Cambridge Diet part II

Duncan0808

I've got a daughter 19 next month, and a scrote of a 10 yo son (Hes still in the dog house!).

Both my kids are adopted. Hubby and I were foster carers. And our two were originally placed for fostering and then eventually placed for adoption. Couldn't face the thought of handing them over to someone else so kept them.

DD is now living with her birth dad, so we don't see too much of her. DS is driving me nuts, love him to bits but hes turned into an adolecent, hes only 10 for gods sake.

Alphamare

we would like to foster when we are older. i think with my job we will be good candidates

Duncan0808

I enjoyed it, most of the time, some of the kids are hard work. For all I moan about Mike he's loud, noisy, cheeky, hardfaced, downright rude, and a nark, you do know where you stand with him.

The hardest kids are the shy ones, who won't even ask for a drink of water, you have no idea if they are OK, and spend all your time trying to keep them happy.

We've had them from 6 weeks old to 13 years, some were great fun, some were really hard going. We only did it part time, and would "link" with families that needed extra support. Unfortunately sometimes the extra support wasn't enough, as in the case of our two. Sometimes it was and then you have the sad times of saying goodbye.

The hardest part is dealing with the families rather than the kids though. And you come across some appalling cases of abuse and neglect and still have to be nice to these people.
There are loads of kids out there that need a little help, but its a very, very personal decision, it's definitely not easy, but can be very rewarding. I'm really glad I did it, but don't think I would go back to it now.

(Land_of)_Maz

it takes real selflessness to foster i think....

adoption is still difficult but the payoff is greater....

i admire anyone who does either...

Alphamare

It seems like quite something. i dont know how good i am at bieng nice to people i dont like maybe would have to practice that

The 'selection process' whatever its called must be quite something

Duncan0808

I think you are probably right Maz, when I was younger I wasn't so precious about my time. These days I work harder, run round after Mike a lot, aswell as fitting all the usual houseworky stuff in.
I am more selfish with my time and treasure any me time I get, which is probably the main reason why I wouldn't go back to it now.

Adoption isn't an easy ride either, and I have to admit I was devastated when our daughter left home, but at the end of the day you don't own your kids, whether they are adopted or not, they are a gift, that you get for a while and then they get to grow up and do their own thing.

Hey ho! Gone all melancholy (sp?) now.

(Land_of)_Maz

awwww bless......

I'm already dreading erin leaving home, and she's only 8... but some days i could see her far enough mind you!

cue shameless Billy Ray Cyrus moment...... any excuse!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh6rEojXdr8&feature=related

Duncan0808

The selection process varies depending on your local council policies. There are some national guidelines but each individual social work will apply them differently too.

It usually consists of several visits from a nominated social worker at your home. They come and talk to you about all kinds of things, from your financial status to how you deal with rows.

You also have to attend training courses, these are really interesting. You are also expected to do different refresher courses as you go along.

They do a Health and Safety inspection of your house, that covers things like having safety glass in your windows, making sure your banisters are high enough and the spindles are close enough together, that type of thing.

You do get paid, not a lot, it is expected to cover your expenses and depends on the number of children you have, and their ages, the older they are the more you get. They will also give you equipment, for example when we had the 6 week old baby, we got all bottles, steriliser, cot, baby walker, car seats, and such like. We've also had bunk beds. We never got the wardrobe mind, which is the only thing we ever actually asked for!!!

postingalwaysposting

Awww wow you all have such vaired lives.

Maz ~ Wow, I am glad Erin brought youa dn Big G together. Such a nice story. Maybe one day you can have a white wedding :j would you like any more?

Duncan ~ You are amazing,. fostering is hard work but as you say rewarding. I bet you have touched loads of children. Lol at your little scrote whats he done?

I dont want children (yet) :rolleyes: I am only 23 so have ages yet. However I may not be able to concive naturally anyway so I will propably adopt but an older child maybe 7yr~11yr. Obviously if life decides otherwise then so be it but I would love to adopt as a single parent ~ one day :j

Duncan0808

My little scrote, is on a holiday activity course. and is also in the Pre-Course "Fun Club" from 8.00am - 10.00am.

Only he dosent think its fun, he thinks its really boring and dosent want to be there. So I asked him very nicely just to put up with it for a couple more days. He won't have to go again its only while his Grandma and Grandad are away.

Mike recognises weakness in anyone from 100 miles, he dosent push boundaries, He starts out at the furthest possible point and you have to drag him back in kicking and screaming. He responds to strong discipline and any namby pampy, "oh don't do that Michael" he walks all over them.

Well they are just too nice, won't give him a bollock!ing, and ended up ringing me to tell me that he was "misbehaving".

He's one of those kids, bags of personality, never sits still, has an answer to everything, but he isn't easy to manage - everyone who comes into contact with him either loves him or hates him, some of his teachers dote on him, others have dreaded him being in their class. His swimming coach thinks he is wonderful, as does his football coach. He has been kicked out of a basketball club and also the after school club because of his "disruptive" and "disobedient" behaviour.

But he is so loving, and caring he is very difficult to stay mad at, and he gets so upset if he knows he has hurt your feelings.