Any 'wives' of cross dressers out there?

Pee

I haven't read all of the replies, but like someone else here I was impressed by the responses I did read. We can be a decent, supportive bunch after all!

I have no experience but have just finished reading Marion keyes This Charming man. It's probably still in the chart and £3.99 from Asda. Without going into detail, it's a chick lit book about someone who has loved and lost and there are some cross dressers in there who are well portrayed and you might find it interesting.

Raksha

Gothdolly I am so sorry you lost your 'him' to 'her'. I know I am lucky that the CD'ing is only a very very tiny part of my OH.

Pee - Marion Keyes is one of my fav authors, I don't know how I missed that one - will have to get hold of a copy.

I have suggested Pink Punters as it is very close to us, but unfortunatly that is more a problem than a bonus - we both know straight folk who go there regularly. (Why is nothing ever simple?)

judyjetson

My OH isn't a cross-dresser, but I do have a couple of friends who do, so I know how hard it is for their partners and families sometimes.

Have you looked at the Beaumont Society website? There's a section to support wives/partners of cross-dressers, plus they have events and weekends away, which sound like they would be perfect for you.

Raksha

judgejaq wrote: »

My OH isn't a cross-dresser, but I do have a couple of friends who do, so I know how hard it is for their partners and families sometimes.

Have you looked at the Beaumont Society website? There's a section to support wives/partners of cross-dressers, plus they have events and weekends away, which sound like they would be perfect for you.

Thanks for that - I was in contact with them many years ago, even phoned the contact for wives and SO, and to be honest, she totally scared me witless - kept going on about how her OH's dressing was a sexual thing and how he dressed almost full time at home and how they all go that way in the end, so I'd better get used to it..........

Not what I wanted to hear as a rape survivor.......

windswept

Raksha wrote: »

Thanks for that - I was in contact with them many years ago, even phoned the contact for wives and SO, and to be honest, she totally scared me witless - kept going on about how her OH's dressing was a sexual thing and how he dressed almost full time at home and how they all go that way in the end, so I'd better get used to it..........

Not what I wanted to hear as a rape survivor.......

You may not have wished to hear it, but in all likelyhood it's the truth for many couples when the wife is fully accepting, how can it not be a sexual thing?
How would you / do you feel if your hubby wants to have sex with you ( or wanted you to have "strap on" sex with him) whilst dressed up? If you haven't had to face that yet, it might come up someday.

What is the fact of being a rape survivor got to do with this situation btw?

Evansangel

Pee wrote: »

I haven't read all of the replies, but like someone else here I was impressed by the responses I did read. We can be a decent, supportive bunch after all!

I have no experience but have just finished reading Marion keyes This Charming man. It's probably still in the chart and £3.99 from Asda. Without going into detail, it's a chick lit book about someone who has loved and lost and there are some cross dressers in there who are well portrayed and you might find it interesting.

I have that book, have finished reading it now, it was so good! So if you cant find it OP and want to read it i'll post it to you

x x

MissMitch

windswept, with all due respect, I think you're being rather harsh on Raksha and I don't think it's a foregone conclusion that her OH's motives are sexual...and even if they are it doesn't mean he neccessarily wants her to engage in it with him, maybe just to be accepting that it's a part of him he needs to pursue. Also imo it's a wild leap to assume that he wants full strap-on action in the future! :rotfl:

Raksha, when I was a teenager I fell very much in love with a very feminine goth who cross-dressed, it never worked out between us and we lost touch eventually, but 20 odd years later still I'm very proud that my first love was this very creative, artistic, imaginative and wonderful man who broadened my mind and left a such a massive stamp on my whole life since! :T I hope your OH finds a way of expressing this part of him that you're both happy with.

This is quite a lovely article I found which might be of some use.
http://www.sgbutterfly.org/file/M4CD.pdf

tuggy

I also don't understand the reference to "rape survivor"? what do you mean?

Uniscots97

tuggy wrote: »

I also don't understand the reference to "rape survivor"? what do you mean?

I could be totally wrong but I think the OP means that she has other things to consider too in the grand scheme and finds it all a little hard to sort out, thats all. Better the OP gets it out and if she finds it easier to talk about here then so be it. Rape can leave you very scared in non familiar circumstances and certain sights, smells, sounds can also trigger a panic attack or bring back memories. Not pleasant.

To the OP, can I suggest Relate counselling? and let them help you deal with everything not just the cross dressing but also the rape and how your current circumstances may trigger memories of the past (I'm assuming here thats what you mean? and I'm really sorry if I'm wide of the mark)

emlou2009

i dont have anything to add but my support and my thoughts that you are a saint to be coping as you are - when i was 4 months pregnant my dad "came out" to me as a gender dysphoric on the waiting list for a sex change! my step mum made the difficult decision to support him for which he is very thankful, but she has commented that as her first husband died, she now feels like both her husbands have died. i know cross dressing is a different thing but i can advise that you're doing the right thing by keeping it from the kids, i can only imagine that they would find it almost as traumatic.