Parents organising students lives

Oldernotwiser

mumps wrote: »

I don't understand why you make the assumption that if a parent does any research that automatically means the student does none.

Perhaps because you said "I researched alot before my daughter went to uni and she didn't even know about most of it," which implied to me that you did it all.

I think you meant this differently from the way it came across.

Edit: Just read Lokolo's post; at least I'm not the only one who read it that way!

Oldernotwiser

noelphobic wrote: »

don't you mean 'there's NOWT wrong with a bit of information'?!!!!!!!

You're right, I come from Surrey and we know NOWT about these northern expressions!:D

mumps

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Perhaps because you said "I researched alot before my daughter went to uni and she didn't even know about most of it," which implied to me that you did it all.

I think you meant this differently from the way it came across.

Edit: Just read Lokolo's post; at least I'm not the only one who read it that way!

This was obviously ambiguous, what I was saying was that she didn't know I had done most of the research, I did it so I knew it, she knew I did some background research because it came up when we discussed it. I did not mean she didn't know the information I knew, she actually knew more about it than I did as she visited more universities and did more research than I did. God that is complicated.

mumps

Lokolo wrote: »

The fact you said "I researched most of it and my daughter didn't know any of it" suggested that your daughter hadn't done anything for deciding and you had made choices for her. Well thats how it came across to me. Obviously you have said otherwise now.

If I had listened to my head of sixth form I wouldn't be at the uni I am currently at (and loving) because of her hate with ex-polys. She refused to allow me time off to come and visit the uni. I of course, ignored her.

My mum came with me on all my open days and didn't have a say in the matter. Although she did agree with my points I made when I visited them all.

I didn't actually say that and you misunderstood what I did say.

GlasweJen

mumps wrote: »

A close friend of my daughters ticked the box for her parents to deal with her application, this was because she knew she was going to be working at an orphanage for AIDS orphans in Africa, she had no access to computer. Didn't realise that kids doing this sort of work were going to be so unable to look after themselves when they get to uni. Jumping to conclusions?

sorry just saw this, as it happens i also worked at an AIDS orphanage in Tanzania while my first application was going through but i still had to deal with my own application from outside the country. Even the 3rd world have means of communication!

Oldernotwiser

lotties_mum wrote: »

Is it really for anyone else to say what we should or should not do for our own kids?

When somebody's started a thread to discuss the issue - yes. Some of have to pick up the pieces when parents have been over zealous.

Oldernotwiser

mumps wrote: »

This was obviously ambiguous, what I was saying was that she didn't know I had done most of the research, I did it so I knew it, she knew I did some background research because it came up when we discussed it. I did not mean she didn't know the information I knew, she actually knew more about it than I did as she visited more universities and did more research than I did. God that is complicated.

I realise now that this was the way you meant it but I'm sure you can see that it could have been taken the other way.

Lokolo

mumps wrote: »

I didn't actually say that and you misunderstood what I did say.

Yes you did.... maybe it wasn't me that misunderstood it but you not writing correctly?

...

mumps wrote: »

Well the OP specifically mentioned 18 year olds and was talking about going off to uni. Bearing in mind that many of the parents of 6th formers looking for info for next academic year will have children of 17 (and they are still children legally at 17) At 17 my daughter went to see unis and to interviews, as I said before some she went to alone some I went as well. I don't honestly understand why a parent asking for some info about their child going off to uni is seen as them organising their lives or means that they fill in their forms or make their decisions. Seems a big jump to me. I researched alot before my daughter went to uni and she didn't even know about most of it, just meant I had the info if she asked for advice or generally want to discuss things.

So you didn't say that no...? Thought so.

lotties_mum

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

When somebody's started a thread to discuss the issue - yes. Some of have to pick up the pieces when parents have been over zealous.

made my blood boil a bit. you won't need to pick up the pieces for my kids both dh and myself have had 3 jobs between us for years, we've never claimed a penny and even when dh loses his job in 6 mths time dd will not claim ema through sheer pride.

magoogy

;dd will not claim ema through sheer pride;

oh so all those who do claim ema have no pride then eh? the moneys there for them so whats wrong with them taking it?? nothing to do with pride...