My kids are being bullied - What can i do?

Silverbird

I don't have children, so please forgive me if my view of things is a little different to others.

I was bullied as a child (at school) and it's a terrible thing for any child to live through.

However, I did read through your posts and I cannot understand why your children can't play together in the back garden and not out the front? We never played out the front as children - it wasn't allowed due to fear over strangers and the fear of fast drivers. In my opinion the front of a house or the street is an unsafe place for children to 'play' and there is the added risk of damage to other people's properties and/or cars.

We were taken to the park if we wanted to play somewhere different, but we thoroughly enjoyed our time in the back garden and found loads of things to do.

Anyway, I do hope that somehow this is all resolved for you and I do feel awful for your children and can really sympathise. I hope it all works out x x

tesuhoha

It may be an idea to have a word with his parents again and tell them that he was throwing stones at you and that you are very close to calling the police. I don't know how these things are done but is there any chance of getting an injunction out against the child preventing him coming near your children/garden? Maybe you should see a solicitor.

Taye

They can and do play in the back garden but it just seems wrong that he's the one misbehaving and they are the one's held prisoner in ther own back yard, there is alot they can't do there such as ride thier bike as it's too small.

Not only that but my eldest is 9 and as much as he's still very much too young for going off alone, soon enough he will be wanting/needing to be alittle bit independent (catching the bus to school alone, going to the library, shops over to friends houses) but how is he supposed to gain that independence and make those gradual few steps outside of his mothers protective circle if i won't even let him out of the back garden?

Also how are either of them suppose to make friends?? there is a 2 year age gap and although they do get along most of the time as they get older even im noticing they are drifting apart as they have totally different interests etc it can't be healthy them spending all thier time in each others pocket with no-one else for company and while i'll grant there isn't many options for friends in my street i do feel they have a right to play without getting bullied and that it shouldn't be them who has to hide.

Emzycal

Taye wrote: »

My eldest is really clever, makes me feel dumb as a post :rotfl:he's not very outgoing or social at all, he is on the school council which he enjoys, and he enjoy's swimming when i can afford to take him.

I've been trying to look for some "none" physical activity's for him but most clubs etc seem to revolve around sports or outdoor pursuits and if i sugest those things he's quite adament he won't try them.

Most of the day he sits inside and reads or steals my pc ... he is your typical geek really :rotfl:

No family for scarings sadly :mad:

My school had a poetry club,Japanese club and a 'Justice and Peace' club - I was in all of them,cause I was a major geek (was? still am,really - the only difference is that now I pay a bit more attention to hygiene!)

Maybe raise it with the school about some more clubs for the non-knuckle dragging kids?

Your kid sounds like the exact child I'd pick if you could pick your own kids!

If he was a bit older I'd get you to give him my e-mail address if he needed someone to talk to - or find penpals online etc. but,because of his age I don't think that would work somehow..

I really hope this gets sorted,as he sounds like the sweetest wee thing.

x

magic_mummy

You are in a horrible situation. I'm looking at a similar situation with hindsight and I really understand how overwhelming it is. What I learned though is that children do not haveto play out at home. Think of your home as an island in a sea of morons. You can create a magical world just for you and your boys and have your 'playing out' in other areas. They really won't feel deprived. You don't haveto put yourself through the stress of dealing with the bully, or your children. My daughter was in tears when I told her about you this morning. She says the pain came from feeling rejected, not physically punched. When we rejected the bullies she felt much stronger. She went to university, the bullies all work in the same restuarant. You will have the last laugh, just play a long game.

moggitymog

are you able to invite a friend over for tea, this will give him support when they play out, also look on the local authority website for jobs, they pay quite well and can be flexible for childcare etc
good luck

BitterAndTwisted

There are boys in your children's classes at school and I'm sure not all of them are feral swine like that bully. Invite kids over to play after school in the back garden or take them to the park to ride their bikes. Personally, I really don't think it is too restricting at their age not to be allowed out to play at the front.

Take photographs of your son's injury and take him to the GP for them to take a look. Document everything. Talk to the school about this, even if this wretched bully doesn't go there. Talk to Social Services and ask their advice: impress on them this isn't just the usual kids falling out and scrapping stuff this has the potential to be something completely different

Taye

unfortunatly i don't have contact with any of the children parents at the school as a childminder deals with that side of things making it quite hard for friends to come to tea etc, i don't get home till 6:30-7pm

also my children go to a school outside the local area so the kids in the neighbourhood don't go to the same scool as them, tbh i think my eldest especially would be mortified to have his school friends come over.. he doens't even have a bedroom to play in.

BitterAndTwisted

You know, I think the only person in your family who might be mortified about not having a bed-room to play in is the one who is not a child. Having nice playmates is much more important than any bedroom. Why don't you have a chat with your childminder? I'd bet next week's wages that she knows everyone and which kids would be able to visit. Most parents expect to pick up their kids after they've visited so you wouldn't always have to take them home.

You could always get hold of a second-hand tent if you don't have one of your own, put it up in the back garden and hey presto! spare bedroom for chums to sleep over in on Friday or Saturday nights. We loved that when we were kids

ailuro2

https://www.entitledto.com

pop in some figures and see if there's anything extra you could claim.

Look into childcare vouchers too - that saves us a pretty penny every month.

Look at the local council's website to see what's on for free, and go with the kids to the events..

Martial arts, if chosen well (i.e. not karate, kickboxing, high kicking and punching ones) may help your son's co-ordination, and there may be cheap classes on. Ju jitsu, Aikido type classes teach restraints that the majority of people can do without needing to be particularly strong to do them.