MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Do you give cash to just one of your kids?

Former_MSE_Wendy
Former_MSE_Wendy Posts: 929
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edited 28 April 2009 at 8:34PM in MoneySaving polls
Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
Do you give cash to just one of your kids?

Mick's 21 year old son Gavin has always been rubbish with money and has difficult credit card and overdraft debts, yet his twin sister, Stacey's, always been money savvy and never owed a penny. After an unexpected bonus at work Mick has spare cash, he's promised to help Gavin out of difficulty but then there's nothing left to give Stacey. Should he simply give each child the money equally?
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  • scotsbob
    scotsbob Posts: 4,632 Forumite
    Obviously give it all to Gavin, the female child will just waste it on shoes and hairdos and nails and stuff
  • mrscb
    mrscb Posts: 1,163
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    he should give them an equal amount each,but also give help to his son to help him manage his debts and ensure he gets out of his bad situation.:D
    :beer: Am thinking of a new one:beer:
  • Yes, of course Mick should share the money out equally, otherwise he's just teaching his son that it's ok to be rubbish with money, and punishing his daughter for being good with hers. I speak as a person who has one sibling who is absolutely terrible with money! Boys, huh! ;)
  • Pinky4ever wrote: »
    ... I speak as a person who has one sibling who is absolutely terrible with money! Boys, huh! ;)
    Yeah, good thing you're getting your guidance from that Martin chick.
  • scubaangel
    scubaangel Posts: 6,600
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    I would say give each child the same amount - if it helps the son deal with some of his debts then great, and the daughter can use her portion however she chooses, but to give all the money to the son would be horribly unfair.
    It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.
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  • nearlyrich
    nearlyrich Posts: 13,698
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    I would always treat my two fairly it's how we were treated by our parents and I would feel bad giving one child more than the other.
    Free impartial debt advice from: National Debtline or Stepchange[/CENTER]
  • tallgirld
    tallgirld Posts: 484
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    It would be unfair to only give to one child.

    Maybe he should keep it for himself !!!!!!
  • Taffybiker
    Taffybiker Posts: 927 Forumite
    The kids should get equal amounts. The best way for Gavin to learn to handle his money is to make him realise how difficult it is to become debt free, and to achieve that he will have to do it the hard way. A semi bail-out will help a lot. A full bail out will achieve nothing since Gavin would be likely to go straight back in again.
    When Gavin sees his sister going on holiday/buying new items the daftness of his financial history should hammer home what could have been.

    It would certainly make me think twice!
    Try saying "I have under-a-pound in my wallet" and listen to people react!
  • Always treat children exactly the same - if you want your kids to love you! Even if they don't tell you, they WILL NEVER forget you treating their sibling differently like this. My philosophy is to help each child when they need it, making sure that in the longer term they both get the same. I explain this to them as and when it happens and they have no doubt, if one has it, the other will get it when they need it. So if there's no chance of being able to give them help later on - just split it now. Help the son by taking partial control of his finances (in other words, get access to his accounts so you can watch what he's doing, don't take over completely or he'll never learn) and if he won't let you do that, he doesn't want help!
  • ailuro2
    ailuro2 Posts: 7,535
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    Spend it on a holiday for himself, if he keeps bailing out the boy, then the boy will never learn.

    Buy Gavin a copy of anything by Martin Lewis (or Alvin Hall:p) and offer to help go through his finances with him to see where he might cut back. He has only promised to help him out of difficulty, not promised to pay off his debt for him!

    Give the daughter a present equal to the book, or even take them both out to dinner, time spent with family doesn't really have a price does it?;)
    Member of the first Mortgage Free in 3 challenge, no.19
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