A new start for Mooloo

SuziQ

Enjoy tonight Mooloo as it's obviously a rare special thing to have your DS, Twin1 and DGD with you. I agree with Errata about Twin2- the lack of ability to empathise with her children's needs and for her to perform the role of responsible mother is why the 2 boys are now in care, and nothing has changed so her reaction will seem uncaring-perhaps that is all she is capable of? It's very sad for all involved, but I know how you feel in as much as my youngest is Autistic and I get so frustarted sometimes with his lack of ability to see how his behaviour affects others: no point me getting frustrated and angry as it is just the way he is, however I am only human, and I DO get angry and frustrated sometimes-doesn't mean I don't loveh im or that I'm a bad mum, and it's the same with you: you are viewing this situation from a normal mother/grandmothers perspective ( I hate the word normal but I am sure you know what I mean)whilst she can only see it with her limited ability. Really she was a child with children, with the same impaired lack of forward thinking and sense of responsibility.

You never know, she may yet turn things around.

Savvy_Sue

whiteguineapig wrote: »

i am wondering if twin 2 will be able to stay in her home without the children living with her?

And how long does she plan to be away for? Having your son stay there may be a breach of her tenancy, not that it would do any good to tell her that ...

I can't think what else to say, the whole thing has left me speechless again, so sending hugs ...

Savvy_sewing

Morning,
I dont know what to think, or even say anymore.
Twin1 has to sign on this morning in Northampton, then get back to sign for her new tenancy with the charity homes. Then this afternoon DGD's social worker is coming to visit. Oh and bring me paperwork about residency. Which I am not going to do!. She wants to refer mum to the Adult Team (again). We will see if she gets anyfurther then her predecessors then!.
I suppose it will also be around 6 weeks since she last say DGD. She has only been here to the cottage once.
The cottage is not as clean and tidy as I would have liked. But I am not supper woman. Just told Twin1 to tidy the bedroom that she has been sharing with DGD, so that its not a mess for me when she has gone.
Its a bit of a sad day, as she has lived with us for nearly a month now, and DGD is going to sorely miss her mummy, and have to revert to Granny again. I will miss her, as she has done the early mornings, and any nights too!! Also kept DGD busy with colouring and playing with plasticine etc etc. (Mum enjoys those kind of activities).
DS wants to go and stay at his sisters. To "house sit" to makesure that none of her so called friends use it and trash it. (Now as he is not tidy that will be interesting). But he will only be 8 miles away instead of 38, so I have to feel a bit happier about that. Told him he needs to register with the job centre here then so that he gets his money.
He will have to tell the family he was living with that he is coming back, as they were getting housing benefit for him. They will miss that money thats for sure.
I am not sure that he wants to come home to me, until/unless I am relocated. But we will see in time. Nothings ever constant in my family so who knows.

I have a busy week ahead of me, and I am hoping that the volcanic ash doesnt affect my little trip to Italy at the weekend.! I will be gutted if I cannot get away.
Although I would probably at least stay at BF's if we get grounded.

Better get on, there is so much to sort out this week, and I have limited movement. Also forgot to get my prescription, so have run out of my voltaral!. eek, not the best time. I am getting massess of pins and needles down the left side, and my skin is "crawling" so I will have to fit a trip to the chemist in as well. Least my prescription should be ready waiting for me.

whiteguineapig

it is none of my business but i think you should give your son
a) lots of love
b) lots of support
c) lifts if he needs them and you have time
d) food/meals

but definatly neither give nor lend him any money at all
he has managed without your help for some time now and i remember before you were often lending him money
if you want to treat him you could take him to tesco sale and get him something new to wear
please disregard this mooloo if you want i just don't think he should ask you for loans

floss2

Mooloo, it sounds as though DS's time away from home has matured him a bit - I don't think he would have thought about protecting his sister's home before now, let alone offered to stay there to keep it safe.

Jo4

Mooloo, it will be nice for you to have your son nearer to you. Can I ask who is going to look after DGD when you are away or are SS expecting you to take her with you?

My 18 year old niece went to Disney, Paris last week on Tuesday 4th May and she was supposed to fly home last night but her flight was cancelled. I had been previously and I said it was great so she decided it must be good if I said so and therefore she decided to book it. She was flying with Easyjet and Easyjets staff members told her at the airport she needed to get internet access and either cancel or reschedule her flight. She sent me a text which said "Phone me". I phoned her and in the end up the next flight I could get her on was Thursdays, 13th May, and I got her a hotel which is only 2kms from the airport. She has her bank card with her so at least her Mum & Dad can put money in for her on this side so she can take money out over there although she still has £100 to keep her going so she wasn't doing too bad.

She told me a few years ago she thinks of me as a big sister rather than an Aunt (I think that is a poilite way of saying I am a crap Aunt ) and every time she is stuck, like last night, she phones me and hubby first not to her own house where she lives with her Mum, Dad, sisters and brothers. Fingers crossed she gets home on Thursday.

You would need to get packing your bags/cases for going on your much needed and deserved break and I sincerely hope the same thing does not happen to you as has happened to my niece.

Savvy_sewing

Jo4 wrote: »

Mooloo, it will be nice for you to have your son nearer to you. Can I ask who is going to look after DGD when you are away or are SS expecting you to take her with you?

My 18 year old niece went to Disney, Paris last week on Tuesday 4th May and she was supposed to fly home last night but her flight was cancelled. I had been previously and I said it was great so she decided it must be good if I said so and therefore she decided to book it. She was flying with Easyjet and Easyjets staff members told her at the airport she needed to get internet access and either cancel or reschedule her flight. She sent me a text which said "Phone me". I phoned her and in the end up the next flight I could get her on was Thursdays, 13th May, and I got her a hotel which is only 2kms from the airport. She has her bank card with her so at least her Mum & Dad can put money in for her on this side so she can take money out over there although she still has £100 to keep her going so she wasn't doing too bad.

She told me a few years ago she thinks of me as a big sister rather than an Aunt (I think that is a poilite way of saying I am a crap Aunt ) and every time she is stuck, like last night, she phones me and hubby first not to her own house where she lives with her Mum, Dad, sisters and brothers. Fingers crossed she gets home on Thursday.

You would need to get packing your bags/cases for going on your much needed and deserved break and I sincerely hope the same thing does not happen to you as has happened to my niece.

Hi Jo,
I think its becuase you are a good Aunt that she rings you first.
In teenagers terms its cool to be classed as a big sister!.

DS coming back will no doubt cost me more money but I will take heed.

Re the flights, I hope we are OK. But if not, at least I can access my bank.
I will only have a flight bag, so not a lot to pack. We are only going for two nights. We fly early Sat morning and come back early monday.
(God and Volcanic ash willing). I shall have to be inventive with what I pack!
The challenge is usually shoes for me! I used to take at least 4 or 5 pairs away with me. This time it will have to be just 2.!
The really nice dress I want to wear one evening may have to wait, as I dont have the right shoes!! Ha, its a woman thing.

BF wants to be able to walk on and off the plane and out onto a bus and not wait for the luggage carousel. So I have a very small suitcase indeed.

Savvy_sewing

I postponed the social worker until tomorrow morning. Which was just as well, as there is so much going on at the moment. I also warned her to get the right paperwork sorted out as I had the forms from the Fostering team assessment next week. I also asked for copies please. She said that I had put her on a learning curve, as she had only ever placed children with families on a voluntary basis and never under section 38 of the childrens act. So she is learning what to do.! (What a sham!).

I had a call when I got back from the other social workers, (gets confussing), and they have arranged for an hours contact at a family centre for me on Thursday to see the boys.

I have rung the MUm and asked if she will be back. (Risked the wrath of hers) and she was actually polite to me, dispite our call on saturday. But she said she is not coming back until a week on Saturday. I had hoped she would want to see the boys more then the boyfriend.

Anyway, I have a busy schedule ahead, as usual.
I am trying to keep my head straight, and I am still whirling. Its so difficult.

Oh and the SW for DGD has said that they are transfering her to another team, So we will have yet another social worker! I am sick to the back teeth of all of this.

Savvy_sewing

p.s.
Biggest of mooloo is caring for DGD while I am away. She still has her for us, every other weekend. This time she is just having her an extra night for me. If she didnt have her, I would not be able to go. We do not have a passport for DGD as yet, although I did get a form in the post this week. Its something I will sort out later on. Too much to sort out at the moment. I am not sure I am on my head or my heels.

tired_mum

Hi Mooloo Hope Twin 1s move goes well and she manages to settle in her new home as well as seeing her daughter and having a close relationship with a view to having her back
As for Twin 2 dont know what to say does the new boyfriend have learning difficulties? I cannot understand how she can just dismiss the responsibility of her boys so easily not even wanting to see them has she not seen enough via her sister to realise that she is in danger of loosing them forever surely he cant want someone who just walks out on her children hope the contact centre goes well for you
DS is coming home thats great news sounds like he is stepping up to the mark
Have a lovely weekend a way it will do you the power of good
Take Care and be sure to put yourself first