concerned about 10yr old daughters weight

milliemonster

Hi again, thanks all so much for your comments and suggestions, I am trying so hard to not make an issue out of this for her as I know how it was for me growing up being bigger than all my friends and I really don't want her to feel unattractive and create a 'problem' psychologically for her. I want her to have a happy childhood and teenage years ahead of her and am trying my best to be encouraging without knocking her self esteem and confidence. My own weight issues developed into an eating disorder for which I ended up in hospital when I was 19 and this is why I am so worried about how I need to tread carefully with her so that she doesn't end up going to the other extreme.

We have watched things like supersize vs superskinny together and discussed the people on there, I have explained to her that being big or skinny is not good and when she tells me she feels sad because she is bigger than all her friends at school (which she is as they are all still like rakes whereas my daughter is now heading into puberty) I tell her that we need to focus on being healthy and looking after our bodies, some girls are curvy (like she is) some are not but we are all unique and different and that's a good thing, trying to be thin is not healthy and she should aim to be fit, whatever size that may be, hopefully I have got this through to her, I just wish I could get her a bit more active!!!

She hasn't started her periods yet but her breasts are really developing now so I think she may possibly within the next year. I am going to take her ice skating I think as I know she will enjoy that. She has also brought home a note from school about a skipping class that's starting and she says she wants to have a go, I don't push her into things at all, I try to be guided by her interests but give encouragement and lots of praise when she has a go and does her best. Her best is always good enough for me, even if she doesn't do very well in something.

Tonight she has had a jacket potato and sweetcorn and a side salad for tea with a low fat yogurt for pud, she wanted cheese on it but I steered her away from that, she has just had a toasted bagel for supper but again wanted her brothers leftovers (which I refused and promptly threw in the bin!) and then asked for some more bread! (which again I said no), now she has just asked for another yogurt....because they need eating!!!!, I have said no yet again but don't they make you feel guilty????

brazilianwax

milliemonster wrote: »

Tonight she has had a jacket potato and sweetcorn and a side salad for tea with a low fat yogurt for pud, she wanted cheese on it but I steered her away from that, she has just had a toasted bagel for supper but again wanted her brothers leftovers (which I refused and promptly threw in the bin!) and then asked for some more bread! (which again I said no), now she has just asked for another yogurt....because they need eating!!!!, I have said no yet again but don't they make you feel guilty????

I come from a family of curvy women, all of whom struggle with weight. My auntie is diabetic (type 2) and we've come to the conclusion that low carb is the only way for we curvy girls to keep type 2 at bay. I'm working with my auntie to reverse her diabetes with a low carb diet. Want to know the shocker? Her diabetes hasn't been brought on by cakes or chocolate, but fruit. She was eating loads of the stuff, and fructose is the most easily absorbed kind of sugar on the planet. If you don't burn it off it becomes fat. :eek:

The tea/supper you've given your daughter probably is worse for her than you think. That's a huge amount of carbohydrate, and without exercise she's just going to turn it to fat. Without cheese there's little protein either, especially in a low fat yogurt because it's been messed with (fat removed and replaced with water). Protein makes you feel full for longer, and fat is not unhealthy in the right amounts.

If your daughter is carrying round her tummy and not exercising, please please please be careful about the amount and kind of sugars she's consuming.

vik6525

brazilianwax wrote: »

I come from a family of curvy women, all of whom struggle with weight. My auntie is diabetic (type 2) and we've come to the conclusion that low carb is the only way for we curvy girls to keep type 2 at bay. I'm working with my auntie to reverse her diabetes with a low carb diet. Want to know the shocker? Her diabetes hasn't been brought on by cakes or chocolate, but fruit. She was eating loads of the stuff, and fructose is the most easily absorbed kind of sugar on the planet. If you don't burn it off it becomes fat. :eek:

The tea/supper you've given your daughter probably is worse for her than you think. That's a huge amount of carbohydrate, and without exercise she's just going to turn it to fat. Without cheese there's little protein either, especially in a low fat yogurt because it's been messed with (fat removed and replaced with water). Protein makes you feel full for longer, and fat is not unhealthy in the right amounts.

If your daughter is carrying round her tummy and not exercising, please please please be careful about the amount and kind of sugars she's consuming.

Was just about to say the same thing!!

Did she NEED to have that bagel? Does she NEED to have supper?


(please, op, Im honestly not getting at you, id be devestated if you thought I was.... As i said at the start, 'food' is a BIG issue in this house where my son is concerned....)

jessicamb

It sounds from your posts that your daughter needs to increase her activity lessons. I hated sport at school, didnt take part in anything other than compulsory PE and am still paying for it now. Is there anything leisure wise that could be turned into 30 minutes of exercise a few times a week? Does she like watching the dancing programmes on tv? Brownies or after school clubs? Maybe part of her not liking them is not being good at them - at school I really hated sport as I was rubbish at it but I never gave it a chance really. More group activities might help her to increase her circle of friends too.

remembered_nights

Since you go running, can't you run together? At first it will be a pain for you because she won't be up to your standard obviously, but it's something you can do together and routinely.

Wirenth

OK, can I make an exercise suggestion? You need to add a 'weights' session to the exercise that your daughter does. Not only does this burn calories, but it 'tones' the body into a denser shape and, as muscle burns more calories than fat, can act as a kick start to weight stabilisation. Start with low weights, many reps, with the sole goal of 'feeling' her muscles working. You'd be surprised at the results, and I say this as someone who HATES running and feeling out of breath.

ailuro2

Kids shouldn't do weights. End of, their bones are still growing and the muscles being developed can pull their bones off in the wrong direction.

I agree with the martial arts class suggestion - my 10yo DD has a muffin top, a BMI of 21, so it a little overweight, and yes, she worries about her weight (some girls in her class only have salad for lunch, I think that's awful!)

Martial arts classes have a good warm up, and don't reward the fastest runner or one who can control the ball the best, but they do teach balance, control, learning sequences etc.

If she doesn't like it, then there's no point, but try a few classes to see if she gets hooked.

As a lifelong chunky I never really enjoyed sports, or going to the gym, but now, even though I'm fast approaching 40yo I'm loving my martial arts - I got into after DD started, now I go to tournaments and everything (I got 3 gold medals last tourney, what a great incentive to keep going!!)

DD got 2 silvers and a bronze, but has won gold before. It does keep her self confidence up, and of course I like to think she can get herself out of tricky situations should the need arise (our martial art is quite self-defence based and the kids practise telling strangers to back off etc.)

Cheerleading, dance classes, drama school can all get them moving, I think it's very important to get her moving and not restrict her calories too much.;)

milliemonster

My son has swimming lessons on a saturday morning and at the same time I have discovered they also do a 7-11yrs dance class, I think it's jazz and salsa or something like that, I'm going to offer my daughter the chance to try it out as she loves dancing anyway, they also do taekwondo there aswell so perhaps she may be interested? I will look into it.

I have also discussed with my husband about suppers aswell, I think its a habit thing, the kids from being babies have always had a drink and a biscuit before bed, trouble is the biscuit has ended up changing over time into other things like bagels, yogurt, packet of crisps etc! and yes I realise this is no good, habits eh?

I don't want to cut out every treat though for them as I think that just makes you want things all the more (I should know being on a diet for half my life!) I think it's all about balance, but we have decided the kids can have a small snack before bed but this has to be fruit, a yogurt or a small plain biscuit and nothing more, its a start.

Yes I have tried getting my daughter running with me, I am unfortunately not the most patient parent though and although I thoroughly appreciate she is not anywhere near my standard, when I have started her on a beginners running plan, she just gives up immediately and wants to walk all the way, so hubby is going to take her instead as he has more patience than me, she does want to learn to run but I think because she sees me doing it she thinks its easy and when she trys and can't do it straight away she gives up. I hated sport at school and when I started running when she was 18months old I couldn't run for more than 30 seconds, but I persevered and built up slowly, I find it difficult that my daughter has this 'give up at the first hurdle' attitude with everything. My 6 yr old son came running with us once and he just keeps going and going! but then he is fitter and more competitive anyway.

She does go to cubs where they are active, but unfortunately they all get sweets there aswell!, I don't particularly like that but what can I do? its unfair for me to not allow her some money to have sweets at cubs when everyone else gets them?

shimmershelly

If you have room in your garden a trampoline is a good way to get them doing a bit of fun exercise. My kids are like sticks but still enjoy a bounce, when we first got ours they were on it everday even in the middle of winter. I would also buy a hula hoop and have competitions with the kids who can do it longest (great for your middle!!).
At your DD's age she might also enjoy a street dance class.

Horace

Have you tried fooling her with plate sizes? Serve up a child sized portion on a smaller plate so that it actually looks more than it is? How far away from school do you live? instead of driving her there, walk her there and walk her home - sure walking will be hard at first because she is so unfit but it will get easier the fitter she becomes.

Is she eating because eating makes her feel better? Or doesnt she understand the signals of being full and needs to eat more and more. Perhaps if you gave her water to drink when she is eating that might also fill her up a bit.

Unfortunately, it sounds to me as though she already has issues about weight and feels self conscious and therefore eats more to make herself feel better and it has become self-perpetuating. The worse she feels the more she eats, the more she eats the worse she feels.

Make walking fun by giving her a pedometer and when you go out for a hike don't turn it into a route march (there is nothing worse) but encourage her to find things and even collect things that she can draw when she gets home - she will find it less of a chore, with luck will get fitter plus she will be able to carry on drawing only drawing things she has found on her walks. Praise her when she has walked a distance, praise her when she has found something and praise her drawings too.

HTH