What would you do?

lufcgirl

I've got this huge (to me) dilemma...and I hope some people will be able to give me some advice on what to do!

Ok...so July 11th sees two completely different things happening, and I need to decide which one I'm going to do, and soon-ish...

Option One

My OH is a music teacher and has voluntarily trained kids 7-18 for the past six months for a music competition in Ireland. She also created a band along with her sisters and friends to enter into the over 18's competition. By the time July 11th comes, she expects her own band and a couple of the kids' bands to still be in the competition. It's in Ireland and basically I'd have to fly over and we'd be spending the weekend in Wicklow (where I'd have loved to have gone under any other circumstances apart from this). My problem with it is that I don't agree with the whole competition and how she's been made to give her time up for free and then gets it thrown in her face and criticised constantly by the other teacher.
Also, probably due to my upbringing, I'm not into the whole Irish music scene, but she's basically told me to get the time off and attend as she needs the support. Even though I'd be on my own a lot of the time!


Option Two

I'm an absolutely massive fan of The Script and they're performing a concert near where I live on the same day. My best friend (who my OH detests) has got me tickets for the concert as a surprise.
Because they don't get on (long story but OH is fully justified in feeling the way she does), if I went to this concert I couldn't tell my OH where I was going and who with because she wouldn't be happy.

So there you have it, which option would you go for?! I know which one I should be doing I guess, but just looks for opinions...thanks.

SugarSpun

It seems to me that you're not looking for opinions so much as someone to tell you that it's ok to cancel on your OH to lie to her about going to a gig with a friend.

I won't do that for you. Maybe someone else will.

whitewing

I wouldn't do either, in your position.

jenhug

Go with the OH, every time. They are your partner, and they need your moral support, I don't see where the dilemma is!

secretspender_2

I'd put your OH and best mate in a room together and force them to get on firstly!

Hmmm, hard choice but it would have to be the first one. I'm sure your best mate will understand and the Script will tour again, whereas your OH might not do anything like this again.

Even though you might not enjoy it - its about supporting her. It obivously means a lot to her for her to stick it out with the criticism, but then I guess she is passionate about her music.

JMO though x

lufcgirl

Yeah I guess your right! Although my reasons for not wanting to go are perfectly justified...nothing is booked with her yet my concert tickets are. And I hate people demanding I do something!

secretspender_2

oooh and the lying to her - what a great relationship you must have if you feel the need to lie to her?

lufcgirl

Trust me, unless I wanted to break up. I couldn't tell her where I'd be going. I really want to, I just know the reaction!

secretspender_2

well if you REALLY dont want to go, just tell her the truth.

(or you cant get time off work)

lufcgirl

I just totally geared myself up for telling her and clammed up on the phone!

Typical me.

lostinrates

lufcgirl wrote: »

voluntarily trained kids 7-18 for the past six months ....... she needs the support..

two phrases give the answer IMO. Six months she's been doing this, of course she wants your support. If she's a life partner and their is an issue with your best friend you need to do one of three things, that I can think of, -to resolve the issue with the friend;come to an agreement you see friend with out her but not behind her back or consider which is the more valuable relationship.