What would you do?

jenhug

lufcgirl wrote: »

Not go! But my heart says different, feel like I should be there.

Your heart is telling you to go but you are fighting it?

Why? Is your friendship with your ex as platonic as you would like it to be?

lufcgirl

My head says do what makes me happy, otherwise as others have said I'd just resent her even more. I do feel like I'm being selfish for doing what I want to do, that's what I hate! I feel like the worlds most horrible person just for doing what I'd like to do!

GracieP

lufcgirl wrote: »

My head says do what makes me happy, otherwise as others have said I'd just resent her even more. I do feel like I'm being selfish for doing what I want to do, that's what I hate! I feel like the worlds most horrible person just for doing what I'd like to do!

Does she ever make sacrifices for you? Does she ever do things she would prefer not to for your sake?

lufcgirl

the only thing she's done I can think if is come to my birthday party where she had to meet all my friends for the first time. Also the time she decided she hated my best friend that night. Oh and she spent the whole party throwing up so bit of a washout!

xmaslolly76

I would be heart broken if my OH didnt come to something when i ask him to because i needed his support then !!!!!!ed off out with his best friend instead. To be honest did your friend know about your OH's concert could he be playing a bit of the old devils advocate in all this knowing full well that they would clash its not completely beyond belief if there is an attraction there?

leiela

If my OH had asked for my support there would be no contest, no matter how boring or "un me" it was i would be supporting my OH, the simple fact that he needed ME (regardless of who else he had) would be enough.

lufcgirl

No he doesn't know about the concert, and he'd tell me to go if he did.

I guess I am a really selfish person but I think the compromise of going over the Monday after is a good idea. I tried suggesting it and think she'll come round to it eventually.

natmour

I would go with your OH.
Just one question...
Can you be truely in love with her if you are not willing to sacrifice something that WILL happen again for her?

January20

I think you have to be careful here lufcgirl as the people who are telling you they would go with their OH are actually talking from the perspective of their own relationship to advise you, just as I am probably speaking from my situation which is of being a fiercely independant woman who hates being told/ made to do what she doesn't want. Your relationship is unique so take advice from here with a large pinch of salt.

So. Is your girlfriend worth the sacrifice? if you miss the gig with your friend, will you resent your girlfriend and how much? How long can you put up with making sacrifices for your girlfriend when you say she doesn't make very many for you? Are you planning on a future with this girl? Are you happy with the situation as it is? Or do you feel you should make a point this time?

January20

natmour wrote: »

I would go with your OH.
Just one question...
Can you be truely in love with her if you are not willing to sacrifice something that WILL happen again for her?

At the same time you could ask: is her girlfriend truly in love with her to force her to do something she doesn't really want to do because she needs the support?

And if it's the gig in Tynemouth then it possibly won't happen again - not like that anyway!