The ultimate incentive worked! Now onto phase two

Birdie85

I agree with Dinah about growing up, I'm totally different now to how I was at 18. OH definitely is different, if I'd met him when he was at college/early 20s I would have flat out hated him, I'm so glad we didn't go to school together because I'd have wanted him dead!
I know what you mean about affording a wedding Wendz, we'd be married this summer if money wasn't an issue, it sucks having to wait! My brother got engaged about 2 years ago and they've done nothing about getting married despite SIL's Dad giving them £5k towards the wedding, they could have a very nice wedding for that much so I don't know why they're delaying it, if I had that money I'd be married as soon as possible! I think we should get government grants towards weddings, they want more people to get married so they should give us hand towards the cost! LOL!

Dinah93

Aye don't borrow for a wedding, it's a vicious spiral. NIM and I have kind of discussed it and pencilled in Summer 2011 as when we want to get married, but obviously no planning is going ahead until he actually asks! He makes me happy 99.9% of the time, not just not miserable, but he actively makes my life better, which is more than I ever hoped for. He puts me first, before himself, and he gets a lot of pleasure from taking care of me and the same would apply to any kids.

I know he's selling something to raise the money for the ring. He won't tell me what though. The other night I had a really vivid dream about him wandering around with this really old hunting gun asking people on the street to buy it (and them running away screaming!). I told him about this and he went completely pale so I'm waiting till he asks to find out if I'm so intune with him I read his mind! (about what he's selling, not how he's doing it!).

Cinny91

Dinah93 wrote: »

People change and grow a lot in their early 20s, and if there is no rush you might as well check you're growing together.

Mind telling OH that for me? ALthough I honestly don't see us growing apart (imagine all the people who've said that!:rolleyes:) we might move in together and decided we don't want to get married for a long time or at all. I've said he can propose when I'm 23 and suggested (read told) on Christmas Eve, I got told to shush. The rudeness of some people!

Once I've done a ring around tomorrow Dinah I'll let you know what I've come up with, When my mum worked from home it was her only income which would explain the £90 tax free.

Wendz - That's so cute! I hope he does ask now. Weddings don't have to cost the earth, I think a simple Church or Registry Office wedding and a small party after would be so much more lovely and romantic than the circus weddings people do now.

Dinah93

Cinny91 wrote: »

Mind telling OH that for me? ALthough I honestly don't see us growing apart (imagine all the people who've said that!:rolleyes:)

I'd imagine you'd struggle to find anyone even on this thread who hasn't said that and been proved wrong! I said that with both my first two boyfriends (15 1/2-17 1/2, 2 years, and 18 - 21, 3 1/2 years!) and in the end it ended sadly as while I still liked both of them as people, I knew it just wasn't 100% right anymore, and a feeling like that only gets worse over time.

That's by no means to say young relationships can't work, there are some very happy couples in their 30s, 40s, 50s and older who have been with someone since 14 and still love them to bits. However unfortunately with age comes experience and sometimes loving one another just isn't enough.

Don't feel pressured into anything Cinny, you've let him know now feels too soon for you, stick with that. Going too fast can destroy an otherwise great relationship.

wendz86

Ohh Dinah, that is weird about the dream, especially if it is real. We were saying summer 2011 as well!

I defnitely wouldn't borrow. I am hoping my dad would help out a bit although if he is helping with the house then that might not happen. Think it would be a case of saving every last penny. Will be easier when OH is earnign more from next month.

I agree about the smallish wedding Cinny. I think that both our families will take up a lot of room as it is though!

Dinah93

We have nearly £300 in the wedding fund so far. From things he's saying I think he'll ask before the end of the year so I'm hoping to have £1000 in there by then (how fun, aiming for a target I can't see!).

Birdie85

On the other side of the argument... my Mum and Dad got married when she was 19 and he was 23 and they're still happy after 35 years!
I think that deep down you really know that it is right when it's right. I always knew that I wouldn't marry my ex but I was too chicken to end it so ended up staying with him out of habit. I was upset when he ended it but looking back I was upset because HE dumped ME and I was so used to spending my weekends with him I didn't know what to do with myself!

wendz86

That is a good idea to start saving. I think i need to get a move on paying my debts back if this is on the cards!

wendz86

My mum and dad met when my mum was 18, same age i was when met OH and we got married in 2011, i would be same age as my mum when she married my dad. That would be strange. They have been married for 30 years this year as well.

Dinah93

Pay off your debts first wendz otherwise its no different to borrowing for the wedding if you're saving for a wedding with one hand and paying off debts with the other. I would have thought it would be a good incentive for you though to really throw yourself at clearing the debts.

I didn't believe the whole 'when you meet the one you just know' until I met him, up until that point I thought you worked hard at a relationship at if you worked hard enough then it was a good one, certainly didn't factor in the unknown soulmate factor! And I was with someone when I suddenly felt that for the first time, so I certainly wasn't out looking for it!