Christening when you don't believe in God??!!

xmaslolly76

My two were never chrsitained as i thought it hypocrytical of me to do so as i do not go to church and really dont believe in organised religion this is no to say that i dont have faith. At the end of the day the children will decide for themselves what they want when they are old enough and their decision will be respected.
:-) x

MrsTinks

Well as it looks like our daughter will be christened I guess I will be hypocritical then I neither believe in God nor do I even confortable in churches...
I wasn't married in a church for that very reason infact
I was christened when i was little - my mothers reason was so that I could choose for myself later. That I could have chosen to get christened later never occured to her.
So as a pagan why is my child going to be christened (if the vicar will let us...)? DH has a thing about the bean getting PROPER Godparents - he's a godparent and he for some reason feels it's imortant... His mother is very religious and whilst that wouldn't be a major concern in my mind normally it's a contributory factor. If anything should happen to our child then unless she's christened she cannot be buried in our village, in the small cemetary reserved only for people from the village, but would have to be buries about 30 miles away - a VERY morbid reason perhaps but having buried 4 people during this pregnancy (3 relatives) - it is very important to me to be able to visit... That might seem the oddest reason being as I should be about to celebrate her birth in the next couple of weeks but when you have lost so many people in a short period of time and none of them are close enough for you to be able to visit them suddenly this takes a new level of importance...

I'm a Godparent too, I wasn't comfortable with standing up and frankly lying about bring a child up in the faith etc so I spoke to the vicar beforehand. I explained I wasn't christian any more (she was the one who confirmed me LOL) but I would ensure that should it fall on me then I would bring the child up knowing about the church etc in as unbiased a way as I could. She was happy with this and we altered the wording slightly (doubt anyone else noticed) so instead of "bringing this child up in the faith..." I promised to "bring this child up with the faith". No lying and the vicar and I were both happy with this slight alteration
I'm hoping the local vicar here will be as accomodating...

margaretclare

pinksleepybear wrote: »

Get them while they're young and stupid, you mean?

No, that's not what I meant at all.

twinklyrach

In response to LouBlue I am, in fact, one of those infidels who does not attend church but married in one.

The short answer is that it's really none of your business. The slightly longer answer was that I grew up in that church, sang in the choir and was head chorister, and left when I moved away to attend university. Unfortunately for the Church (in the larger sense), I read Theology and graduated as an agnostic. Nonetheless the church I married in has huge emotional significance for me and if we hadn't been granted the special licence to marry there, we would have had a civil wedding. And my husband's RC; this was a CofE church. None of this mattered to the vicar officiating, and if he did not find it problematic I do not see why you do.

pinksleepybear

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Well that is not a very intelligent comment, is it?

How are they going to be able to 'chose' in later life if thy are not aware of the choices?

I was not aware of the choices until I was 30, having been brought up in a non-religious household and never having been to church. I wish i'd known the choices a bit earlier.

My son, who WAS brought up in a Christian household, has said that he is glad that we showed him the faith when he was young, even though he doesn't practise it now, because otherwise he would not have known the options. His words not mine.

Comments cannot be intelligent; besides it was a question. If you were doubting my intelligence when writing the question, you'd do well to check your spelling first. I thought we were discussing the antithesis of intelligence - religion.

Are you honestly saying you weren't aware that churches existed until you were 30?

Even if you really believe you must expose your son to religion as a child so that he could make the decision as an adult, these days children have religious education in school, there's no need for your to push your superstitions at home.
I'm glad your son was able to overcome the religious indoctrination to which you subjected him.

Margaret52129

Not read all the postings so apoligise if I've not got the right messages, but I was baptised and went to church (cofe) regularly till we moved areas when I was 8. Didn't go to church again till I met friends who did when I was 14-15. Left again then met bf whom I married in Registry office (he was baptised but not a church goer). Had 1st child and felt something was 'missing' in my life. I found local church through going to Mother and toddlers and became attached to church, decided to have child Christened and I became a member of church (methodist)- in that order. Had 2nd child christened too. Hubby has never attended church but made daughters go when children! Both have grown up and moved away and neither go to church now. Eldest decided to become a member of home church, her choice, but youngest decided against that.

Eldest now does Guides and attends her local church through that (moved away after uni), youngest has child herself (not married but has partner) but now feels same as I did with my 1st - whether she will return to church or not is her decision.

I have no problem with their choices, I made my decision when I had them Christened that I wanted them to belong to church and they've never said I was wrong for doing this.

I still attend regular, am a steward, Junior Church leader, do Rainbow guides and may other things with the church, but I would never tell anyone what to do with their lives, because it is THEIR lives, not mine!

amersall

i had my daughter christened ( as that was excpected and the done thing) i did not like it, we were in actual fact lying before god. you are saying you will bring your child up to be a christian and you have no intentions of doing that. when my son was born i spoke to a local vicar and he said my son could be blessed in the eyes of god, it was just a normal sunday service, my son who was 5 went to the front and was blessed, ( and i have been well blessed ever since! lol )and i was more overwhelmed with that than i was for my daughters christening.

seven-day-weekend

pinksleepybear wrote: »

Comments cannot be intelligent; besides it was a question. If you were doubting my intelligence when writing the question, you'd do well to check your spelling first. I thought we were discussing the antithesis of intelligence - religion.

Are you honestly saying you weren't aware that churches existed until you were 30?

Even if you really believe you must expose your son to religion as a child so that he could make the decision as an adult, these days children have religious education in school, there's no need for your to push your superstitions at home.
I'm glad your son was able to overcome the religious indoctrination to which you subjected him.

Of course I knew churches existed - but because of the way I'd been brought up they were places I would never darken the doors of, like gambling joints, drugs parlours or sex shops.

As regards intelligence, ; I am qualified to join MENSA although I haven't done so. However that is irrelevant to the thread other than to say that being a person with a faith does not negate one's intelligence.

However, I should not have referred to your remark as 'unintelligent' and for that I apologise.

Having a faith is all about choice and while I must be honest and say I wish my son had chosen to follow the faith we showed him, in the end it must be his choice and I'm glad we gave him the ability to be able to chose freely, because true faith must be a choice.

LouBlue

twinklyrach wrote: »

In response to LouBlue I am, in fact, one of those infidels who does not attend church but married in one.

The short answer is that it's really none of your business. The slightly longer answer was that I grew up in that church, sang in the choir and was head chorister, and left when I moved away to attend university. Unfortunately for the Church (in the larger sense), I read Theology and graduated as an agnostic. Nonetheless the church I married in has huge emotional significance for me and if we hadn't been granted the special licence to marry there, we would have had a civil wedding. And my husband's RC; this was a CofE church. None of this mattered to the vicar officiating, and if he did not find it problematic I do not see why you do.

I don't find it problematic, hence why I didn't start the thread but when I saw the thread, it did interest me so was curious as to people's reasons. Not people that religion and/or church plays a part on their lives, I get that, but people that don't go to church or religion plays no part in their life, it interests me.

margaretclare

Having a faith is all about choice and while I must be honest and say I wish my son had chosen to follow the faith we showed him, in the end it must be his choice and I'm glad we gave him the ability to be able to chose freely, because true faith must be a choice.

This is really the crux of the problem and I think that is why the OP started this thread, about Christian baptism. In Christianity, because we welcome a baby by this ceremony, water on the head, adults must make a commitment to help the child as he/she grows up. If they hold different beliefs then they cannot do that, and should not be required to say they will do something that they know they can't do. The ceremony of Confirmation in the teens is meant to confirm that the young person knows what he/she believes and is willing to keep to the faith in which his/her parents and godparents introduced him/her. But ultimately, in Christianity we believe that it is down to the person as an individual, and sometimes true faith doesn't come in the teenage years but much later.

There are religions which don't look on it like that at all. You are born into it and you can't leave. In Christian traditions you have the choice, have your baby baptised, or not. Could you imagine, for instance, Jewish parents making this choice about a baby boy at 8 days old? Can you imagine them saying similar things that we have read in this thread? 'I was brought up to....but I don't believe...I don't think I should have to lie....it's only an occasion for a party and presents....and so on'. The ceremony at 8 days is not just a small amount of warm water on the baby's head, but some now see it as a deliberate mutilation to which they would prefer not to have been subjected.

A large number of DH's cousins refuse to speak to him because he left the religion in which he was brought up, and he demonstrated this, in their eyes, by, as they put it 'he married out'.