Advice on how to live happily ever after!

Little_Monster_3

I also agree - its a lot down to how their mothers treated them! My oh had a lot done for him. I think I enjoyed making our home together when I first moved in - although had to gradual so I wasnt seen to be taking over his house and he was still romantic then so I guess I didnt mind. Housework came along with that i guess. Now little romance and all the cleaning makes me feel miserable! In the future I wont mind when not working and would be happy to have tea on table etc but why now? Am I auditioning for the part of sahm??? :rolleyes:

Glamazon

amalis wrote: »

Glamazon, and for us the dinner is the main meal of the day. I would not complain if after work I would have to make just sandwiches or salad, but no.. he wants in the evening meat, some garnish, salad..all should be fresh and healthy. Then I was plates while he is resting in from of TV

Now, I am lucky OH gets food cooked by a professional chef and is nutrionally balanced as he works with sportsmen so he can have a hot roast beef dinner so isn't bothered what I cook for him. Althou due to me being pg I need a hot meal.
Today he's off though so will want a proper meal, he's making a curry but you can guarantee he'll wait for me to cut the chicken for him. His idea of cooking is throwing a jar on and giving it a stir :rotfl:

Pee

Little_Monster wrote: »

I also agree - its a lot down to how their mothers treated them! My oh had a lot done for him. I think I enjoyed making our home together when I first moved in - although had to gradual so I wasnt seen to be taking over his house and he was still romantic then so I guess I didnt mind. Housework came along with that i guess. Now little romance and all the cleaning makes me feel miserable! In the future I wont mind when not working and would be happy to have tea on table etc but why now? Am I auditioning for the part of sahm??? :rolleyes:

I am really not a very domesticated person, but yes, I think there is a little bit of me that thought it was romantic to be looking after my man - in the very beginning... This is a rogue hormone and should be destroyed!!!!

Oldernotwiser

Personally I feel that the OP's financial situation is more worrying than the housework. She's thinking of partnership, marriage and babies where he seems to be hanging on to everything he has and shows no interest in sharing.

You can always get round the cleaning problem by employing someone but you can't make a man want marriage and sharing however much you might try.

Little_Monster_3

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Personally I feel that the OP's financial situation is more worrying than the housework. She's thinking of partnership, marriage and babies where he seems to be hanging on to everything he has and shows no interest in sharing.

You can always get round the cleaning problem by employing someone but you can't make a man want marriage and sharing however much you might try.

I can see why it may appear like that but we did try to buy a house together earlier this year and he was happy to share his money then and buy a home for life together. Everything has to be well considered in his mind as he has friends who have seperated and lost a lot. I feel I shouldnt lose out because of that tho, you cant tar everyone with the same brush. I do wish he was able to get a bit more swept away with our relationship tho!

roswell

Why not view that your cleaning = rent so either you want to pay half the mortgage and do half the cleaning or do all the cleaning as he letting you live rent free ? I would assume he does the "man jobs" eg drilling / gardening / basic car maintenance It seem you are resentfull of him going out so you are linking this instead not to him goign out but him not pulling his weight in the cleaning stakes ??

Pee

I think treating the cleaning as rent is a good one!

Little_Monster_3

Glamazon wrote: »

MIL - didn't work for 27 years so did everything while FIL out at work
OH's grandparents the same.

My parents split up when I was 5 so were either on their own or when remarried both parents worked. We all had to muck in. I would get 20p for loading/unloading dishwasher etc and at the end of the week had earnt my pocket money.
OH had never even switched a washing machine on before he met me! His mother wouldn't let him lift a finger.
Strangely his dad and his grandad still insist it is a woman's job to do housework even thou I work F/T - his dad is coming round now that MIL has a job but I think alot of it is old school ways. :rolleyes:

I like old school ways if you agree to live like that and new school ways work if you prefer that way. Having a mix of both which suits one half better than the other is what I'm struggling with I guess.

Pee

Little_Monster wrote: »

I like old school ways if you agree to live like that and new school ways work if you prefer that way. Having a mix of both which suits one half better than the other is what I'm struggling with I guess.

I think it's just not fair if both are working for one to do all the housework...

Glamazon

Pee wrote: »

I think it's just not fair if both are working for one to do all the housework...

I agree

Oh and guess who's cooking?
It's not OH :mad: