concerned about 10yr old daughters weight

bestpud

I haven't read the thread properly as I have to go out, but has anyone suggested a trampoline, if you have room in your garden?

Great fun and good exercise too.

vik6525

milliemonster wrote: »

My son has swimming lessons on a saturday morning and at the same time I have discovered they also do a 7-11yrs dance class, I think it's jazz and salsa or something like that, I'm going to offer my daughter the chance to try it out as she loves dancing anyway, they also do taekwondo there aswell so perhaps she may be interested? I will look into it.

I have also discussed with my husband about suppers aswell, I think its a habit thing, the kids from being babies have always had a drink and a biscuit before bed, trouble is the biscuit has ended up changing over time into other things like bagels, yogurt, packet of crisps etc! and yes I realise this is no good, habits eh?

I don't want to cut out every treat though for them as I think that just makes you want things all the more (I should know being on a diet for half my life!) I think it's all about balance, but we have decided the kids can have a small snack before bed but this has to be fruit, a yogurt or a small plain biscuit and nothing more, its a start.

Yes I have tried getting my daughter running with me, I am unfortunately not the most patient parent though and although I thoroughly appreciate she is not anywhere near my standard, when I have started her on a beginners running plan, she just gives up immediately and wants to walk all the way, so hubby is going to take her instead as he has more patience than me, she does want to learn to run but I think because she sees me doing it she thinks its easy and when she trys and can't do it straight away she gives up. I hated sport at school and when I started running when she was 18months old I couldn't run for more than 30 seconds, but I persevered and built up slowly, I find it difficult that my daughter has this 'give up at the first hurdle' attitude with everything. My 6 yr old son came running with us once and he just keeps going and going! but then he is fitter and more competitive anyway.

She does go to cubs where they are active, but unfortunately they all get sweets there aswell!, I don't particularly like that but what can I do? its unfair for me to not allow her some money to have sweets at cubs when everyone else gets them?

Have sent you a PM....

milliemonster

sent you one back Viks xx

Yes we have a trampoline but she doesn't go on it much despite encouraging her!

Their school is a quarter of a mile away and we always walk to and from it everyday. I have also discovered that at school playtimes, she mostly stays inside helping the teachers rather than getting out in the fresh air and running about!, maybe I should make an appt to see her teacher too about it or ask to see the school nurse?

Yes I think the dance class that I mentioned in my last post is a street dance class actually, I'm going to suggest it to her tonight to try.

The hula hoop is a good idea too, when we first got Wii fit she was doing that all the time (novelty seems to have worn off though now) I suggested to her last night to have a go but she didn't, I don't want to force her to do things, so its hard getting the balance between encouraging them and sounding like you're nagging and it becoming a real issue

angelicmary85

Could you try letting her walk for 20 paces then running for 20 paces then decrease the paces by 2 per session? If you done that with her instead of you running all the time she might feel a bit better about it?

barriejohn69

I have read most of the thread and sympathise. The main thing you must do is get her outside in the fresh air instead of in doors doing arty things. Why not suggest a walk around the park picking up leaves or something and making a picture out of them? At least she is getting fresh air.

I know it is not the same but the little girl next door to us is only about 7 or 8 and had to buy a size 14 dress to wear to a wedding. The only activity she gets is waving as she walks past our window to the shop. She cant wave on the way back as her hands are full of sweets.

The rest of her family are really skinny and all they say is that they cant understand why she is like it. The shove a cake in her face.

Food is not the main issue with over weight kids. It is lack of exercise and the fact most of them stay in on computers and playing games. Not only will they get fitter they will make friends. Wallowing in their own self pity will not help these kids one bit. They need to be shoved off their ample backside and out of the door whether they like it or not.

And yes I am a chubster but inly started putting weight on at about 25 because I stopped playing sport. Thats changing asap.

January20

OP in an earlier post you said that when your dd goes on the wii she spends most of her time looking at her weight, and later you said she admitted she felt sad about being bigger than her friends. To me it is clear that she is aware of a possible problem and perhaps the softly-softly approach is not the right one. I also feel that when you had that chat after watching the superskinny programme you may have given her mixed messages (you told her she was curvy when in fact you -and possibly herself- think she is fat) and perhaps that was a perfect time to tackle her weight issue.

You say she won't do sport because she is unfit and finds it hard so perhaps you should start her slowly. Going on a long hike with a fit family must be really hard for her. What about starting with small easy ones and building up on that? Cycling when you are running would be difficult too for her if she is so unfit.

And perhaps you need to shock your dad into having a more responsible attitude towards your daughter's diet. You are a nurse, so surely you must have the means to do so?

Sometimes honesty from a parent is invaluable. I wish my parents had told me when I was 16 that I wasn't fat because I wasn't, but I thought I was and it really clouded that time in my life for me and started me on a series of stupid diets!

Good luck!

glampam

I would also definitely recommend street dance/salsa and cheerleading classes for self confidence and fitness, my youngest also did martial arts which worked well for her. Very often there are after school/community clubs nearby or after school clubs at the leisure centre. My teen has lost 2 dress sizes by using our trampoline and skipping rope in the back garden and I brought a set of slightly smaller dinner plates that we all use so we all get smaller portions. Dont try to change everything too quickly - it might take some to strike a balance. Good luck

stars_bright

I can sympathise with your problem with your dad. My father is also a widower and my children have regularly stayed at his house at weekends, to be honest as a divorcee it was to give me a break, rather than keep him compnay. He has always fed the kids all sorts of rubbish, despite my asking him not to, his atitude was that he would feed them what he wanted while they were at his house. We were lucky and neither of them ended up overweight. I am not really sure why that was, maybe they are just naturally slim. But, if I was in your position I would give him the choice - either take on responsibility for helping your daughter whilst she is staying there, or not having the children to stay. I feel sorry of your dad is lonely but if he really wants the childrnes company then surely he can put the effort in to help your daughter be healthy. If your children don't go then you could always visit him as a family, or have him visit you regularly so he doesn't get too lonely. You have to put your own daughters health first. Hope this doesnt come over as being harsh, I just feel sad for your daughter. Take care

jellyhead

milliemonster wrote: »

we all have bikes and I have even tried getting her out on her bike and cycling alongside me while I run but she lags behind me on that!!! and is really slow and ends up going home saying she can't do it, I am at my wits end with it really.

I've always been rubbish at riding a bike - very clumsy. My sister and I are close in age but different builds - sis was always chubby while I was underweight, so it all seemed quite unfair to her. When we were 11 and 12 mum bought us roller skates and we would skate for hours every day - it was easier for me, and didn't feel like exercise for my sister.

It's an idea anyway, especially if she enjoys the ice skating.

jenhug

Have you considered whether she has an underactive thyroid, you say your son has an overactive thyroid, so it is possible. My friend has just had hers refused, and has only just been told that the aching arms and legs she had were related to thyroid trouble. She said she found sports difficult as a child as she tired quickly.

Also, your daughter is coming up to "that age" and sounds exactly like my 10 year old daughter!