MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Do you give cash to just one of your kids?

Maryliz

Mick should share the money equally between son and daughter otherwise he is allowing his son to be profligate with his money at the expense of his financially aware daughter. He should also make it a condition that Gavin uses his share to help pay off his debts. He could ask Stacey if she would 'lend' her share to Gavin to be paid back with a fair rate of interest, but as Gavin is so bad with money it could be a bit 'dodgy'.

kathjone

I have 3 grown up kids - all different in how they manage money! I have helped 1 out with a share of my savings for deposit on a house but the same amount is availlable to the other 2 as and when they need it, still held in my name. If i gave them the money now they would just blow it, so i prefer to keep it myself until the time comes when they need it. I would not have helped 1 if i didn't have the same amount to help the other 2.

zebedy

I would suggest he lend the money to the son to help get him out of his troubles but agree a sensible re-payment plan so that the son has to learn.

Once the father has the money repaid by the son he can either keep it or could then divide it equally between the children

PeteTheBubble

The fairest way is to split it equally between the two of them. After all, whats to stop Gavin from making the same mistakes again?

mr-tom_2

OK.

The way I see it is that this chap promised to help his son with his debts.

Some people think that therefore he must give money to the son to fulfil this promise.

Frankly I think that is little help as it does nothing about the reasons he got into debt. Only by working long and hard to clear the debt will he learn the importance of budgeting properly. If he loves the child, he will do what is best for it in the long run.

If he wants to distribute the cash then he can either give a gift (maybe matching the Son's repayments and just giving cash to the daughter), or can put it aside towards wedding costs or a house deposit.

aubergine

He should treat his children equally where the situation is equal.

If Gavin's woes were not self-inflicted he would be justified in helping him and not Stacey if she was ok - I have been in a situation where a sibling needed help through no fault of her own and I didn't and did not begrudge it.

I would suggest that Stacey would be a more deserving recipient of the money, but does not need it.

If he wants to help Gavin by giving him money he should give equally to Stacey and the gift to Gavin should go directly to the creditors and be totally conditional on him managing his debts, mending his ways etc

stee01

speaking as someone who is in debt (an interest free student overdraft of £1250 which is clear now but won't be in a couple of weeks (rent + food + bills) and we all know how unstable these seem to be recently ) I think he should either keep it himself (its his money that he earn't why should he give it away) or split it down the middle. Why should Gavin get more money (which in effect is the case, since he has more money spent with cards etc). I know I wouldn't want my siblings missing out because I've screwed up my life. Would you? It's not fair

josey1964

If he wants to help out his son, he should also give the same amount to his daughter, or ask her if she wants it putting into an account for future use.

I am one of 4 children and the only one who has never asked my parents for money. My mother has given money freely to each of the others knowing it will never be returned. I dont want their money, but I would like an acknowledgement that I have done well and stood on my own two feet.

Countertenor

On no account reward bad financial behaviour. If he's always been rubbish, where's the incentive to change? Split the money 2 ways, give the girl the cash, but put the other 1/2 in an interest bearing account which Gavin can only have access to once he's paid off his debts.

mlucyminx

it should be split equally. Its the son's fault he is in that mess and maybe the daughter could treat herself for a change