The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 3

maman

Just catching up and I had to comment on your darling child 40SM. That is so lovely and also poignant. I'm going to hang on to his observation as I think moderate (or no) drinking around children is so important. Sadly that hasn't always been the case with me but it is now and always will be.

sleepyjo

After all my good efforts and having coped yesterday with parents, husband etc., i feel absolutely pi----d off, i feel a failure in every aspect, i have fallen off a great big truck......
had a row with husband this morning - basically, work always comes first! i know it is important, but if my husband has anything to do with it,he would spend 24 hrs a day working, we never ever seem to go out or do anything - before it didn't bother me as much, cause i would get some cans of cider or a bottle of wine in, and be quite happy for the night or two or three...
But since i (gave up the booze) i feel more and more depressed about Never doing anything at all! it all came to a front about 2.00 O'clock this afternon, when about four different friends, all said what they had planned for the weekend, like going out for a meal tonight, going away in the caravan for the weekend, going to friends for a bbq etc, etc., i just felt like, we never seem to go anywhere together! i go off with my son - when he is home, or my daughter (on the odd occasion) when she is home, but for me and my husband to go out, especially on a weekend or bank holiday, is unthinkable!!!!!!!!
then a freind called in to ask if i could look after her dog, because she was going away on a surprise weekend away! and i sort of flipped afterwards, and thought 'what is the point'?
proceeded to the off liscence and bought 2 litre's of my favourite cider and i am slowly getting through it! At the moment i feel SHAME for even buying it, espectially after telling you all, that i was giving up, I just feel like all i ever do, is work, pay bills, with hardly any fun in between, if one of the children are not home, then it can be months on end before we ever seem to go anywhere.
So, as i am ploughing my way through 2 litrre's of white lightning cider, i have also purchased abottle of white wine as well, just in case i need it ( nothing is ever done in halves!) and feel lie sh-t.
I am fed up with everyone else doing nice, everyday things all weekend and bank holiday's and me - stuck at home doing nothing at all, because my husband would rather work.
i feel so fed up - i know i was upset yesterday, and don't feel like i got over that, then today, everything just seemed to come crashing down on top of me!! if you know what i mean.

i am so so sorry to rant away, but feel absolutely yuk.
jo-jo
p.s. i will have to change my signature!

pariskate

Jo-jo, I'm really sad to hear you're feeling so bad about you DH and yourself, but please don't be too hard on yourself. you've been going great guns and all of us slip up, especially when it comes to something and slippery and difficult to deal with as alcohol.
Can only suggest you limit the damage today and drink lots and lots of water so you don't feel too carp tomorrow morning and avoid your DH - I know that if I were you now, I would precipitate a huge row, me drunken raging and DH defensive and appalled. As Miss P (I think) commented - not pretty.
Even a really early night might be a good way to duck out if it all.

I really feel for you right now, take care.

mollypolly

Sleepyjo

Is the cider making you feel any better?
Sometimes we really have to count our blessings.....and not feel hard done by.
At least your OH works.......

Wouldnt it be better to throw the alcohol away......chill out in a nice bubbly bath....cook a lovely meal and light some candles for when OH does come home.

I have the same problem with my DH sometimes so I arrange nights out and then tell him...'Dont be working on Friday(or whatever day)night as I have a surprise planned.';)This usually works if I give him some notice.
I have arranged a trip to the theatre and then a meal after for next Saturday....and have told him not to arrange anything......He doesnt know where he is going:rolleyes:

I hope you soon feel a bit happier....and as Pariskate says.....get drinking the water.

Take care of you
Love Mollypolllyxxxx

budget_babe

THE MAY ALCOHOL FREE WELLBEING CHALLENGE TO BE A BETTER

:AME:A

MEMBERS COMMITTED TO OUR MAY CHALLENGE ARE AS FOLLOWS :

1 - 115k Target af days for May is: 15, Actual 1
2 - 40something Target af days for May is: 31, Actual 1
3 - Annie D Target af days for May is: 31, Actual
4 - Budget babe Target af days for May is: 31, Actual 1
5 - Bhb Target of af days for May is: 31, Actual 1
6 - Dotstar Target af days for May is: 12, Actual
7 - Different Corner no target set. Achieved
8 - Eselt Target af days for May is: 31, Actual 1
9 - Fayjmck Target af days for May is: 31, Actual 1
8 - Fedupski Target af days for May is: 26, Actual
10 - Fluffyb Target af days for May is: 10, Actual
11 - Glasgowgirl Target af days for May is: 10, Actual
12 - Jo1972 Target af days for May is: 31, Actual 2
13 - Lurkio Target af days for May is: 15, Actual
14 - Lillibet D Target af days for May is: 10 Actual 1
15 - Maman Target af days for May is: 10, Actual 1
16 - Maz123 Target af days for May is: 20, Actual
17 - Miss piggy Target af days for May is: 31, Actual
18 - MollyPolly Target af days for May is: 31 Actual 1
19 - Nelski Target af days for May is: 10 Actual
20 - Ntc Target af days for May is: 16, Actual 1
21 - Noynoy Target af days for May is: 10, Actual
22 - Pariskate Target af days for May is: 21, Actual
23 - Priceisright Target af days for May is: 16, Actual 1
24 - Sleepyjo Target af days for May is: 31, Actual 1
25 - Stroppy
26 - Wbc Target af days for May is: 12, Actual
27 - Winebox Target af days for May is: 10, Actual:

Sorry if I have missed anyone off believe me it is not intentional. But Stroppy and Different Corner I don't have any targets for you? Nelski do you still want to join in sweetheart? We also have a lot of missing members who have not indicated if they want to join?

Please feel free to post a target right up until nearing the end of the challenge, as just doing just one af day if you are struggling to stop is still an achievement.

Jo I am so pleased you are joining me in May, you really cheered me up well done angel and good luck. Hugs xxxxxxx

Welcome also to: Annie D and Price is right, good luck and enjoy posting on here. Hugs xxxxxx

Fedupski glad to see you back from your hols, I hope you had a fab time? Hugs xxxxxx

Its been hard catching up and Mr Bb is roaming around with his hammer asking me where I want things? So trying to type and check everyones updates has been a little hard so if I have missed your total can you please advise?

Love and hugs
Budgie xxxxxxxxxxxx

P.s I am aiming to be healthier and fitter and to lose weight in May? xxxxxxxxxx

Different_Corner

Dear jo-jo
I feel for you. I've written this post three times so far, trying to say to you do something for yourself, treat you. Pay yourself some attention if no-one else will. Sometimes our dear OH just don't get it and it's easy to feel invisible.

Hope that comes across as I mean it.

budget_babe

Sorry in my rush to post I just wanted to say: Thankyou again to Happy Shopper for doing the scoring in April. its most appreciated. :T

Take care and watch out for anything sharp on the roads, you have got to take care of your tyres.

Love n hugs xxxxxxxxxxxx

Edit Sleepjo just saw your post, hugs sweetheart and please try not to drink anymore now, you know it won't help and it will just make you feel worse than you do now. Lots of love and please, please take care. xxxxxxxxxxx

40somethingmum

sleepyjo wrote: »

After all my good efforts and having coped yesterday with parents, husband etc., i feel absolutely pi----d off, i feel a failure in every aspect, i have fallen off a great big truck......
had a row with husband this morning - basically, work always comes first! i know it is important, but if my husband has anything to do with it,he would spend 24 hrs a day working, we never ever seem to go out or do anything - before it didn't bother me as much, cause i would get some cans of cider or a bottle of wine in, and be quite happy for the night or two or three...
But since i (gave up the booze) i feel more and more depressed about Never doing anything at all! it all came to a front about 2.00 O'clock this afternon, when about four different friends, all said what they had planned for the weekend, like going out for a meal tonight, going away in the caravan for the weekend, going to friends for a bbq etc, etc., i just felt like, we never seem to go anywhere together! i go off with my son - when he is home, or my daughter (on the odd occasion) when she is home, but for me and my husband to go out, especially on a weekend or bank holiday, is unthinkable!!!!!!!!
then a freind called in to ask if i could look after her dog, because she was going away on a surprise weekend away! and i sort of flipped afterwards, and thought 'what is the point'?
proceeded to the off liscence and bought 2 litre's of my favourite cider and i am slowly getting through it! At the moment i feel SHAME for even buying it, espectially after telling you all, that i was giving up, I just feel like all i ever do, is work, pay bills, with hardly any fun in between, if one of the children are not home, then it can be months on end before we ever seem to go anywhere.
So, as i am ploughing my way through 2 litrre's of white lightning cider, i have also purchased abottle of white wine as well, just in case i need it ( nothing is ever done in halves!) and feel lie sh-t.
I am fed up with everyone else doing nice, everyday things all weekend and bank holiday's and me - stuck at home doing nothing at all, because my husband would rather work.
i feel so fed up - i know i was upset yesterday, and don't feel like i got over that, then today, everything just seemed to come crashing down on top of me!! if you know what i mean.

i am so so sorry to rant away, but feel absolutely yuk.
jo-jo
p.s. i will have to change my signature!

Oh Darling . I wish I could come round and give you a big hug . Don't feel guilty life is hard for you at the moment . You will get through this eventually .

40sm

Different_Corner

BB
Not sure I'm setting a target, have family coming for half term will be a testing time, just going to go with the flow. I have to say the bells are tinkling tonight but I'm focussing on a good nights sleep.

Nelski

Hiya all and particularly Budget Babe. Thought you would have forgotten me by now !! Ok so I will go for a target of 10 days to start if thats ok. None so far but weekdays are the ones I plan to cut down on.

10 :eek::eek::eek: if I can do that I will be really proud:o