Marathons, Money and Motivation

CAFCGirl

Well I've just been on the cccs website and entered everything on there and sent an online message to them for help so hopefully here something back soon....
Perhaps an IVA is an option to us. That I could cover with my wage, would still be tight but at least the stress would be lessened....

i know I have things to be grateful for, please dont think im just playing the "woe is my card".... Im just really struggling to know what to do, I cant fogure it out, DH is rubbish at these kind of things and looks to me to always have the answer, and I just dont have it......Im lucky to have my health and DH, and the puppy and have a nice cottage which is reasonable rent, and have a steady job...

starnac

we don't think you are playing the "woe is me" card as you put it. i just know how easy it is to get bogged down by all the bad stuff. taking some time out and remembering all the good things can help ease the stress a little. and sometimes you need someone else to point that out. that's all we're saying.

Purpleroses

I would never say you're playing the "woe is me card". You're going through a hard time and I admire you for getting in touch with cccs and trying to keep you and DH going. A lot of people would have buried their head in the sand by now.

Brighter days will come for you! xx

clearmydebts

I don't think you are playing the 'woe is me' card either. It's just sometimes we can get stuck in a negative rut and other people (objective outsiders) are sometimes better able to point to solutions to try to get you out of the rut.

You do need to make the first jump yourself though and that is the hardest bit.

When I am going through tough times I also find it hard to be grateful for what I have, but sometimes things like making a list, or planning for the future will help to get you in a more positive place.

doodledo_2

Evening chick.

The others have said so much already I can't really add anything but just wanted to say if you ever need to offload I am here. I remember several chats we had online during my dark period and how much they helped me so I would love to return the favour.

I don't think its ever a case of woe is me, but sometimes we all feel like nothing good is happening and all those good things we have disappear from our mind.

I remember when I was at a low point I said to someone "I shouldn't moan my !!!!!! is nothing compared to what someone people are going through" and they replied "but your !!!!!! is your !!!!!!" and it felt so true. There is always people worse off than us but it doesn't mean what we are going through is made any easier with this thought.

Could you maybe take a few days of annual leave from work to recharge your batteries, being tired can make everything so much harder to deal with.

There is a corner, and I after 10 months am only just finding it. When I have got round the other side I'll be sending it up to you

savingholmes

Hi cafcgirl - I don't think you are playing a woe is me card at all. Life is tough for you.... Tougher even than it is for me right now! You've had a horrible year! You give about 200% to your job and it exhausts you.....

Breathe

In and out - In and out - In and Out

Sometimes that's all we can do - and that is okay.... the mess around us might get worse but while we have breath we have hope.

When I was at my lowest (I had pnd with both my kids plus post traumatic stress disorder from my childhood with bits of ocd thrown in) I listened to positive thinking cds to try and rewire my brain to think positive again. I bought and listened to paul mckennas cds on instant confidence, change my life etc as well as random ones form the internet....

I created time for me.... I had no time for me and I had no or few friends as I was too busy with work, commuting and direct family. I had to nurture myself before I was in any fit state for anything....

If your dream is to move back up north - then you do need to look at how to make that possible.

If your dream is to have a little one you do need to find a way to make life less exhausting, less stressful, less cluttered

I know right now it might feel like you are staring into a long black tunnel and the little chink of light you were looking forward to has now turned into a high speed commuter training that seems to be aiming right at you... but that is not reality. Reality is there are some good things in your life right now and some crap ones... You need to find a way to get to the good - and ask for help if you need it!

I admire you for your grit and determination. for the fact you have kept getting up after a series of knock backs. For the fact that you keep getting up at the crack of dawn, putting in all that effort to then come home have very little rest and start it again.... I admire you because you are worthy of admiration.... You are..... There is no magic wand any of us can wave - if we could we would.

One of my favourite stories was of a ruler who met the boy Solomon in a garden. He asked Solomon for an object that would make him happy when he was sad and sad when he was happy. The boy commissioned a jeweller to make a double sided pendant. On each side it said "this too will pass". That is what I have held on to in my darkest moments.... that "this too will pass". In the good times I've reminded myself to enjoy the moment knowing that "this too will pass"

We are rooting for you (I am away after tonight on holiday so not sure if I will have wifi access - but even when I am away I will pray for you to get through this).

Our other regulars on this thread and the paperhat thread, we have all had it tough in different ways... but we will all get thro this - but one step at a time, one breath at a time.... in and out, in and out, in and out... Sometimes that is all we can do and yet it is enough.... it has to be.

doodledo_2

SH - well put. It is mad in a way but the fact we have all been through so much makes us so much stronger as a little paper hat gang

clearmydebts

What a wonderful post SavingH,

So inspirational and well put together. I am so glad we have each other on this board. You all never fail to amaze me.

Will go now before I get weepy (am blaming pregnancy hormones!)

ShelleyC_2

Well said SH.

Plus on the lovely up side theres a party at Doodledo's next weekend :beer:

doodledo_2

Yay party at my house - loads of hormonal,emotionally led drunk women :beer: