is lovely, but as my mother has always told me, you shouldnt be mates with your neighbours because if theres any falll outs, it will make things very difficult. there are other big issues with my neighbour that i won't recount here, that make me want to be on "friendly terms" only with. its nothing personal, theyre nice people, but we don't want them as friends, or "popping round".
the problem has come from the fact that they keep inviting us over. the first few times i thought were a one off, and out of politeness i said no because we wrere busy. but the invites keep coming. in truth i want to say "we don't want to be friends with you, youre not our kind of people, and it isn't our scene so please stop asking us" but obviously we dont want all our neighbours hating us as it will cause problems. my husband invited the neighbour we like along for something and she then said "oh great, i'll mention it to janet!" which left me having to lie and cancel the invitation.
how do i get this relationship on the terms we want it? its nice to be friendly with your neighbours and we appreciate it, but we dont want to hang arpound with these people. How do you think we should handle it? should we go out for a drink or the meal? my fear is there these guys are big drinkers and DH and I are practically teetotal, we enjoy a beer, but were not up for getting !!!!ed on a saturday night. I don't know how to handle this politely and i don't want it to cause a rift.:( ideas?
0
Comments
-
Sorry I'm totally confused. Can you call them Neighbour A, B etc.
~Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.~:)
0 -
As long as none of the neighbours have pampas grass in front garden you should be OK. Many posters on this site would be immensely grateful for neighbours like yours.If you are querying your Council Tax band would you please state whether you are in England, Scotland or Wales0
-
Not trying to be funny, but the tone of your post comes over as rather snobby with terms such as "not our kind of people" and "rather old". They will probably get the message soon and leave you alone. Just bear in mind thy were there before you.0
-
sorry, but i have to agree with ILW, especially when you say 'these people'
If you act with them as you are acting on here they will soon get the message,
believe me. Just go out now and again with them, tell them you are not ones for going out a lot and dont drink very much.
You maybe need to loosen your stays a bit missus and you might find you enjoy it
Sorry to be blunt but it really is the way you are coming over in your post, maybe untentionally but there it is nonetheless.make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
and we will never, ever return.0 -
Pampas Grass? is that a private joke or can everybody join in.
make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
and we will never, ever return.0 -
Apparently pampas grass in front garden is a "secret sign" that occupiers are swingers. May be an urban myth or someone else's in joke though.If you are querying your Council Tax band would you please state whether you are in England, Scotland or Wales0
-
The only one coming across judgemental and difficult is you, and it sounds to me your neighbours are just trying to be friendly!
And the thing about not being friends with your neighbour is utter rubbish. It's quite the opposite, as being friends with your neighbour can help solve conflict or even prevent it.
You've only been there two weeks!! Lighten up, have some fun, and be grateful you have friendly neighbours and not pot smoking heavy metal lovers who do drum practice until 4am.Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)0 -
Hyacinth Bucket - The Early Years0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.4K Life & Family
- 258.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards