Advice on how to live happily ever after!

lilac_lady

I used to hate it when my OH (who didn't work) said to me (who worked full time) "I've done your hoovering for you." I didn't hear the phrase often though!

Edited to say - he's now my EX OH.....wonder why?

Little_Monster_3

Thanks for the replys. I spoke to him about it last night and he has suggested a rota... watch this space I guess. I'm a big believer in the old you cant change a man catch phrase so I've got a feeling this will work maybe for 2 weeks max!

amalis

Seems I am the most unhappy/ unlucky here. We both work full time, have common account. Never separated money on "mine" and "yours". However, I do easrn a little bit more.
Anyway, I do ALL the home cleaning, washing, cooking...He never helps me. He says his responsibilities is to fix something when it is broken, but.. hmm... how often something breaks at home?
And funny enough, his standards of cleaning- i mean his idea of how everything should be clean - is much higher than mine. He is washing plates once in a while..He did it last week and the time before..when was it? ah,last year!
i duno what to do, I am really tired. Tried talking to him, no changes.
Now he is out for 1 week and I am sooo happy not to cook or clean. I bought sandwiches, made a mess at home at just enjoing myself. I love my husband, but I am affraid it is not quite normal situation

Pee

That doesn't sound fair...

amalis

Pee wrote: »

That doesn't sound fair...

agree. I am even affraid to think of how everything will be when we will have a baby
i really tried talking to him: calmly, yelling..no result:mad:

Little_Monster_3

amalis wrote: »

Seems I am the most unhappy/ unlucky here. We both work full time, have common account. Never separated money on "mine" and "yours". However, I do easrn a little bit more.
Anyway, I do ALL the home cleaning, washing, cooking...He never helps me. He says his responsibilities is to fix something when it is broken, but.. hmm... how often something breaks at home?
And funny enough, his standards of cleaning- i mean his idea of how everything should be clean - is much higher than mine. He is washing plates once in a while..He did it last week and the time before..when was it? ah,last year!
i duno what to do, I am really tired. Tried talking to him, no changes.
Now he is out for 1 week and I am sooo happy not to cook or clean. I bought sandwiches, made a mess at home at just enjoing myself. I love my husband, but I am affraid it is not quite normal situation

Was it like that before you were marrried aswell? How do you do it all and not be moody with him?! Will you still work when you have kids??

amalis

Little_Monster wrote: »

Was it like that before you were marrried aswell? How do you do it all and not be moody with him?! Will you still work when you have kids??

i am moody, sometimes we have really bad enviroment at home. But we still love each other.
Before we married he was also reluctant to help me ,but still was helping a little bit more than now. And I never really noticed all this before I became really worn out.
After kids (we are not planning for kids for the next couple of years, but I dont think that he will ever change) I will be working for sure. My income is quite significant and as we are planning for mortgage, we will not be able to manage with one salary.

Pee

It seems to be the main thing that new mothers complain about, the lack of support in terms of housework from their partners.

Oldernotwiser

I'd stop using the word "help". It implies that it's your work and that he's doing you a favour!

Little_Monster_3

amalis wrote: »

i am moody, sometimes we have really bad enviroment at home. But we still love each other.
Before we married he was also reluctant to help me ,but still was helping a little bit more than now. And I never really noticed all this before I became really worn out.
After kids (we are not planning for kids for the next couple of years, but I dont think that he will ever change) I will be working for sure. My income is quite significant and as we are planning for mortgage, we will not be able to manage with one salary.

wow you will be busy... I dont know if i could do it all. I guess I could if I had too but I dont see why it should be so unbalanced?