am i being selfish

thatgirlsam

his father is very cross with them - he rang last night apparently and they said he couldn't speak to him because he got to excited before bed!!-
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robpw2

why dont you meet them at midnight as youll still be on "the night shift" then you can tuck him into bed either at yours or at theres

SugarSpun

I'd ask their son to explain to them - you want to spend some time with him, so he needs to be back on time as agreed so he can spend Father's Day with his father, as agreed.

thatgirlsam

Buddingblonde wrote: »

You are being selfish - but I can understand why you could feel put out.

It is annoying when people change plans when you have already made appointments/arrangements but this is not an everyday occurance. It is a once in a blue moon opportunity for a little boy to build memories of his family for the future. The last thing you want to do is cause any tension between you all over such minor issues if you can help it.

Look at it from their point of view - they are getting to spend time and love on their grandchild, the day will come when he wont be able to go with them. There could be other children, new families, school commitments etc etc.

In the big scheme of things, does it really matter if he is happy? I know that you are excited about showing him his room - he will still be as pleased on sunday. And he will still see his father on fathers day.

Make sure in future that you are firmer (in a nice way) so that they understand what you expect from them while they are away with your son. That way everyone will know where they stand and no ones feelings get hurt.

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i know what you mean and i won't be falling out with them - i think they are not considering my feelings though , and his dads - we are his parents and we should make the decisions -
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i spose i wouldn't mind so much if i had been asked not told that they changed the plans.

thatgirlsam

robpw2 wrote: »

why dont you meet them at midnight as youll still be on "the night shift" then you can tuck him into bed either at yours or at theres

-i will be at home sat night rob - i arranged this cos i thought he would be back sat aft , usually i would have to work sat night but didn't want to rush off to work when he got back -
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anyway i could hardly pop out from work if i wanted to

The_Banker_5

robpw2 wrote: »

i take it you don't have children ?
i know i do not but i know what its like to miss something and to be looking forward to the return to find someone else has changed the plans

Of course I have children.

And what about the rights of the grandparents or are you thinking mistakenly that the mother should have sole rights.;)

aliasojo

I think you should step back and try to see the situation without the emotion. I can completely understand why you feel the way you do, but I think you're at risk of blowing a simple situation out of proportion tbh.

You have him 24/7 most of the time, try to be the bigger person in this and think of your son. Dont spoil his time by taking a hard stance. Let him stay at his Gran's and get him home the next day.

Also if you get him home at midnight, it's hardly a good time to show off his room.

And yes, I have been in this situation with my ex husband, so I do know how you feel.

The_Banker_5

Minxy_Bella wrote: »

Excuse me?

I'm sorry but I think this reply is horrible!

The OP is the boy's mother - she should have control over where he is and where he sleeps IMO. Yes, it's very nice for the ex's parents to take him away on holiday but they have no right to dictate the terms of his return, especially as the OP has changed her work shifts to ensure that she is at home waiting for him. Besides, he is only 4 and she's missed him. I don't know how you can call a loving mother 'selfish' for wanting to see her child after a whole week away!

OP - I would tell the grandparents that that is not convenient and you would appreciate it if they could return him at the pre-arranged time. Then your ex can see him on Father's Day, which is also important.

She asked a question.........Am I being selfish?


I answered her question.

thatgirlsam

The_Banker wrote: »

Of course I have children.

And what about the rights of the grandparents or are you thinking mistakenly that the mother should have sole rights.;)

-but i have allowed them to take him in the first place - even though i had a few reservations
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-this will probably put me off saying yes next time sadly

Minxy_Bella

The_Banker wrote: »

She asked a question.........Am I being selfish?


I answered her question.

Actually, it wasn't my question - it was the OP's.

And I still think your reply was harsh.