A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

Hi Mooloo, I'm pleased to hear you managed to recharge your batteries at BF's house.

Just one question... I think I'm getting in a muddle as I thought Twin2 was the boys' mum and Twin1 was DGD's mum?

I hope you have a lovely restful weekend, maybe even do a little sewing & gardening

Your right, its me that typed it wrongly! I do get confused trying to keep things updated and not use names! Sorry about that.

Savvy_sewing

Morning.
Well I am staying at home this weekend. Biggest of Mooloo came to collect DGD around 6.30 last night. Bonus as I wasnt expecting to have the evening off. Its been 3 weeks since she last had her, so its no wonder I was starting to be frazzled over the last week or so. Thank goodness that I had those few days away in Oxford.
I collected DS yesterday lunchtime, and he did the lawns for me. (Dont ask a teenager to do more than one job, it doesnt seem to compute!). Well in the evening, Twin2 rang him and asked whether he was going back for the weekend. So after i thought that he was coming home to stay, he wanted to go back. I wonder if thats also becuase my BF is coming? Well anyway after DGD had gone it meant that we could take her car seat out, and put the seats down, and take a load of Twin2's things back to her house.
I was surprised that she came out of the house, while i was parked up, and came and leant in the window, kissed me and said "Hello Mummy". As if nothing had ever happened.? She did say that the meeting the day before went well< but then one of her friends came out of the house and so nothing much more was said other then that the Father of DGS1 had turned up, but the father of DGS 2 had not. I think that DGS1's Dad will be allowed access again, but in a visiting centre. Think thats what she meant.
I did say to her that I hope that she didnt think that it was going to be "all roses", as I expect an apology for the way she has treated me, and that she had hurt me badly, and its going to take some time to get sorted out.
She didnt really answer that one. But I have to remember that she has learning difficulties and that perhaps she had "forgotten" what she had done, or was not able to comprehend what she had done.
Apparantly the social worker had gone to collect her for the meeting after I had rung her on Tuesday to say that twin2 was home, and that I was away and would not be attending the meetings.
I also believe that Twin2 is to get visiting access on Tuesday and Thursday. So I said what about my visiting rights, but she didnt know.
I will ring the SS on Monday and see.
I came home alone.

I watched the rest of Brit Talent, and then had a shower etc and relaxed.

This morning, I have hung out one load of washing, and washed another load. Washed up and cleared the kitchen and been trying to clean the cooker top which has started to get burn marks around the rings. But have had to leave it for a while, as my arm is not strong enough to rub for long!.
BF is coming after he has watched his daughter run in her Race for Life. So its going to give me the majority of the day here in the cottage to catch up as usual.
I wish I could manage to do all the things that I want to do. But I will have to let my body dictate the pace rather then my mind.

The to do list will just have to be added to, and I will just have to prioritise.
Yesterday when i got back, the frame work in my canvas wardrobe had snapped with the weight of my clothes, Oops, I do have too many clothes I no longer really wear. (Suits from my management days). so I will have to add clearing out my wardrobes to the list, and see if there is a way of fixing the frame? I hope I dont have to buy another wardrobe, (has to be a canvas one as cannot get an ordinary wardrobe up the stairs. too narrow and too steep with a door at the bottom.

Right sitting here updating is not going to get the jobs done.

daska

Are you still not getting any practical support? I'm worried that you are still attempting to keep up with everything without physical help. Might it be worth getting in touch with the DPN to ask where you stand in regard to this. They have an advocate so they may be able to offer more than just advice.

Savvy_sewing

daska wrote: »

Are you still not getting any practical support? I'm worried that you are still attempting to keep up with everything without physical help. Might it be worth getting in touch with the DPN to ask where you stand in regard to this. They have an advocate so they may be able to offer more than just advice.

I am not sure that I qualify, as I am not quite disabled. Or so the system tells me. Actually I am doing quite well at the moment, so would feel awkward asking for physical help apart from the family.
But I have ear marked the site and will see how things pan out. Thankyou for worrying about me, but I am not doing too badly. Have found that the happy medium with my medication is to have 3 gabapentin ontop of the voltaral, and 2 paracetamol, 3 times a day. That leaves me 2 paracetamol to be able to take if I am having a tougher day.
I am also trying harder to allocate myself small bites of time. So that I dont over doo things. Its frustrating but its helping a bit.
I just over did it in the garden yesterday, becuase I forgot to time myself!. But I went to bed with the heatpads after a hot shower and I was not too bad this morning. Just a bit achey from using the muscles I dont use much!.

now I am off to take the car load of boxes to the twins and off load. Giving me back most of my dining room at last.

BF is coming over later and is going to help with the heavier stuff in the garden.

Monday I DS is coming back home and he can help me to move the furniture, (hopefully along with one of his mates!):D

gizmo111

Hi Mooloo,

This organisation is a godsend to parents and may be able to offer you some support with DGD http://www.home-start.org.uk/homepage

daska

It doesn't necessarily have to involve strangers coming into your home. In fact, you can even employ family members I get a budget to help with my parenting role as well with my personal needs and among other things it helps with getting DS2 to pre-school. Bear it in mind, it might make all the difference.

Savvy_sewing

daska wrote: »

It doesn't necessarily have to involve strangers coming into your home. In fact, you can even employ family members I get a budget to help with my parenting role as well with my personal needs and among other things it helps with getting DS2 to pre-school. Bear it in mind, it might make all the difference.

Thanks daska, I will.
I think I have to stop trying to be so independant and give in to some of the physical problems that I do come across with my Sponydlosis at times. Some times are much worse than others.

Savvy_sewing

gizmo111 wrote: »

Hi Mooloo,

This organisation is a godsend to parents and may be able to offer you some support with DGD http://www.home-start.org.uk/homepage

We have been trying to get homestart help for twin2, (and twin1 originally) since we moved to Northamptonshire, but I never thought about them being able to help me. I shall enquire.! Thanks.

Why do I not think about these things for me, when I was trying to get them for the girls!.? I have been concentrating on their needs and wants and not on mine really. Well I must concentrate on Number one (and a half) as previously mentioned.

This weekend I stayed back here at the cottage and managed to get a good car load of things back to its rightfull owners and or the local tip. Then my BF came late afternoon, and he helped with the garden. He worked so hard for me, and now the vegetables are in, and the hanging baskets have had new plants and I've replanted the plants from the baskets into the front flower beds, and they hopefully will flower there next year.

Biggest of Mooloo had DGD for the weekend and has just rung to tell me they are on thier way back now.

The peace will be shattered for an hour or so, but at least she will be going to bed and will sleep for me.

Its rainging here now. But as its evening, its just going to save me from having to go out and borrow next doors hose pipe.

Tomorrow we are going to Northampton to take Twin1 to sign on, and I get a little time in a couple of the charity shops.. My guilty pleasure.:D

daska

Mooloo wrote: »

Thanks daska, I will.
I think I have to stop trying to be so independant and give in to some of the physical problems that I do come across with my Sponydlosis at times. Some times are much worse than others.

I know exactly how difficult that can be. Accepting that I am no longer able to organise and do everything for everybody has been the single most difficult thing for me to come to terms with since finding myself disabled. So I can't walk to the shops, no problem, I get a scooter and I can get out to buy the milk, but that I can't take the kids rockpooling - heartbreaking. So I can't shower, hey, I'll go smelly for a couple of days (or longer eugh!) but that I can't bath DS2, heartbreaking. So I can't remember things I need to do on a daily basis, no problem I have lists and a calendar, but that even with lists I can't organise enormous surprise parties - heartbreaking. It can take a long time to accept that asking for help when it would be beneficial (or even demanding help when necessary) is acceptable or even, dare I say it, a bl00dy good idea.

Ultimately it isn't just you who will benefit from accepting help because, by utilising the help available, you will be able to achieve more for your children and grandchildren, and quite possibly have more left over for yourself and your BF.

I think you're doing a wonderful job. :A

Savvy_sewing

daska wrote: »

I know exactly how difficult that can be. Accepting that I am no longer able to organise and do everything for everybody has been the single most difficult thing for me to come to terms with since finding myself disabled. So I can't walk to the shops, no problem, I get a scooter and I can get out to buy the milk, but that I can't take the kids rockpooling - heartbreaking. So I can't shower, hey, I'll go smelly for a couple of days (or longer eugh!) but that I can't bath DS2, heartbreaking. So I can't remember things I need to do on a daily basis, no problem I have lists and a calendar, but that even with lists I can't organise enormous surprise parties - heartbreaking. It can take a long time to accept that asking for help when it would be beneficial (or even demanding help when necessary) is acceptable or even, dare I say it, a bl00dy good idea.

Ultimately it isn't just you who will benefit from accepting help because, by utilising the help available, you will be able to achieve more for your children and grandchildren, and quite possibly have more left over for yourself and your BF.

I think you're doing a wonderful job. :A

Oh Daska I think you sound so wonderful yourself. I am not so wonderful. i just learch from one crisis point to the next. Trying to keep my mind organised, and put it into practise.
Trying to be as normal as I can for as long as I can.
Trying to be strong when I feel exhausted.
Keeping on going when I really should be resting.
Battling for others and not for myself.

My arm is not so good yet. Have taken the medication, but its not kicked in as yet. Hope that it does soon.
DGD has already disappeared off into the bathroom twice, and the kitchen once, she is already testing me!. Half a loo roll down the toilet. this is the newest thing. Along with flushing the loo and washing her hands and teeth every 5 minutes. !
Now she has just gone again..