What would you do?

LilMissEmmylou

the script r playing several gigs over the summer, why not take a trip with ur partner and go see them at one of the other gigs?

lufcgirl

thank you for your points January20. To be fair the relationship is not even six months old and it's not like we've made a lifetime commitment to each other, in a sense were just getting to know each other.

Today sees the start of the competition and I'm not there. She didn't want me there for it yet wants me at the one in July. As selfish as it sounds, nobody plays concerts in tynemouth and I really want to go for the experience if anything. I'm doing what I want to do, not her.

I was even shouted at for putting my facebook status as I wanted to get very very drunk last night! It's verging on ridiculous.

lufcgirl

I'm already going to see them support take that in June with her, not that I like take that! But this was a gig in my home town, it's special to me and something I'm excited about.

SugarSpun

You're making a lot of excuses for doing exactly what you want, even though your girlfriend has asked for your support and one of the responsibilities of a relationship is that you sometimes have to do things you don't want to do because the other person wants or needs you to do it.

My OH recently bought an open ended plane ticket to support me after I had to go to a different country to sit with my grandmother in her last days. It was a pain in the butt with work and he's still sorting it out, and he really didn't want to spend an indefinite period of time working from there while sleeping alone on a lethal mattress while I spent all the nights at the hospital, only to come back and pass out for a couple of hours and leave for the hospital again. He did it because I needed him to and because he loves me, and he knows that I'll do the same for him whenever he needs it. It's a more extreme example of the same thing, is all.

It doesn't sound like you're ready to have this sort of relationship. You seem to be thinking of her as your jailer, not your girlfriend, and looking for ways to get out of doing the things that relationships obligate you to do.

hundredk

lufcgirl wrote: »

Yeah I guess your right! Although my reasons for not wanting to go are perfectly justified...nothing is booked with her yet my concert tickets are. And I hate people demanding I do something!

So was the concert a secret in the first place?

foreign_correspondent

If you are going to lie to the GF and let her down over something that she feels is important to her, you may as well dump her really, please don't insult her intelligence.

If you see a long term future with her, go to ireland, if you don't then finish with her and go off to the gig with your friend with a clear conscience and some integrity - and get it over with sooner rather than later, for her sake really - dont drop it on her right before her big event.

hundredk

SugarSpun wrote: »

It seems to me that you're not looking for opinions so much as someone to tell you that it's ok to cancel on your OH to lie to her about going to a gig with a friend.

I won't do that for you. Maybe someone else will.

Having read more of this thread go with the friend. It's not OH you are cancelling on - the existing arrangement is with your friend.

If your partner of 6 months has henpecked so much that you have to keep arrangements with you friend secret and do things you'd much rather not with OH then whats the point of the relationship.

lufcgirl

I saw the ad for the concert and called her really excited only for her to say she wouldn't be able to go because of this music thing. She did at the time say I could go with someone else of I really wanted to. Obviously laying the guilt trip on me. I told my best friend about the concert before I'd even called her and by the next day he'd bought tickets bless him. So at the time I assumed shed know I was going to the concert.

Fast forward a month and she was calling asking about booking hotels for this thing and I tried to tell her I wouldn't be going, not mentioning the concert, but it fell on deaf ears and I was told I should be there. She wouldn't see me for most of each day while she's performing and has her family there but don't see why I should waste my weekend to not even see her. If you understand what I mean.

foreign_correspondent

She wouldn't see me for most of each day while she's performing and has her family there but don't see why I should waste my weekend to not even see her. If you understand what I mean.

yeah, its pretty clear what you mean - so why are you not finishing with her?

If you were right for her you would want to be there for her just as much as she wants you there

hundredk

lufcgirl wrote: »

She did at the time say I could go with someone else of I really wanted to.

Then you have discussed it and made arrangements before the Ireland thing.

lufcgirl wrote: »

I told my best friend about the concert before I'd even called her and by the next day he'd bought tickets bless him. So at the time I assumed shed know I was going to the concert.

Think this speaks volumes, especially referring to GF in third person.

lufcgirl wrote: »

Fast forward a month and she was calling asking about booking hotels for this thing and I tried to tell her I wouldn't be going, not mentioning the concert, but it fell on deaf ears and I was told I should be there. She wouldn't see me for most of each day while she's performing and has her family there but don't see why I should waste my weekend to not even see her. If you understand what I mean.

Talking in third person again. And henpecked. Sounds like the problem is not particularly you going to the concert and therefore not supporting her, more like who you are going with.