Any 'wives' of cross dressers out there?

Raksha

No bashing please - it's hard enough as it is.........

My OH of nearly 17 years has cross dressed almost all his adult life, on and off, sometimes chucking it all out, then building it all back again.

He wants me to share (ie, him not have to keep it secret) but doesn't want to tell our children (boys aged 14 and 12) and won't tell me when he buys new wigs or clothes. Any purchases like this he usually pays with money he earns on Ebay, which is where he spends a lot of his 'time' - on the PC. Only this morning, I picked up what appeared to be an empty bin bag on the kitchen floor, to find it had an Ebay receipt and packing from something else he's purchased.

Does anyone have any hints on how to accomodate his 'hobby' and make it enjoyable for me at the same time?

whitewing

I'm not a wife of a cross-dresser, but it would be something that I could live with provided boundaries were kept.

A number of years ago, I really enjoyed a 'colour me beautiful' consultation, where you get to see what colours suits your skin tone and style of clothes looks good. Could you and DH do something like that together? (You'd have to warn them if you went to a consultant). If he's going to cross-dress he may as well look good.

ailuro2

It depends on why he's doing it - if he's doing it to satisfy the feminine side of himself, then perhaps you could organise 'girl's days out' once every couple of months where you could go shopping together instead of him keeping things secret, which , reading between the lines is something that bothers you more than the cross dressing.Do the kids ever get 'babysat' overnight - how about a shopping trip to another town with an overnight stay thrown in.
It does sound like he struggles to live with it too- I'd agree with not telling the kids - they are at an age when they would likely struggle with understanding it. By having a day every now and again when he can be 'she' would that keep more of an acceptable lid on it?
Dress up in another town, then come home to 'normal' life. Maybe you could borrow one of his wigs if you wanted to join in the anonimity of it.



If he does it because he gets his kicks out of it but it's not something that floats your boat, then that's a whole lot tricker - you can't make yourself 'like' it...no matter how hard you try.


Well done for being brave enough to ask on here - it's not one of my DH's things (well not that I know of!!? ) but we're all made the way we are and we all have our little things we do that are a bit 'different', and it must be hard for your DH to keep that part of his personality undercover all the time.

Good Luck.

kyssyn

I would go to see a Rocky Horror Picture Show play if possible. I think it's one of the few places where people are actually encouraged to cross-dress and nobody who's there will look upon it as being odd It could be a good place for him to start going public with it, to see how you both feel about it.

whitewing

How flamboyant is he? Could he satisfy the need by acting eg in a local panto, or is it more day-to-day or 'intimate' than that? (I would have trouble fancying my DH in cross-dress mode, I must admit).

If you have to grin and bear it, how about doing a batch cooking day, and stock up your freezer and cupboards? It could be quite relaxed if you have something practical to do.

McKneff

I just wanted to say that i am touched by the replies that you have got.
They are my sentiments exactly and was dreading some nasty posts.

Hopefully people will read the thread and it will be helpful to other cross dressers and their other halves.

Well done you for being brave for posting and so understanding of your OH

woody01

When he starts nicking your smalls it could get dodgy

creased-leach

Keep being as open minded as you are being. If you don't find it a turn on, there's little that can be done to change that. However, it seems to me that you're doing just fine.

Maybe have a day or two a month where he can cross dress at home- it would be odd for you at first but you'd soon get used to it.

Oh, and tell him to pick up his own flamin rubbish!

melorablack

kyssyn wrote: »

I would go to see a Rocky Horror Picture Show play if possible. I think it's one of the few places where people are actually encouraged to cross-dress and nobody who's there will look upon it as being odd It could be a good place for him to start going public with it, to see how you both feel about it.

Hey..go and see Rocky Horror anyway! It's great and my OH loved it even though he had some reservations when i told him I wanted to see it.

I personally wouldn't have any problems if my OH wanted to cross dress - unless he started nicking my clothes - I get enough of that from my sister!

Prudent

It is hard when your OH has a side that you are not completely comfortable with. My ex hubby had some odd behaviours which placed a big stress on me. However they were perhaps of a more worrying nature.

There is a man just down the road from me who is a cross dresser. I know his wife and son a little, but have never discussed with his wife how she feels. He tends to dress up when they are out and goes to local public places. I know after some hassle he has been banned from some places. Although he was not the one causing the problem. I know from some comments that the wife is perceived as a bit of an outsider because of hubby. I find her perfectly nice though.

Raksha

woody01 wrote: »

When he starts nicking your smalls it could get dodgy

LOL - you've not seen my 'smalls' - 'smalls' they ain't!