concerned about 10yr old daughters weight

milliemonster

My lovely 10 year old daughter is slightly overweight (by the paediatric BMI tables, I am a nurse) and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it.

Unfortunately, she is going to have weight issues like I always have in the fact that she gains weight easily just like me. I have managed to control my weight through healthy eating and running and I do on the whole feed my family a healthy diet. The problem I have is that my 6 year old son has a thyroid disorder and is underweight because of this so he has to have a high calorific diet which makes things a little awkward.

My daughter is currently wearing childrens clothes age 13-14 years which even those she is struggling to be able to fasten now and she can fit in adult clothes between size 6 and 10, the trouble is she is carrying so much weight around her middle so that her stomach hangs over her jeans etc and she is becoming embarrassed by it.

I don't want to create a situation where she is obsessed with dieting esp at her age, so I have been trying for the last 6-12months to just encourage a healthy diet in the family on the whole, being active etc in the hope this would kick start things but it's making no difference, she is still gaining weight.

She is not very active, I have tried encouraging this by getting her swimming, walking with the dog etc but she is extremely unfit and is out of breath very quickly, when we go swimming she spends more time hanging at the side of the pool that actually swimming for instance! I also thought that as she sees me running regularly to keep my weight down, this would realise that its the norm to exercise and not something that would single her out from the rest of the family.

She doesn't play out when all her friends do as she would rather be inside drawing etc (she is very creative more than sporty!)

She doesn't eat between meals but she does have large portions (adult size really) and if I don't watch her, she will eat her brothers leftovers, and our leftovers! I make sure her pack up for school is healthy, low fat yogurt and fruit, I omit margarine from her bread and put healthy fillings in such as tuna (low cal mayo and only a little bit), ham salad etc so I can control what she eats at home but it is difficult when she is away from home, for instance, she has school dinners 2 days a week where I can't control what she has as it is a set meal. She also goes to cubs once a week where they all have sweets. She also stays at my dads on a weekend who will feed my kids anything that is quick and easy (usually sausage rolls, pork pies, pizza and chips!) as he can't be bothered to cook, I have tried talking to him about this but he doesn't get it.

I don't want her to spend her teenage years like I did constantly being picked on for being big, struggling with my weight and crying constantly into my pillow, I don't want that for her.

I have thought about going to see my GP and get their advice but I am concerned my daughter will then think this is a really big deal and I am trying not to turn it into a huge issue.

Can anyone give me any advice?

vik6525

Oh hun....

Your daughter sounds exactlly like my son.....

I know it sounds like the obvious (well REALLY obvious!!) question, but have you tried limiting her portions? What happens when you do this?

snowmaid

I assume that you have had her checked for diabetes etc? Weight around the middle at this age isn't good, which I am sure you know.

Perhaps the family could take up hiking? This will be fun as well as healthy. You could pack a picnic etc.

Do you have bicycles? There are wonderful parks around and with summer coming, hopefully some good weather will be in store.

Perhaps encourage her to snack on fruit and low fat yogurt. These are available continuously for my son, who is ravenous, especially after school. :rolleyes:

milliemonster

Thank you for your comments, I haven't checked her for diabetes to be honest but I know she hasn't got type 1 at present (as a nurse I know this comes on rapidly and they can get very ill very quickly!) but type 2 I hadn't thought of until you have mentioned it.

Yes the weight around the middle really concerns me, although I have had weight problems all my life I have never carried excess weight around my middle (I'm a pear shape!) so just end up with a huge backside!!!

We do go hiking as a family but as I said, she is very unfit and moans a lot of it!, we all have bikes and I have even tried getting her out on her bike and cycling alongside me while I run but she lags behind me on that!!! and is really slow and ends up going home saying she can't do it, I am at my wits end with it really.

I do encourage her to snack on fruit and yogurt and fortunately she will eat anything (maybe that's the problem lol!) she isn't fussy about food, she loves salad etc.

I know with kids you should try to not make them lose weight but grow into their weight if you know what I mean, this is what I have been trying to do but she is hitting puberty now (she got her first bra at the weekend 34AA!!) but she isn't slimming down. This was why I thought I needed advice from the GP as I need to get her weight down without disrupting her growth.

Regarding her portions, at home I do limit the size she has and tell her to get a yogurt or fruit afterwards if she is still hungry, but I know if she is away at her grandparents etc she will just be eating huge portions there and of the wrong things. I think it is the portion size and snacks she eats away from home coupled with the lack of activity that is causing this and without creating an issue of her weight with everyone else I can't see what else I can do

vik6525

Ok, another daft question....

Is she drinking enough water?

As I said, my son is exactlly the same, and sometimes, he'll eat his meal, and then complain about still being hungry. The 'signals' for thirst and hunger are difficult to 'read' for kids, so could she be saying shes hungry, when really she just hasnt drunk enough?

MrsTinks

I think not addressing it will have bigger impacts on her health than you addressing it with her doctor. As a nurse you very obviously don't need any of us telling you the implications
I think at her age, depending on how "grown up" she is I would sit her down and have a chat with her and explain how calories and exercise works. Maybe finding a different type of exercise will help her more? I know as a kid I cycled loads but only because I had to to get to the stables If cycling or horses aren't her thing then what about kayaking? Actually very good exercise and something I know I enjoyed... Try to think of different types of exercise she might enjoy - martial arts?

looby75

your dd sounds exactly like my dd at that age, she started putting weight on and had quite a tummy on her. I tried cutting back on buying junk (not that I bought that much to start with) and encouraging her to be more active but none of it seemed to help much and she still was a podgy kid what made it even more frustrating for her was that she is a little rabbit when it comes down to food, salad and raw veg were (and still are) her favourite foods.

But to look at her now (she's 16) you would never have guessed she used to be overweight. Pretty much as soon as she hit puberty the fat seemed to melt away. She was still eating the same kind of diet and her activity levels hadn't really changed but she shot up in hight and suddenly she was more in proportion. Her tummy went away (but much to her disgust it seemed to move to her boobs lol) and has stayed that way ever since.

After speaking to other mums it seems that my dd's experience isn't that unusual, a lot of girls seems to pile on the pounds before puberty but as soon as the hormones kick in it seems to solve the problem. Maybe your dd is going to be the same.

All I would advise is to keep encouraging her to be active and eat a healthy diet, but don't worry about her weight too much chances are it is "puppy fat".

Silverbird

I'm afraid I don't have any experience/advice, but I just wanted to say that my colleague's daughter is the same age and was having the same problems despite healthy eating. She bought a Wii Fit and they both try to beat each other and her daughter has lost a stone in 2 months (she goes on it every other day).

I would also suggest (if you haven't already) writing a food diary for each and every food and drink your daughter intakes and then work out the calories to see if she's under or over. If she's over then introduce healthier foods and take away high-calorie foods until she's at the recommended calorie intake for her age and height. I understand what you mean about not wanting her to get obsessed with dieting and I would feel the same about my children, but you can always put her on a 'diet' of sorts without actually letting her know if this is easier.

leiela

Could you cut down her portion size slightly, cut it by alittle bit each week so she doens't notice??

maybe fill her plate out with some fibrous veggy's (no-one ever got fat eating too much broccolli) limiting the heavy calorie portions such as rice/potatos etc, maybe give her one less potato to start with and an extra scoop of veg to make up the difference (being aware that some veg is full of starch and suger, like carrots, sweetcorn and can be just as bad as potato's).

I've never dealt with a overweight child but i've dealt with lots of overweight women and i've found the trick every time is to give them a diet that is overall less calories without seeming like less food, that way they don't feel restricted, diets are easier to stick to if people don't FEEL like they are on a diet... it's sooo hard to diet if your hungry.

She's a child and obviously you care alot for her and don't want her to feel like there is something wrong with her as that can lead to even more problems that are even harder to fix so i think making the changes slowly is the way to go.

Perhaps you could try and do more Active things with her, i know its hard i have a 9 year old who wouldn't EVER leave the computer if he had his way but i make a point of physically kicking him out of the house to play with the kids in the street went ever the weather is nice. He always complain's but once he's out there he run's and play's and has fun with the other kids no problem.

Take her swiming, the park on or a bike ride anything really.. even just a walk. it would be exercise for you too and it might be fun to have something the pair of you can do together.

pookienoodle

Does she like high school musical and similar?
maybe get here a dance mat(in the privacy of her room if she is self concious)
At meal times let her have a large portion but adjust the proportions of the types of food so she has more salad /veg.
make sure she drinks lots of water(the flavoured no added sugar ones are nice)
lo cal cup a soups are a good between meal filler.

you are being a great support so she may not have the same issues you had,though I understand you're concerns on a health level.

good luck.

finnigan

While I agree this is something to keep an eye on, I also think she might be laying down fat in preperation for puberty (sorry, its the best way I could think of wording it ). My eldest did this and then he started loosing it all at about 13. He is now a perfectly sized 15 yr old. If she is finishing of leftovers then feed her more, limiting her portions will make her hungrier and more food focused. Try limiting her carbs and introducing more salads and greens to fill her up, also, try not to show how concerned you are about it or she will start worring as well.

The other thing is, if your worried about her lack of activity, think of a way to incorporate her love of art with moving about, its a bit of a lame suggestion but something like a hike round a local beauty spot with her pad and pencils packed or introduce her to photography, loads of oppertunities for her to get up and out while looking for atistic scenes.

Whatever you do, goodluck with it all