A new start for Mooloo

daska

Have you explored getting any help for yourself yet? If not then please do that first.

Savvy_sewing

daska wrote: »

Have you explored getting any help for yourself yet? If not then please do that first.

I am still waiting for anybody to actually reply to my calls from last week etc.
I will have to make the time, I realise that. Next week the SS are giving me a social worker for the fostering. I shall ask her to help.

Savvy_sewing

The garden was watered as it was very parched and starting to wilt. But as I had to use the watering can it was a bit of an effort. It will need to be done again later when DGD is in bed. I may be able to borrow the neighbours hosepipe later. Which will make it an awful lot easier.
I did some kitchen jobs and a load of washing. Which I still need to hang out.
We have just had our tea. Well DGD is still eating hers.
Its still very hot. I am sticking to the chair. I will have to find a throw to put over it as its a leather one. The winter throws were put away, and now I will need to dig out something lighter that would be more comfy to sit on.
Seems very quite without DS and twin1 here. No loud music, or bodies everywhere!.
Still have a list thats growing, but thats the story of my life these days.

I am annoyed that I have not managed to sew once this week! and I doubt that I will get around to doing any today either!
Tomorrow its yet another trip to the twins, to pick up twin1 for Play and Stay, with DGD and then twin2's BF has asked me if I can help him take some rubbish to the tip. (Its not very far from theirs), so I will do that when I have dropped DGD off, and he is going to mow my parents lawn for me afterwards.
That will fill the time while DGD is with her Mum. then I will be coming home and trying to relax for the weekend to come. I have DGD this weekend, but I am hoping that my BF will be coming over again. Then we will get back into the routine of my going down when DGD is away.
I have no plans to go anywhere on the weekend. But catch up on the garden weeding etc, and thinning out the cabbages etc etc! Next week is getting pretty full already alas!
Perhaps I will have an easier week the one after? Once the girls have thier solicitors in place perhaps I will be able to bow out of dealing with SS for their side of things, and will only have to deal with them for DGD and myself? We can hope anyway.

Time to make another move. I have my wool into soak, so need to move it on now. Then get it on a flat surface to dry. As its so warm it should dry quiet quickly anyway. Then we will see if I can get the rest of the grass out of it and use it for stuffing some pincushions etc.

Savvy_sewing

Well I didnt actually get any of the things I wanted to done last night. Basically as I just didnt have the energy.
This morning is Play and Stay. But hopefully will be back at home by lunchtime and can potter then!.

daska

Mooloo wrote: »

I am still waiting for anybody to actually reply to my calls from last week etc.
I will have to make the time, I realise that. Next week the SS are giving me a social worker for the fostering. I shall ask her to help.

Use your GP to do the referral. My experience with Adult SS was that they didn't respond to my contact but were in touch ASAP when my GP got in touch.

Savvy_sewing

Finally home, hopefully for the weekend and can rest. Had enough running around after the family and told them no more!.
My time now.

Savvy_sewing

Well I just lost a post somewhere! cyber space then!.

Savvy_sewing

Today, I re read the begining of this thread.
I came to this cottage to let go! But nothing has changed.
For the last 3 years of my life, I have dedicated it to helping my children. To the detriment of my health, my job, and my relationships. (well I dedicated the last 23 years but with the children due, births etc etc)

Well today, when I went to collect Twin1 from her place to take her and DGD to the play and stay, you could not see the floor in her house!.
She had a sleep over of people who I do not agree with, as well as her twin sister and her new BF.
I took twin2 back to her house, and that was in nearly as much mess, all over again.
I used my time, that was set to be reading in my parents house, taking rubbish to the tip with the said BF.

I lost my temper and told them that it was their inappropriate friends or me.
Currently its the friends.
So I have spent the day fuming.
But what is the point.
They are not going to change.
They are not going to have the capacity to do things no matter how hard I try.

I can honestly say that I am wearing myself out fighting thier causes and its a wasted cause. The minute I go out the door it all goes back to chaos.

When I wrote this thread it was to be a new start. Instead it was worse.

I have argued with DS about his friends etc as well.

So no matter what i do, I am just burning myself out. They will continue to let me.
The bank balance was so low today that without juggling I would not have been able to have my food delivery. Why? Becuase I am always running around after them, and helping them. Not just the twins but DS too.

I will not be any better.
They will not be any better.
What is the point?

DGD and I could do things that were fun if we were not running around after the family.

If the SS say that DGD and I are ok here, then its time to do what I can just for her.
I cannot have the boys.
I cannot fight the battles when I no longer believe in them myself.

Both twins have a solicitor now.
Both twins have Bromford Support Workers.
they should be helped. But I have had enough.

My BF has said that they are taking the preverbial, and to be honest I am getting to the stage now, where i believe him.

I have been so close to loosing my relationship becuase of my family.
But do I deserve a life? Do I deserve to have love and companionship?
I think that I do.
Before its too late.

queen_of_string

I think you do too. ((hugs))

Errata

Of course you deserve a life. I've been reading your threads for years now, and all that seems to happen is one crisis follows another without fail.
Things won't change until you step away. I know you keep saying you will, but until you do things could pretty much carry on the same way for the foreseeable future.
I don't think the twins are taking the mick, I think they're just incapable of 'getting it' and perhaps always will be. They won't change in the way you want them to, so if you want things to change then you have to change.
Virtual cup of tea and a choccy biscuit for you from me.