Shared Birthday party what to do about presents

Janepig

The other thing is, that I think the "strictly no presents" or "presence not presents" is a good idea for a wedding - most people live together now before they get married and have everything they need, and what they "want" costs an awful lot, as evidenced in Nenen's post. However, for a child's party where most people buy something cheap and cheerful, then as Aliasojo has so eloquently put, it just complicates things needlessly.

Jxx

PS: My children love "cop out" parties . And if I was to decorate my house from top to bottom and leave a load of children to run riot for afew hours then I would be in the local psychiatric hospital for the next month!! Give me a playbarn and a couple of hours gossip with the other mums everytime!!

galvanizersbaby

oystercatcher wrote: »

My kids had cop out parties because at the time I was suffering from depression. There's no way I had the physical or mental energy to rush around doing all that stuff but I still wanted my kids to have some fun and enjoy themselves. I also found having to go and buy presents for other children quite stressful, not a financial problem just more hassle I didn't need. I'm sure there's loads of Mums who are just the same now.

To my mind saying "no presents but if you must then [option]" implies that you DO really want a present. People will feel they have to do whatever the option is.
I would go for the STRICTLY NO PRESENTS rule maybe add a note to say you will be giving them back if people try.

My kids too have cop out parties - would love to do one at home for them but we have a 2 bed flat with limited space available so not really an option sadly
The last party we had was my daughter's 5th and I put the same amount of effort as I would do if the party was held at home only we hired the church hall and decorated it/played traditional party games etc..
My mum baked the cake (as she is ace at cake decorating and baking) and all the kids had a great time (all 25 of them!)
Will do the same for my son in October when he turns 7 as that's what he's asked for so looking forward to that as it was great fun abeit hard work and a bit chaotic

galvanizersbaby

Nenen wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I cried with laughter reading your post... it made a brilliant start to my day and made me remember what I love most about working with children! Thank you:beer:
PS I do hope your dh likes his new pet and takes good care of Jasper... perhaps you could persuade him to join woodlouse training classes or a breed society! For his birthday I think your children should make dad a grooming and feeding set!:D

I'm not sure Jasper is still with us I'm afraid - had a quick look outside the back door this morning and he looks rather still - haven't said anything to the small people yet!
PS - he is my ex DH but still he doesn't deserve a dead woodlouse for fathers day so I think we will have to 'make' another pressie on Saturday!

oystercatcher

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I'm not sure Jasper is still with us I'm afraid - had a quick look outside the back door this morning and he looks rather still - haven't said anything to the small people yet!
PS - he is my ex DH but still he doesn't deserve a dead woodlouse for fathers day so I think we will have to 'make' another pressie on Saturday!

Maybe just hunt out a 'new' Jasper just at the last minute.
I think this is such a lovely idea it would be a shame for their Dad to miss out. One of those unrepeatable childhood things.

Nenen

oystercatcher wrote: »

Maybe just hunt out a 'new' Jasper just at the last minute.
I think this is such a lovely idea it would be a shame for their Dad to miss out. One of those unrepeatable childhood things.

I agree absolutely Oystercatcher... mind you I couldn't help laughing when I read it was ex-hubbie and saw the funny side of the metaphor... being presented with a dead louse!

Spendless

IME when I've done joint parties and I've done them for my kids (3 year gap but birthday in same month) and my son with his twin cousins the invite has read

You are invited to master Spendless party to his guests and Miss Spendless party to my daughter's guests. I've left off mentioning that they are joint parties so people don't wonder what they are meant to do.

There are several multiples in my kids schools and that is what their parents do too, you get a part invite from ONE of the triplets not all of them, so you buy one pressie not 3.

Lunar_Eclipse

inspector_monkfish wrote: »

:wall::wall::wall::wall::wall::wall:

only a woman could have started this thread;):D


take something simple like a kids birthday party, and complicate it beyond all recognition

well done :T

Brilliant!

I wouldn't mention presents on the invite. When we have been to a joint party, we have always bought gifts for both/all the birthday children. It's the social norm to give a birthday gift to someone having a birthday party.

Having said that, my youngest has been to a joint party where the parents deliberately did separate invites so parents were unaware it was a joint party and thus only took one present for the friend that invited each child. This works particularly well where the birthday children have separate friends, as could easily be the case with a mixed gender joint party.

ETA - Just read you are thinking of inviting 45 children. I would definitely say 'strictly no presents' since 45 would be obscene by a long way and I don't see how you could orchestrate it to have say a maximum of 10 gifts. I'm also wondering why 45 kids and not simply the whole class (30?), especially since it's a joint party, presumably with a boy in the same class. Children always have friends outside school, but I've only ever known people do class friends for joint parties. Maybe a playdate with an additional special friend. Not that it affects me of course!

Lunar_Eclipse

NoAngel wrote: »

When I went to partys like this when I was younger, I would receive an invitation from one of the children only. So maybe your DD can give invites to the girls, saying:

X invites you to a birthday party for X and Y

and the boy sends the boys in the class:

Y invites you to a party for X and Y

That way a present only needs to be brought by their 'own' guests

I don't think that would work. Most parents would buy a gift for X & Y and the others would feel like cheapskates when they realised.

galvanizersbaby

oystercatcher wrote: »

Maybe just hunt out a 'new' Jasper just at the last minute.
I think this is such a lovely idea it would be a shame for their Dad to miss out. One of those unrepeatable childhood things.

DD saw fit to check on Jasper this evening (incase he needed anymore grass) so didn't get a chance to find a suitable replacement in time to stop the discovery that in fact he has gone to Woodlouse heaven
DS looked for another woodlouse in garden but no luck - all is not lost however as DD has found a worm! :rotfl:

never_enough

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

DD saw fit to check on Jasper this evening (incase he needed anymore grass) so didn't get a chance to find a suitable replacement in time to stop the discovery that in fact he has gone to Woodlouse heaven
DS looked for another woodlouse in garden but no luck - all is not lost however as DD has found a worm! :rotfl:

It's just getting better & better...looking forward to hearing how that goes down on Sunday.