A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

Morning came all too soon!.
I had a restless night, and woke with nightmares a few times. Then DGD decided that by 5.50 it was time to wake up, and not go back to sleep! The new batch of pull ups, are leaking too. So I must watch what she is drinking during the evening, and really cut it down. Neither the Mr S, or the MR A or even the famous brands are anygood at night. I suppose I am supposed to have a different type for nighttimes? but who can afford to keep several different types of nappies when they grow so fast. So more sheets to wash today, along with Pjamas. When our money comes back in next week, I will need to buy her some more Pjamas, and cardigans, or make something. ... So easy to do, and yet unable to do, becuase of tiredness, or pain. So frustrating. I am sure I have plenty of fabrics lurking that would make the pj's at least.

DGD is watching The Jungle Book on Video, andis marching up and down the rug with the elephants at the moment. ! I think I will need to scour the charity shops for some of the videos, as I only have the few we picked up when we were out with Mum last week. Makes a change from Cbbies. But as my Sky doesnt work anymore, we cannot get that channel anymore.

I have text BF to see how he is feeling, (I know he had to get up early to take his daughter to her job!), but he hasnt replied. I am hoping he is feeling better today. Then perhaps we can arrange to go and visit.

Not sure what the weather is going to do here, as the TV channel I get is not for this area.(Dont ask!).
There are masses of things that need to be done in the garden. I am fighting a loosing battle at the moment with all the weeds etc. The veg patch is overgrowing very fast and the boarders are a nightmare. I dont seem to have the energy to get on top of it!. Perhaps I can try a bit harder, and do a few more minutes each day then the day before, I just worry I will do too much. Relying on DS has not worked as he is hardly ever here, and i have to drag him here when he does come!. (Remember earlier in the week, or was that the end of last week, get my days all mixed up!).

I am waiting for my tablets to "kick in", and I am going to have to do something about the dining room, I can potter in my dressing gown. The washing is in heaps, I would say piles but that sounds too organised! I need to divide it into what can be put away with out ironing, and what needs to be ironed. THats a task I hate, and find difficult to do. But if I dont regain the dining room soon, I think I may loose my sanity!. There are still boxes and bags of the families things, and junk etc all around the dining room, and as I have to walk through it to get to the kitchen, or the bathroom, I am seeing it all the time, and it is depressing me even more.

As you all know I struggled with depression the last year, and it took me from January last year till the August to get off of Antidepressants, and I really do not want to go back on them. But I can see the signs, feel the mood swings and I really have to fight myself back into positivity. The trouble with the twins/social etc etc really takes its toll on me, and I spiral downwards all too often. Then it all becomes just too much for me. I think this is what has been happening to me the last few weeks. Tears, stress and overloaded. All the signs and messages have been coming through.

So its survival tactics now. To get back out of the doledrums, beat the depression, and move onwards again.! (which is easier said then done of course. what isnt?). I am finding that I am needing to give myself a bit of a motivational talk. I need to turn around the way that I am thinking as at the moment, the feelings of resentment have risen highly, and that is not going to do me, or DGD any good at all.

When I moved into this cottage a year ago, and started this second thread, I was hoping to have a new start. But it just didnt really last very long at all. So perhaps its a bit like making new years resolutions, we fall off of the wagon early on. Well I suppose I am only one year into the resolutions, and its early days in a way. Well thats the way I am going to have to look at things. And that means that its try, try, and try again.

I have got to get out of the Defeatist mode that i am in at the moment.
I put my Paul McKenna, Confidence CD last night, as I went to bed, hoping to re ignite the spark that gets me going again. It will take me a few days, or weeks to turn myself around from this situation, but I am determind that I am not going to be back on anti-depressants again, or that I am not going to be in such pain from added stress, that I am back in my bed all the time. (The winter before last, I was in bed by lunchtime often,. as the morning with the family was enough. I was exhausted and had to retreat to my room,). I dont want to be doing that again. Well I cannot now I have DGD here to care for.
I have to remember that things will get easier, and that there will be good times ahead. I have to savour the silly bits, where we manage to get a laugh etc, and where ever there are positives. Why is it that Negatives always seem to overshadow the positives?

Where in life did I change from an optimistic person to a pessimistic one?

whiteguineapig

mooloo for the garden get a weed killer spray, get one of the max ones, £4.99 from morrisons i think, then spray a few each day, probably not enviromentally friendly i know but a real godsend to those of us with big gardens and bad backs
i used to try and dig the dandelions out but now i just spray them

Savvy_sewing

Ideally I had wanted to have an organic garden, but realistically with no help, its just not going to be possible.
My next door neighbours on the other side of the wall, (with a stone/concrete garden) are Weed Killing company. Perhaps I will ask him if he can have a go for me.(Again...I did ask him last year). But I hardly ever see them, they are off out at about 6.30 every morning, and often back late. I have probably only talked to them for about 3 times in the last year!!
I suppose the thing is, I really dont like asking people for help.! Says me who gets lots of advice from the best people in the world, (everyone here!).

Right, better move, I have been sitting typing (apart from a run to the loo for DGD who is in pants at the moment), for 2 hours! God where did that time go?

whiteguineapig

mooloo there is one version thats £3.99 and this takes about 3 days to kill weeds, but the other one is about £4.99 and this is far better , it is the one that kills them in about 3 hours then they just shrivel up
it is well worth getting the dearer one, it is a spray so you just need to put on a rubber glove and get spraying, it has a nearly instant effect you could try this before you ask them

Savvy_sewing

whiteguineapig wrote: »

mooloo there is one version thats £3.99 and this takes about 3 days to kill weeds, but the other one is about £4.99 and this is far better , it is the one that kills them in about 3 hours then they just shrivel up
it is well worth getting the dearer one, it is a spray so you just need to put on a rubber glove and get spraying, it has a nearly instant effect you could try this before you ask them

Thanks, I will put it on the list for when i get to town next. Probably be when either I get to go to Oxford to see BF in the week, or the following Monday if I have to take Twin1 to sign on!. (She never has any bus fare money by then, and at over £6 its a lot out of £50 she gets!). Heaven help when she has to start paying back the Budgeting Loan she got before she moved!.

grandma247

If you already have plants in that you do not want to kill with the weed killer get a plastic disposable cup and cut the bottom off it. Spray through the cup and it will prevent the spray drifting.

Savvy_sewing

grandma247 wrote: »

If you already have plants in that you do not want to kill with the weed killer get a plastic disposable cup and cut the bottom off it. Spray through the cup and it will prevent the sparay drifting.

Oh what a brilliant idea. Have some plastic cups somewhere in the utility room!

Just started to tidy up the mess under the single bed in DGD/DS's old room. Have come across his iceskates! One of the blade covers is missing. But I am thinking that perhaps we could sell them off. Will have to clean them up a bit etc, but thats another project to do. mmm
The rubbish is terrible. I shall be having words when I next see him!.
Was supposed to be doing the dining room but was sidetracked by DGD shouting about a spiders web... one thing leads to another!.:D

Savvy_Sue

whiteguineapig wrote: »

mooloo for the garden get a weed killer spray, get one of the max ones, £4.99 from morrisons i think, then spray a few each day, probably not enviromentally friendly i know but a real godsend to those of us with big gardens and bad backs
i used to try and dig the dandelions out but now i just spray them

DH has a flame thrower for the weeds. :rotfl:

Well, it's not really a flame thrower, it's a small burner thing on a long stalk, operated by a small gas canister. No bending.

Although I haven't seen him play with it lately, he's back to spraying, I shall have to ask why he gave up.

oystercatcher

Mooloo, I have loads of Disney videos etc you could have for DGD but not sure how I could get them to you as they would cost a bomb to post and I can't drive far as I have the same condition as Molly41 (we chat from another forum).
I haven't commented much as don't know what to say but read and really feel for you at the moment.

Molly41

Hi Oystercatcher,
Lovely to hear from you. Hope you are doing ok. Maybe send just the videos and not the cases via parcel post? Im always pleasantly surprised how reasonable that is? Otherwise perhaps we are in Leicester at the same time? Hugs xxx