The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 3

Pippilongstocking

Hey Anne

Hope you feel better

My ex-husband had an affair and I drank
The man who tried to be with me next left me because I think I was too unpredicable due to drink
My new OH has very slowly put up with things and said nothing about my drinking - the final straw for him though was at xmas when I got terribly drunk and said all the things about him that really frustrated me, I was nasty and I was cold, he walked out in the middle of the night.

He said nothing but I knew if I kept on going still then I woudl have no one with me again cos I would drive them away.

I don't know if you can forgive your husband, but like others have said tonight you certainly can't do it with a fuggy head nor the next day with that horrible paranoid head you will have.

Sounds like he made a mistake and sounds like you both want things to work.

If its a choice between a partner and a glass of wine, I am beginning to realise that the wine isn't helping me at all, and if anythign its making me worse not better - but its comforting - I am trying to be bravve and chose the person not the bottle.

Hugs to you baby. x Try even a day at a time to havve some AF time. you might feel better/clearer once the fog clears.

maman

Hope you're OK Jo, I'm sure you can do it without those pills. You are so good for us when you're happy and bouncy that I worry about you when your mood changes Shiny new day coming up!

AnnBerlin, it must be so hard to forgive. If there's one thing that this thread does well it makes you think. It's like an on-line version of CBT. Alcohol does some strange things and it seems like the 'sober' you wants to forgive and get on with life. Maybe at the moment the wine is helping you dull the pain while you think it through. Just try and keep it under control (3 glasses seems OK to me).

I've had bells coming and going all night! I decided to try surfing the urge as, in theory, it should have been relatively easy for me today. I got over the 6 p.m. hurdle, went out for 7.30pm to theatre. Had an ice cream in interval because bells were calling me to the bar (doesn't help that theatres encourage people to bring drinks to their seats these days). Got home about 11pm still hearing bells but determined NOT to waste an AF day when I was so close. I think the problem was that it was a planned drinking night (weekend/going out) but I wanted to play catch-up on last week. 7AF please 40SM

Jumping off for a couple of days now.

'night all.

yellowmonkey

Morning.

Sorry to hear about everyones strugggle last night. Drink brings up strange emotions and memories and sometimes not good ones.

When drunk I have great ideas and think I feel good but from the outside I look pitifull and ugly. I am starting to realise this and can honestly say that since ditching the beer and having a glass of wine I have not even been a bit tipsy.

Why then do I drink at all . I dont know the answer to that but I am not ready yet to abstain totally and do enjoy the wine when I have it. Did not fancy one last night so am now on 6 AF days now please 40SM.

I tell you what, and some may not agree, giving up smoking is far easier than the drink.

Hope you all have a great weekend and achieve everything you want or if not enjoy trying to

ym

jo1972

yellowmonkey wrote: »

I tell you what, and some may not agree, giving up smoking is far easier than the drink.

A hell''uva lot easier YM

Gotta run cos gotta take the kids football this morning, DD2's starting as well today and she's only 3 awwwww shes so excited so better dash in case we're late.

Thanks to all for the fantastic support and advice last night, espesh my dear GC for the words that put it all into perspective....as usual :rolleyes:

In the words of Arnie.....I'll be back!


xx

RecoveringAlcoholic

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

40somethingmum

Morning all,

I have fallen off the wagon a few times this week and my head is now banging:mad:

Jo well done darling on not caving last night you are a real star:T.

Hugs to everyone .

Have a lovely weekend

The latest scores are :

THE JUNE ALCOHOL FREE CHALLENGE

Let’s do something different instead

MEMBERS COMMITTED TO OUR JUNE CHALLENGE ARE AS FOLLOWS :

1 – Miss Piggy Target af days for June: 30, Actual 14
2 – 115K Target af days for June is: 30, Actual 3
3 - WBF Target af days for June is: 14, Actual 8
4 – Jo1972 Target af days for June: 0 Actual 19:T:T:T:A:j:j
5 - YM Target af days for June is: 0, Actual 6
6 - Bhb Target of af days for June is: 30, Actual 16
7 -netttie Target af days for June is: 26, Actual 18
8 - Different Corner af days for June is: 30, Actual 18
9 - Eselt Target af days for June is: 30, Actual 19:T
10 -Fayjmck Target af days for June is: 30, Actual 18
11 - Fedupski Target af days for June is: 30, Actual 17
12 - Fluffyb Target af days for June is: 10 Actual 12:T:j
13 - Maman Target af day is for June is: 10 Actual 7
14 - Orchid Target af days June is: 24, Actual 11
15 – PIR af days for June is: 26 Actual 17
16 – Sparky0107 af days June is: 10, Actual af days 4
17 - Lurkio Target af days for June is: 20, Actual 12
18 - Lillibet D Target af days for June is: 10 Actual: ?
19 - Winebox Target af for June is: 10 Actual 6
20 - Mackeroo Target af days for June is: 15 Actual ?
21 - 40SM Target af days for June is: 30, Actual 8:mad:
22 - Maz123 Target af days for June is: ?, Actual 15
23 – Ageing biker Target af days June is 22, Actual ?
24 - MollyPolly Target af days for June is: 30 Actual 19:j:j:D
25 - Glasgowgirl Target af days for June is: 16 Actual 6
26 - Nelski Target af days for June is:? Actual ?
27 - Ntc Target af days for June is:?, Actual ?
28 - Noynoy Target af days for June is: ?, Actual 0
29 - Badger Target af days for June is: 20 Actual ?
30 - Openscreen Target af days for June is: ? Actual 0
31 - Pariskate Target af days for June is: 20, Actual 2
32 – Annie_d Target af days for June is: 0 Actual 8
33 - BB Target af days for June is: 23, Actual 18
34 - Stroppy Target af days for June is: 8 Actual 1
35 - Sleepyjo Target af days for June is: ?, Actual 0
36 - Escapism Target af days for June is 8, Actual ?
37 – Time2growup Target af days for June 16, Actual 14
38 – Hopeful34 Target af days for June 20, Actual 13
39 – Biglass target af days For June 15, Actual 1
40- ForeverHopeful Target af for June 2. Actual ?

115K

annberlin wrote: »

Hi am siting here seething after 3 glasses of wine thinking about all the things OH has decieved me about.The times when I went out shopping in my break and he was taking her to dinner.The times when I ironed his shirt ,so that he looked good for her. The times I dropped him off to work,when he had a business meal the night before, but it was her he was taking out..When does all of this go out of my mind?Maybe I really need to get rid of him?He tells me he loves me and all the things he does suggests he is really sorry.But am I really going to be able to put this behind me!! .When sober I think I can,but 3 glasses of wine into the affray, not sure!!Maybe it does not and that is my answer!! not sure!! i do know it will always be in the back of my my mind and may contribute to my drinking.Anyway looking forward to your thoughts.

I'm sorry that you went through that. I know people that have found couples counselling helpful, have you tried something like that? I would find it very difficult to be in your situation as I do not forgive easily. ((Hugs)) and I hope you feel a bit brighter today.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.:A

fedupandskint

YM - you're right there about stopping smoking, once I decided to stop I stopped with relatively no effort, hmmm.....

Well fell off the waggon last night for some reason - how can makinga rissotto for tea be a trigger, well I like to add a glass of wine or noilly prat vermouth and I can tell the difference when it isn't there. So I added a glass and of course I then had a couple of glasses.

I had a massive headache while drinking, terrible night sleep, woke up at 5.30am and 7am, with a headache. Finally woke up at 9.30am! What happened there - after 2 glasses of wine???

Right better take the dog for a walk now

fedupandskint

annberlin wrote: »

Hi am siting here seething after 3 glasses of wine thinking about all the things OH has decieved me about.The times when I went out shopping in my break and he was taking her to dinner.The times when I ironed his shirt ,so that he looked good for her. The times I dropped him off to work,when he had a business meal the night before, but it was her he was taking out..When does all of this go out of my mind?Maybe I really need to get rid of him?He tells me he loves me and all the things he does suggests he is really sorry.But am I really going to be able to put this behind me!! .When sober I think I can,but 3 glasses of wine into the affray, not sure!!Maybe it does not and that is my answer!! not sure!! i do know it will always be in the back of my my mind and may contribute to my drinking.Anyway looking forward to your thoughts.

Just reading back before I go, like others have said perhaps you need to see how your head and heart feel when you are sober. Alcohol will affect how you feel and what you want to do ad you can't rely on a substance to make that decision for you otherwise it won't be your decision.

Take care my dear

Jo - hope you are ok, I know how hard it is too at times

jo1972

WB, being upbeat wasn't an act, I've been feeling so much better in myself since I've quit drinking. No double deckers in the house, infact I've eaten so much of them recently I've gone off them.....on to toblerone instead

BHB, how was your prescribed beer, did you stick to within your allowance? x

PIR, enjoy your day off the wagon today, hope you don't overdo it and feel carp tomorrow

Ann, watch those sweats etc.. if you've been drinking on a daily basis and drinking a lot then I'd advise seeing your doctor before you cut alcohol out completely, withdrawals can be nasty things, we don't want you to be put off quitting by feeling worse than when you started! Good thing is that the withdrawals are short lived and manageable, plus you have us for support. I hope you're feeling better today

Congrats Maman on the AF night, what did you see at the theatre? Have a good weekend and see you back here next week :wave:

YM, I agree about when we've had a drink everything we think of seems like a good idea, then the next day we wonder what on earth we were thinking :rotfl: Congrats on the 6 days :T

RA, thanks for the serenity prayer, it makes perfect sense doesn't it? x

40SM, jump back up on the wagon tonight with me, I'll keep you safe and sound hunny, thanks for the extra jumpy et al

How you doing 115K? x

FUAS, my triggers are quite bizarre too, plus I didn't know they were triggers till there's no alcohol around :rotfl: how's everything going with you? xx

Hiya to everyone else, won't name seperately so I don't forget anyone

Just got back from footie, DS has made the team and will start 'properly' next week :j so that means proper committment every Saturday now, alarm must be set every week :eek: DD2 started today and really enjoyed it, she ignored practically everything that the coach said and just wandered around the pitch with her football in the wrong direction, but hey she enjoyed it. Most of the little ones were doing the same anyway. They had a 2 player play-off and DD2 and another new little one had to tackle the ball and score a goal but they just kept passing it to each other, the coach asked the crowd if anyone had lighters or candles and some soft music, he said it was the politest (sp?) game of footie he's ever seen :rotfl: we were all crying with laughter at the side....but SHE SCORED :cool:

I'm really pleased I didn't cave last night, hoping the bells don't toll tonight. We are going out for DD2's birthday today, don't know where we're going yet, it's her 4th birthday next Thursday but OH is going to Glastonbury on Wednesday so we are doing birthday celebrations today instead, she's very excited

Hope you all have a good day :wave:

xx