Question about children sharing a room

Taye

TheEffect wrote: »

I know kids should be happy with what they have etc etc, but 3 people in one room is not a suitable living arrangement in my eyes. I'm not sure how old your children are, but when they get to that certain age, they're going to NEED their own space...

i agree and if you find away of letting me give it to them im all ears.

TheEffect

Taye wrote: »

i agree and if you find away of letting me give it to them im all ears.

• Look CONSTANTLY for a better paying job
• Sell up and get a council house
• If the box room can fit wardrobes and a freezer in it, it can fit a small bed. Put those somewhere else (your room if need be) and put one of the kids in there
• Look at your life and sort something out. Your an adult, and the number of people on very low income with children is very high, and the number of them that have 3 people to one room is very low.

Your kids get one childhood, so give them the best one they can have.

Hey, I might be biased and totally wrong. I'm only a teenager myself after all...

GracieP

TheEffect wrote: »

but when they get to that certain age, they're going to NEED their own space...

Nobody NEEDS there own space. We may want it and benefit from it, but we don't need it. My dad shared a small boxroom (6'x7') with 2 of his brothers and they all grew up just fine. My mother had to move in to her parents' room and share a bed with her mum from the age of 12 on as my grandfather acquired TB and it wasn't safe for him to share a room anymore.

Don't get me wrong I loved having my own bedroom and hope I'll be able to give any children I have their own room too. At the very least I hope to be able to have at least 3 bedrooms so same sex siblings don't have to share. But nobody NEEDS their own bedroom.

skylight

We have 5 kids in a 2-bed house.

Its a squeeze, I admit. But its not the end of the world! There are far worse things to worry about. Yep, I would love a bigger house, but its not going to happen so I focus on how to make things better than they are.

Currently, the larger of the 2 double rooms has a split in it (a fake wall) and DD1(15) has a "room" that is 7ftx4ftish to herself. The other 3 girls share a space that about 7ftx7ft. We currently have the other room with baby. Now, when he hits 2, we will shift the 3 girls into our room, DD1(15) will have her "room" and baby will have the little space the girls currently have.

OH and I will be sleeping downstairs and we are currently looking at and saving for, a wall bed solution (with storage!)

I talk as if its easy! It kind of is. I mean, the kids have all grown up with this sharing so they do not know any different; its normal to them. There is no way though, that we could have gone from a 5-bed house down to what we are in! And I do also wonder that even if I could afford a 5-bed place, would be just rattle around in it; how would we fill it???

TheEffect

Two children should not be sharing a room with there parent/s through teenager years. They NEED space. It's confusing times for them, and sharing a room constantly with there parents doesn't aid in helping them discover themselves and grow up.

No child in the 20th century should be sharing 3-1 room. I think the sole responsibility is down to the parents. The council would give you at least a 2 bedroom building, so swallow some pride and help the kids out.

GracieP

Taye wrote: »

1 bedroom and a tiny box room not big enough to fit a bed in. ............with some wardrobes and a freezer in the box room.

A single bed is 3'x6', are none of the walls 6'? If it was possible for a single bed to fit in there would you consider moving in to it? It would surely be a better option than the living-room as you would have some privacy. Although I have seen houses with 5'x5' "bedrooms" in the past, so that may be a total non-runner.

Jamz

Wow, I really can't believe that people would have so many kids when they have such small houses, it's so irresponsible I've got a 2 bedroom house and a small baby and until I can afford the extension I wont be having another baby at all.

GracieP

TheEffect wrote: »

They NEED space.

I don't think you understand the difference between wants and needs. If you don't get the things you NEED, you die. Nobody will die from sharing a room with a sibling or two, or even with their parents.

You NEED food, shelter, weather proof clothing, blankets and sometimes medical care. That's it.

Then there are things we benefit greatly from, electricity, education, central heating, furniture, nice foods and play. It could certainly be argued that by now everyone on earth should have these things, but quite a lot of the population don't even have access to their actual needs.

Having your own bedroom as an older child and teenager is a LUXURY. A wonderful luxury that I am glad I had growing up. But it is a LUXURY, it is so, so far from what constitutes a need it's laughable.

MrsTinks

TheEffect wrote: »

No child in the 20th century should be sharing 3-1 room. I think the sole responsibility is down to the parents. The council would give you at least a 2 bedroom building, so swallow some pride and help the kids out.

What a nice world you must have grown up in I hate to be ageist here but as you yourself pointed out you're only a teenager yourself still then frankly... your replies on here show it. Firstly by selling her house and going to the council she'll probably end up in a SINGLE B&B room if they will help her at all. Why? Because now she has spare money and she MADE herself homeless volutarily. And sadly that means most councils won't help her. Never as simple as it looks.

Sole responcibility is down to the parents... yes and she puts a roof over their heads and food on the table, good for her for taking responcibility for actually caring for her kids and not relying on others to do it for her! The benefits are there if you NEED them and obviously Taye does not feel that she needs them - shame more people didn't think like her if you ask me :T
I agree the house is not ideal for 1 adult and 2 kids and Taye maybe posting the room size on here will help others give you some suggestions on how you can jiggle things round?

Taye

I do belive I already earn more than the threshold for housing benifit, but thanks for the advice.

I don't doubt that i could sell my house and rent somewhere bigger, it's still not going to make me entitled to housing benefit.

All it would mean is that i would be paying out MORE each month as rent would be higher than my morgage and as im already financially struggling im not sure that will help.

It doens't help though when for ex-left for with a crap load of debt and hasn't paid CSA in pretty much forever. So although i have a decent income coming in i have far too much going out to leave me with any real cash.

Right now i suspect i would infact be better declaring myself bankrupt giving up the house and giving up work and living off benifits, but in 10 years where does that put me and my children?? Exactly no-where ... sitting in a council house somewhere living of benifits?? No thanks.

I don't expect you to understand but im trying to build a future for my family, yes it's hard now but i think the work will be worth it.

You are obviously someone who has NO clue what it's like, don't preach unless you've lived it.

we all do the best we can with what limited reasources we have available, i don't think i was irresponsible having the children i have... life changes i had them when things life and money was better.

None of us know what the future will bring and children arn't dogs you can dump at the pound when the finances go badly.