Any 'wives' of cross dressers out there?

creased-leach

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Oh, I think it's one thing for you to know about and try to share but I really don't think your children need to be made aware of it. That's why it's called a "private life". The idea of my own parents sharing details of their sex-lives together would be enough to put me off my dinner but if they'd tried to share it with me when I was in my early teens it would have traumatized me, I reckon *shudders*

I'm not suggesting the OP should tell the kids, but bear in mind that cross dressing is often not a sexual thing at all.

BitterAndTwisted

I am aware of that but I don't suppose it would matter that much to a couple of young kids. I'm a middle-aged woman and I'm struggling to understand it myself so I figure it would be incomprehensible, confusing and embarrassing to youngsters.

windswept

You must be incredibly open minded, there is no way on earth I could live with the knowledge that my husband wanted to dress up a a woman - I certainly couldn't fancy him any more and as for your kids, Jesus, can you imagine if someone saw you two out together and it got around the school etc. Kids have a hard enough time at school as it is.
To me, it's like he considers his "needs" as more important than his wife and children, but that's just me.

lostinrates

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

I am aware of that but I don't suppose it would matter that much to a couple of young kids. I'm a middle-aged woman and I'm struggling to understand it myself so I figure it would be incomprehensible, confusing and embarrassing to youngsters.

I think this is how I'd think too. I'm not judgemental about people's preferences, but kids have such a hard time anyway, working through their own development as people into adults: issues with who they are, who they want to be...and its fair to say the majority of young people ARE concerned with how they are viewed: I think its likely OP's husband is putting his kid's first in wanted to keep it a ''secret'' from them. Its also possible he has not reached peace in his mind over this: that alone is hard for young people- their parents lack of surity.

elsien

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

incomprehensible, confusing and embarrassing to youngsters.

Isn't that the definition of a parent anyway, as far as teenagers go?:D

Raksha, I can't offer any useful suggestions other than what has already been said. I just wanted to say each to their own and as interests go it's pretty harmless really, can't see why people get their knickers in a twist about it. I think that in your place though, I'd probably want to be able to talk to my best friend about it (just coz I talk to her about just about everything)- maybe you could work on this with OH as the two of you get more comfortable and able to discuss it together.

Savvy_Sue

Raksha wrote: »

we've been emailing and MSN eachother this afternoon, even though we are both in the same house, because it's the easiest way to share thoughts without the boys listening in!

DH and I have done the email communication before, AND I have been known to msn my sons when they are 6 feet away from me! But they are more likely to respond politely than if I speak to them.

And the great thing about email / msn is that you don't have to respond immediately, you can think about what you want to say rather than just blurting out the first thing which comes into your head, which may not be helpful.

So that would be one thing I wouldn't worry about, only the possibility that 'conversations' might be seen inadvertently if computers are left logged in and unattended.

Raksha

windswept wrote: »

You must be incredibly open minded, there is no way on earth I could live with the knowledge that my husband wanted to dress up a a woman - I certainly couldn't fancy him any more and as for your kids, Jesus, can you imagine if someone saw you two out together and it got around the school etc. Kids have a hard enough time at school as it is.
To me, it's like he considers his "needs" as more important than his wife and children, but that's just me.

That wasn't quite the support I was looking for.

Don't you think I've struggled with similar thoughts? And yes, I can imagine what narrow minded people would say. Over the years I've been able to put such thoughts to the back of my head (until they are raised by people like you) because 'someone' won't see us out together. I actually wonder if you read my post at all.

becky_rtw

I know it sounds funny but I've always wanted to start a personal shopping and styling business for cross dressers - OH isnt one but I cant see I would mind all that much - considering all the strange unusual things to be into I cant see why blurring gender construct lines generated by other people is really all that odd - well done for being so understanding by the way OP and I hope you can find a shared way to enjoy it together - but some shopping might be fun (you can always claim its for you after all )

Oh and look at Gok for example - he wears womens clothes all the time

robpw2

could i suggest going out to the local gay night or club its the kind of place he could go dressed up and no-one would make a fuss

Gothdolly

Raksha, I take my hat off to you for being able to cope with your partner (I mean it in a nice way). My ex OH was a crossdresser and at first I tried really hard to accept it but I found it too difficult to manage in the long term, especially as he wanted to dress up nearly all the time so that I hardly ever got to spend time with 'him', it was always 'her'.

I wish you both well.