Christening when you don't believe in God??!!

jollymummy

I live in the North and we haven't have my son christened and my hubby wasn't christened either. I was christened and we were married in church (my choice) we asked the vicar if it was a problem if my hubby hadn't been christened and he said no.

Sirbendy

Neither me nor my partner are religious as such - if there is a higher power out there (and i'm not saying there isn't) , as and when I meet it I will have some searching questions to pose, but here and now...I'm not subscribing to it. My mother wholly supports this, and even has me marked down on all my records as "non-participant" when it comes to religion.

IIRC, I'm not even baptised. We are expecting a sprog (hopefully November), we've already lost twins (last year). When that happened, we didn't go looking for religious support etc, we both said it was "obviously not to be, or the time wasn't right".

If all goes well, I shan't be forcing religion onto said sprog...I'd rather let it grow up and form it's own opinions as we have. Religion is fine for those who feel it offers them support, and more power to them, but it's not for me.

My family crease me up - they all go in for the big church weddings..they go to church for the x weeks they have to, in order to be able to do all the necessary, they get married in a rush of money, and then once it's over, they stop.

Don't see the point, I really don't. We've already said - Jeans, T-shirt, registry office or "non church, non fuss" location and arrangements, casual dress..Marriage is a great thing, but worth blowing the money on for a full do? Not to me, no.

In the end, it comes down to crossing the i's and dotting the t's...it's no longer the holy grail it once was.

HelenKA_2

WolfSong2000 wrote: »

Lots of interesting discussion here, which is good .
for instance the Bible clearly states that if you die, you don't go straight to heaven (or hell). You sit in the ground until judgement day, etc, etc...

Would you be able to give the Bible reference for this please?

If anyone finds it a chore to go to church.........you're at the wrong church!

Bettyboop

Well, in the next month or so my two kids will be getting baptised. I was baptised when I was a teenager, go to Church about twice a month and do believe in God. It will not be a false declaration but I hope an pray my children will follow him aswell!

Bettyboop

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

My husband and I got married in a Registry Office as we were both non-believers at the time and it seemed hypocritical to do otherwise. Later when we had become Christians we had a church blessing. We had previously both been baptised by full immersion to demnstrate our commitment to God.

Our church did not do infant baptism as they subscribed to the doctrine that baptism was for believers who had made their own choice, so we didn't have our son christened. He did so by his own choice at the age of 13.

I actually do not understand why people who GENUINELY have no belief want to have their children christened.

I have always wondered why people have their children christened but do not so much believe in God, Jesus or anything to do with Christianity. Is it that they want to save their childrens lives or what? I just don't know but if I were a non believer I would certainly not be getting the kids baptised that would be complete falsehood especially if the parents have no intentions of ever setting foot in Church again etc!

two-for-one

I've come to the general conclusion they are probably doing it just because it's the "done" thing. An excuse for a get-together and p*** -up. I know it's certainly not because they are thinking about schools later on, as they are not the sort to think that far ahead and are not particularly education focused. I will however follow SavySue's advice and tactfully ask them why.

I know they have no idea whatsoever about christianity. I now even recall a coversation with my step-son not too long ago when he asked me about religion, about my going to church and himself declare he did not believe. It was almost as though he thought we were stupid for going and believing!

I, on the whole do not care what other people believe/don't believe, do or don't do; as far as I'm concerned it's entirely up to them and I certainly would never dream of preaching to them. My religion, for me is a private thing. Going to church is something I choose to do, for me religion is personal, and I don't generally discuss it at all with the people I know. I also choose to bring my kids up within the moral compass of christianity. What decisions they make when they are older is entirely up to them. My experience of Christianity is that it is a very kind and forgiving religion and encourages you to think of others and try not to be selfish and greedy; and so I believe the influence and support my kids get from church as they are growing up can only be a positive thing.

On reflection, I would say if my step-son were to get his child christened, I wouldn't bat and eye lid as it's up to him, (I know the rest of his family, grandmother etc are not religious, so it's not a case of pressure from relatives), but the fact they are expecting us to be there and be part of it (about a 5 hour drive to get there as well) is what has bothered me. I feel that standing there, listening to them take holy vows on behalf of their child when they have no belief (think it's hocus-pocus) would be hard for me to stomach. To have to witness what I know to be a lie, makes me uneasy and actually an afront to my own beliefs. To hear them promise to bring their child up as a christian, and go to church etc knowing they will never set foot in a church again (except for wedding, christening, funeral) actually fills me with disgust.

I guess people are strange creatures. I wonder if he would be able to see the logic in it if I asked him??!!

milliebear00001

I can completely understand why you feel the way you do. It is the same reasoning that meant I would never get married in a church or christen my kids. I do think though, that it's likely your step son completely understands he's doing something illogical - he's not stupid after all - it's just that he wouldn't care very much about the 'false' promises he's making - largely because he doesn't care about the faith. All of this of course, is assuming that he does feel how you have said - it's impossible to know for sure what he thinks privately about god and church - many people don't even know themselves!

It's sad for you that you feel affronted by his choice, but it's really between him and the church. If you are really upet by it, then don't attend, but I don't see that there's much else you can do without causing some sort of upset with your husband's family.

pinksleepybear

margaretclare wrote: »

Anyone can be baptised at any age, but the difficulty is, if they are never exposed to any kind of faith when growing up, they may very likely never give it a moment's thought.

Get them while they're young and stupid, you mean?

seven-day-weekend

pinksleepybear wrote: »

Get them while they're young and stupid, you mean?

Well that is not a very intelligent comment, is it?

How are they going to be able to 'chose' in later life if thy are not aware of the choices?

I was not aware of the choices until I was 30, having been brought up in a non-religious household and never having been to church. I wish i'd known the choices a bit earlier.

My son, who WAS brought up in a Christian household, has said that he is glad that we showed him the faith when he was young, even though he doesn't practise it now, because otherwise he would not have known the options. His words not mine.

barnaby-bear

LouBlue wrote: »

I would be interested in any couples out there who did get married in church or had their baby christened but are not religious/don't go to church. What the reasons were, it intrigues me.

Churches - beautiful, old, pretty venues at rock bottom prices