Marathons, Money and Motivation

doodledo_2

Whats he said chick?

CAFCGirl

that basically as soon as my replacement is trained up to my standard w'll just end my contract.... i had thought of staying on till christmas but i know hes probably hurt by it all.....

he also said something about an assumption about what i wanted in my life and he was wrong....
when we were leaving though he did say he thinks some of it came out wrong so we're going to talk about it tomorrow.....

thing is when i think about what it is im going to be doing, im really looking forward to cutting down on the stress aspects of my life and having some time to do different things, and concentrate on getting my mental and emotional state back to where it should be.....
my boss's fiancee who also works with us but is on maternity spoke to me as well and we had a really good chat and she pointed out that perhaps i didnt take the time that i should to really grieve for the losses....and that working is a distraction for me from other things... and that as much as my boss sees me moving as just another distraction we agreed it depends on whether im moving to run away, or if im moving to find myself....

clearmydebts

CAFCGirl wrote: »

that basically as soon as my replacement is trained up to my standard w'll just end my contract.... i had thought of staying on till christmas but i know hes probably hurt by it all.....

he also said something about an assumption about what i wanted in my life and he was wrong....
when we were leaving though he did say he thinks some of it came out wrong so we're going to talk about it tomorrow.....

thing is when i think about what it is im going to be doing, im really looking forward to cutting down on the stress aspects of my life and having some time to do different things, and concentrate on getting my mental and emotional state back to where it should be.....
my boss's fiancee who also works with us but is on maternity spoke to me as well and we had a really good chat and she pointed out that perhaps i didnt take the time that i should to really grieve for the losses....and that working is a distraction for me from other things... and that as much as my boss sees me moving as just another distraction we agreed it depends on whether im moving to run away, or if im moving to find myself....

Phew - deep stuff.

Where do we start with this one? I think you are in a tough position because your boss is providing you with life coaching/counselling and you are being incredibly honest with him (which is admirable). However, he seems to be taking it personally.

Also how can you take time to grieve your losses when you are working so many hours per day?

When is he talking about letting you go? And how do you feel about that? Stressed about the money or relieved?

poorandindenial

Goodness CAFC, your week so far sounds so emotionally draining (((hugs)))

I am probably a pessimist so sorry but I would personally worry about your bosses ability to coach you as he is so close to the situation and I don't think he can be objective. His response is all about him (getting your replacement up to speed and letting you go at Christmas) being Ok and my cynical head says that the offer of coaching helps him to keep control of the situation or feel less bad about what he is planning on doing.

I have coached and supported staff out of my organisation before when they have wanted to pursue other careers but the end of the employment has been determined by them and they have remained a full part of the team until they hand in their notice.

I might have misunderstood what you have said but I think that you saying that you have a dream that lies elsewhere has been reacted to in a way that says that if that isn't your dream you shouldn't be there and i don't think that is fair on you.

clearmydebts

I agree with PAID. Currently a person I manage has spoken to me about wanting to leave. I am supportive of her decision but there is no way she will be pushed out the door. Ultimately she is a lovely person and when she leaves it will be her decision.

As I said before, your boss seems to be taking all of this personally. I worry about whether he has your best interests at heart

doodledo_2

I must admit I have the same feelings as the others. I know your job is all about wellbeing etc etc so his reaction seems very much against his ethos. If that makes sense.

ShelleyC_2

I agree with everything the others have said. I think it's hard for your boss to be unbiased and maybe not the best person for you to talk to.

I work within a small business and it can be devastating to spend time and money to train someone only to have them move on with their new skills. Would like to point out your boss' point of view he's been training and investing time in your development and possibly wasn't expecting you to talk about leaving at this point

clearmydebts

Are you okay CAFC? I am a bit worried about you

lynzpower

Me too

You know where I am for a bit

poorandindenial

Shelley, that is really useful, I have always had the luxury of larger organisations where although individual skills and knowledge are often really niche and hard to replace the training that the individual has received is a teeny, teeny bit of the budget and also the future of the organisation isn't dependant on them and it is good to be reminded of the other side to understand what he is doing a bit better, I was all ready to write him off as a git - lol.