A new start for Mooloo

Errata

Of course it makes sense. You just have to make sure everything makes sense to people who will start from a base of knowing nothing about your family's problems and be able to give a good and very accurate answer when they ask "So, what do you want then?"
I'm playing devils advocate here, and hope you understand.
Right now, it seens there is no area of your or your family's life that isn't in a state of upheaval, you must feel utterly swamped and it's difficult to remember "when you're trying to get rid of the alligators that your prime objective is to drain the swamp."

Savvy_sewing

I feel exhausted today.
I feel that I cannot be expected to carry on, without an end in site.
I feel that I am going mad at times.

My son has gone away, and has given up on his apprenticeship.
My twin1 doesnt seem to grasp she may loose her daughter, we are yet to find out, and that time is hanging around my neck, like a noose.
My twin2 is besotted with an idiot who is mentally abusing her, and physically he is abusing my grandson, if he is hitting him, and throwing him around like a rag doll?
Why this Social Worker is not acting as fast as twin1's I do not know. I fear that the hitting around the head of a child is much worse then living in caos!
I just want respite care, education and emotional support I suppose.

The only one of my children that is not too troubled, is Biggest of Mooloo's. She is back with her Boyfriend and are talking about getting together. She is even researching the possibility of fostering DGD, if they do refuse to let her go back to her mother. But she too, could not cope with the others as well.

I have tried to let my family live their own lives, as the Social Services told me I had to do, but look where it has got us? 2 years down the line and its all the samee.

I do lurch from one disaster to the other.
I do have to fight fires, and I am not getting to enjoy my grandchildren as I am supposed to do.
I am not able to have my own life. I cannot live with my fella, I cannot go out to work anymore. It does get me down.

This Valentines Twin1 has been asked out, and I will be sat at home looking after her child, when last year, I was able to be with my fella, and have the romance. (least I think we managed it last year, or was it the year before?)

I think that most people in my situation would only want the same.?

jamieboy

Long time lurker, would it serve any purpose if all the followers of Mooloos thread signed an online petition to back up her letters to her MP or anyone else she needs to write to. Might not be feaseable but just a thought.

Errata

My twin2 is besotted with an idiot who is mentally abusing her, and physically he is abusing my grandson, if he is hitting him, and throwing him around like a rag doll?

Picking up on this because it sounds like a very serious and emergency situation. Are the police involved ? Have you spoken to the police ? Has your DGS been examined by a doctor for injuries and signs of abuse ?

Savvy_sewing

no the police have not been involved as there were no signs on DGS when the social workers visited after the call. However they are going to "monitor" the situation. They are working on an annonymous call, or several calls I believe.

I have spoken to my daughter when "he" was not there, and she has not denied things. All she said is that he would not listen to her. She doesnt have the strength over him.
I have told her that they may have to remove her Boyfriend, or else her eldest Son, if there are any signs of physical harm to him.
I do not know if she understands the significance of all of this or not.
I cannot involve the police as I am not a witness. I cannot act on hearsay.
She will not testify against him. She dropped the charges when he stole her money last year. He has made her believe that she is worthless, that she cannot cope without him, that she needs him.
We are trying to get her to understand that this is inappropriate behaviour,but it smacks (pardon the pun) of the first boyfriend and the father of the child that is "possibly" being smacked!!.

I am afraid that Social Services in this situation are probably not going to act as ruthlessly as the ones in my other daughters case.

I have just got off of the phone to Twin1's social worker. she acknowledged I had written a very good letter, and that they have also had an email from my MP asking about our case.

She still has no answers for me, and has forwarded my letter to the relevant department. Lets hope they rattle the cages.
I told her that I was ringing her to tell her that I was having a bad day, and that if I was getting any support then DGD could have been going to Nursery, to give me rest etc. I dont want money to line my pocket. I just want to be able to do what is necessary to care for DGD.
She is going to get off the phone to me, and ring up and find out whats happening, but she cannot promise anything. Well there is nothing new there is there.

Savvy_sewing

I think we better have some lunch! look at the time.
DGD has changed out of her pjamas and has put on spotty tights, and a zip up hoody. She can nearly dress herself on her own, if you dont mind the colour scheme and the tights being the wrong way around!.
This typing is not actually helping me, and sitting in one place is just agravating things too.
So maybe hibernating is not going to last long for me!

Keeping_Motivated

Hi Mooloo

I'm not sure if someone has already mentioned the Family Rights Group (they have a website) but I thought this was interesting and I'll copy it into my post for you to read, its from their website:

Latest news and campaigns



CAMPAIGN FOR A NATIONAL FINANCIAL ALLOWANCE AND SUPPORT

Currently many grandparents and other family and friends carers raising children on the brink of care receive little or any support from the local authority. Yet many of these carers are impoverished, living in overcrowded accommodation and raising extremely disturbed children.
Now Family Rights Group is leading the campaign on behalf of the Kinship Care Alliance to end the current postcode lottery and improve financial and other support services available to family and friends carers.
Please make your views known to your MP - click here to take action

To read the Kinship Care Alliance's recommendations click here
To read the Kinship Care Alliance's background policy context paper click here
We welcome endorsements from organisations and individuals to the policy paper and recommendations - please contact [EMAIL="cashley@frg.org.uk"]cashley@frg.org.uk[/EMAIL]

bertiebots

Did the SW say if she was going to call you back today? Sounds at least a little possitive if the MP has contacted them. Hope you have the energy to follow up and speak to her today and at least get some conformation that she is doing something.
Bless DGD with her spotty tights x.

Savvy_sewing

Well DGD has gone for a sleep, about an hour ago. Minus the spotty tights.
the social worker rang, left a messge on the answer machine, saying they are not going to tell us anything until the report is issued on the 16th February.
So with DGD situation we have no news until then.
The meeting with the social for twin2 is currently in progress.

I managed to get into gear, lunchtime tablets have started to help. The upped doseage of gabapentin plus the Paracetamol, and the voltarol.
So I have dressed, and gone outside and managed to find some wood i could carry in. By delivery on Saturday I think I will be totally out.

I have started to make my Valentines card for BF, as I wanted to make a personal one. I dont have much money to purchase one, but i think a homemade one will do. I have already made some Valentine heart shaped chocolates for him. Made them with Value Choccy at 28p a bar, melted them and used heart shaped ice cube trays. Not the best in the world, but hey. Think of the love in melting the chocolate!!! Got to make some white ones next. Thinking of mixing the two chocs like they do with those belgian sea shells?
I am going to switch my mind off for now. I cannot do any more today. So while DGD is asleep, a little bit of craft making.

queen_of_string

Personally speaking, I think homemade is better and chocolate is always good!! Sounds like you got some useful stuff done. I think it is still the case that the authority have to reply to an MP's enquiry within 14 days. Used to be a PITA to get one as you had to reply sensibly in the time frame.

I also noticed you are smacking great big holes in that water bill, so woo go you !