Any 'wives' of cross dressers out there?

Raksha

Evansangel wrote: »

I have that book, have finished reading it now, it was so good! So if you cant find it OP and want to read it i'll post it to you

x x

Guess what I found today? Thanks for your kind offer Evansangel :beer:

Raksha

unixgirluk wrote: »

I could be totally wrong but I think the OP means that she has other things to consider too in the grand scheme and finds it all a little hard to sort out, thats all. Better the OP gets it out and if she finds it easier to talk about here then so be it. Rape can leave you very scared in non familiar circumstances and certain sights, smells, sounds can also trigger a panic attack or bring back memories. Not pleasant.

To the OP, can I suggest Relate counselling? and let them help you deal with everything not just the cross dressing but also the rape and how your current circumstances may trigger memories of the past (I'm assuming here thats what you mean? and I'm really sorry if I'm wide of the mark)

Unixgirluk, you are very wise. I forget how anyone who hasn't experienced what I have may struggle to understand.

Yes, having experienced what I have, being around a man who is very 'aroused' is a scarey experience.

We've been to Relate - they really seem to struggle to help anything outside of a normal heterosexual relationship (and they need paying )

Raksha

MissMitch wrote: »

windswept, with all due respect, I think you're being rather harsh on Raksha and I don't think it's a foregone conclusion that her OH's motives are sexual...and even if they are it doesn't mean he neccessarily wants her to engage in it with him, maybe just to be accepting that it's a part of him he needs to pursue. Also imo it's a wild leap to assume that he wants full strap-on action in the future! :rotfl:

Raksha, when I was a teenager I fell very much in love with a very feminine goth who cross-dressed, it never worked out between us and we lost touch eventually, but 20 odd years later still I'm very proud that my first love was this very creative, artistic, imaginative and wonderful man who broadened my mind and left a such a massive stamp on my whole life since! :T I hope your OH finds a way of expressing this part of him that you're both happy with.

This is quite a lovely article I found which might be of some use.
http://www.sgbutterfly.org/file/M4CD.pdf

'Full strap on action' - there's a big ole 'no entry' sign down there he tells me :T

Thanks MissMitch

monochromic

Hats off to you Rashka for being so supportive of your partner.

I hope nobody thinks I'm being weird, but I had an ex who was into crossdressing, and although it took a bit of getting used to, I'm a very open-minded person and it really wasn't an issue. He was a lovely bloke for whom it was a small part of his life, and I did feel privileged that he was trusting enough to be able to tell me wheras he had not been able to tell anyone before.

He and I used to have pampering nights in together, maybe if you were able to get the kids taken out by a friend for a day you could do the same. We would have a nice meal, jump in the bath togther, paint each other's nails, give each other foot rubs, and generally made ourselves feel nice. Once we were nice and relaxed (usually after a little wine!) I would help him do his make-up and clothes, and he appreciated having a woman's opinion on what would look suit him. He had a good night, I had a lot of fun dressing him up, it didn't cost a great deal and it satisfied his need to get pretty once in a while!

I appreciate that not a lot of women would be comfy enough to do this, but it brought him and I a lot closer and I have no regrets.

For him it certainly wasn't sexual... the way he explained it it was that while its OK for women to dress up, be sexy and pretty, men cant really do that in the same way. So for him, CD was satisfying that need to just feel pretty once in a while in the way that men, in their male roles, can't.

I did once ask my current partner and fiancee if he ever had any tendencies that way, he said it had never really appealed to him... secretly I was a bit disappointed :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Uniscots97

Raksha wrote: »

Unixgirluk, you are very wise. I forget how anyone who hasn't experienced what I have may struggle to understand.

Yes, having experienced what I have, being around a man who is very 'aroused' is a scarey experience.

We've been to Relate - they really seem to struggle to help anything outside of a normal heterosexual relationship (and they need paying )

Raksha, how are you? I noticed you haven't posted for a few days.

Raksha

Hi folks,

I'm fine thanks. We're taking two steps forwards and one back (like most people) Concentrating on other issues at the moment, like a fried telly and knackered dishwasher! Still, gives OH the chance to wear the marigolds if nothing else <G>.

KimYeovil

I appreciate things are a lot tougher with straight couples but just to lighten things up - you try coping with a butch dyke who is far too good looking to pass for a boy. I keep reassuring her, sorry, I mean him, that she looks like a boy but she explodes in an enormous strop because she doesn't want to be an effeminate boy - she wants to pass as a handsome man. She won't completely abandon her beauty to become blokeish - she only wants to pass as man who has walked straight out of a monochrome perfume advert. No matter what she tries, she is more likely to be mistaken for an unusually pretty mTf than an fTM!

I know things are a lot more awkward for straight couples but, boy, (or should that be 'girl') it would be a lot easier if I could transport her/him back in a time machine to the seventies!

whitewing

Aren't partners a hassle sometimes? My DH refused to have a Sanatogen ProNatal vitamin pill the other day, just in case it started to turn him into a woman!

cupcake287

Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but i am struggling to cope.... my OH told me 3 years ago he was a cross dresser. I love him and have accepted it, but i do feel like i'm losing him to her. It's devastating me.

I don't find him attractive when he is dressed up, and i don't enjoy spending time with him when he is, I don't want him to stop because he won't at the end of the day.

I don't know what to do..

flutterby_lil

Only you can make that decision - if it doesn't make you happy he will have to accept that and so will you and both go in separate ways in search of what will make you happy. Sorry if it sounds harsh but not sure what else you can do if you don't like him doing it cupcake. I would be the same as you.